yoga18 Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Hey everyone I'm just feeling a little lonely. My boyfriend right now works crazy hours he gets every other Sunday off....yea 2 days a month. So I'm feeling a little lonely and a bit selfish. I know he's tired and exhausted. I try to put myself in his shoes....I would be so tired and cranky right now. He's been doing this for years so he's a little more seasoned than I. The great thing is when he's off HE'S OFF sometimes months at a time. However, like now he's at this job for months! When we have that time ughhhh its wonderful! Conversation is great, relaxed, calm, so much talking and time together. However, when he works like this we have little time to talk, everything is rushed, conversations are very minimal, we communicate via text more than anything. So I feel a little more disconnected, I get a little more worried, feel a little less close....to be honest I worry that he is losing interest. So today I just asked him if he was happy. I could tell he was a little frustrated and he said, we are good we don't need to analyze everything. It stung a little and only for the second time did he see me cry (only a little) I tried hard not to but I am feeling a little vulnerable. He came over his typical cute way tickled my leg and hugged me. He said he was sorry but he's just so tired and doesn't want to think about anything everything is good and that he can't wait for Sunday to come cause he just wants to relax. To clarify I work days he works nights making it even a little more challenging. So my question is this how do I feel or work on staying connected during the really busy times and feel like I do when he's off without asking if things are ok with us or analyzing things? I rationally know that he's quiet right now cause he's physically and mentally exhausted yet my mind goes to "oh no something is wrong" ughhh nutty I know!
Surrealist Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Your circumstances are certainly challenging to your relationship with your bf but, given the difficulties of the situation, I think you guys have a pretty damn good handle on it even with the niggles - going by your post. I think during his busy time you are going to have to trust him (which you seem to anyway for the most part) and support him. I know I find it extremely difficult to analyse relationship issues when tired and stressed from work. Your bf appears to be prioritising his efforts toward his work while it is booming, and then relax when it is quiet.
Author yoga18 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Your circumstances are certainly challenging to your relationship with your bf but, given the difficulties of the situation, I think you guys have a pretty damn good handle on it even with the niggles - going by your post. I think during his busy time you are going to have to trust him (which you seem to anyway for the most part) and support him. I know I find it extremely difficult to analyse relationship issues when tired and stressed from work. Your bf appears to be prioritising his efforts toward his work while it is booming, and then relax when it is quiet. Yes we do our best with what we are given. Its funny sometimes I hear myself talk and I know its too much but its like word vomit! LOL I am a therapist so communication is my specialty and when there is a lack of it....I begin to panic and feel like something isn't right. I do trust him (for the most part) that little part that doesn't is just my past crap that I have to work through. It has nothing to do with him. I think I'm a little stressed too just bc I work 2 jobs and when he works like this I take care of everything from taking the trash out to caring for the dog to going to the back for him to making lunches and dinners for him so I have a lot going on as well....thank you though
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