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Is it me or does this relationship sound like a recipe for disaster?


Kain Highwind

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Kain Highwind

Once again, I don't know the best place for this so move if its needed

 

1. Friends for four and a half years

2. Went to a city like 100 miles away after just one date

3. As soon as they got back the guy changed his FB status to in a relationship

 

Just the fact that I've never known someone to be in a long relationship with someone after being friends that long (And I know from experience...) and it just seems they're going really fast... It just seems like it may be smooth now but I just can't help but think there will be problems soon

 

I know it may work out and there's no way of telling but I just have this feeling...

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Most relationships that move that fast are heartbreaks waiting to happen. Even if they knew each other before. The didn't write a song about it for no reason (You can't hurry love.)

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Kain Highwind
Most relationships that move that fast are heartbreaks waiting to happen. Even if they knew each other before. The didn't write a song about it for no reason (You can't hurry love.)

The fact that they've been friends for so long is actually the main reason I'm thinking this

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I don't think you can predict how a relationship will go based on how fast it moves.

 

I know two couples who got married about 10 years ago. The first one got engaged after only 6 months of dating and married at a year, the other had a 5 year relationship including 2 years of living together before getting married. The first is still crazy about their spouse, the second looks headed for divorce. When they got married I was still a teenager, but I would have expected the reverse.

 

I don't think a long term friendship means it won't work and I don't think making it serious after one visit will make it fail.

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Kain Highwind
I don't think you can predict how a relationship will go based on how fast it moves.

 

I know two couples who got married about 10 years ago. The first one got engaged after only 6 months of dating and married at a year, the other had a 5 year relationship including 2 years of living together before getting married. The first is still crazy about their spouse, the second looks headed for divorce. When they got married I was still a teenager, but I would have expected the reverse.

 

I don't think a long term friendship means it won't work and I don't think making it serious after one visit will make it fail.

Yeah. My friend (also the girl's) said he wouldn't be surprised if they got married but I just thought that was a pretty big stretch. I mean, they're not even in their 20s yet

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Kain Highwind

Oh, sort of related, but when should I break NC?

 

she was one of my best friends. I asked her out like the day after a date with this guy, she said we should take a break from each other

 

That was about two weeks ago. I'm fine with being friends, so I was thinking waiting like one more week?

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Dude you are only torturing yourself.

 

You really should forget about her.

 

She obviously does not want to be with you. And you are only hurting yourself by trying to be around her. You're not fooling anybody when you say you just want to be her friend.

 

If you want to move on. Don't break NC. It's the only way you can get over her.

 

Try to date other girls. It will speed up the process.

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Kain Highwind
Dude you are only torturing yourself.

 

You really should forget about her.

 

She obviously does not want to be with you. And you are only hurting yourself by trying to be around her. You're not fooling anybody when you say you just want to be her friend.

 

If you want to move on. Don't break NC. It's the only way you can get over her.

 

Try to date other girls. It will speed up the process.

I was actually going really good until my friend brought this up

 

I mean I've been talking to other girls but I'm just shocked that this happened (partly because of who it is. He was my best friend all throughout elementary-middle school who I haven't seen in years)

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Kain Highwind

I actually broke NC today. We ran into each other in the hall

 

she said that she wanted to be friends again. I did sort of feel um... idk, nervous, talking to her again but it wasn't upsetting or anything, I actually felt sort of happy for some reason. She didn't seem to have a problem talking to me either.

 

It was sort of awkward (what with the first time talking in weeks) but she said she'd talk to me tonight and that she did still wanna be friends

 

And I just remembered that the guy was like my best friend from like kindergarten to eighth grade. He left just out of nowhere so... Yeah, that's sort of weird

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The recipe for disaster is how obviously obsessed you are with this girl. Seriously who cares if she still wants to be friends YOU LIKE HER. Just move on from this drama filled situation where two friends are dating because you are not the friend she decided to date. GO ASK SOME PRETTY GIRLS OUT ALREADY.

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Kain Highwind
The recipe for disaster is how obviously obsessed you are with this girl. Seriously who cares if she still wants to be friends YOU LIKE HER. Just move on from this drama filled situation where two friends are dating because you are not the friend she decided to date. GO ASK SOME PRETTY GIRLS OUT ALREADY.

I have been and I honestly don't feel like my feelings for her are as strong as they were before. They are going away (as much as I hate to say it), since when I saw her today, I was just like "eh, cool" when I would have been really excited a few weeks ago

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I have been and I honestly don't feel like my feelings for her are as strong as they were before. They are going away (as much as I hate to say it), since when I saw her today, I was just like "eh, cool" when I would have been really excited a few weeks ago

 

Honestly I don't get excited to see girls who are "just friends" and I certainly don't feel kind of awkward around them and finaly we don't make plans to talk at night.

 

Seriously you are letting yourself get dragged into a weird situatin with a girl you like who is dating a guy you used to be best friends with kindergarten through middle school....

 

How about just going back to nc and not answering the phone or going to meet her for a talk.... just avoid her. And ASK GIRLS OUT... don't get all obsessed with them before you've been dating... actualy never get obssesed but the point is you shouldn't be to emotionaly invested in a person untill you really get to know them.

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Kain Highwind
Honestly I don't get excited to see girls who are "just friends" and I certainly don't feel kind of awkward around them and finaly we don't make plans to talk at night.

 

Seriously you are letting yourself get dragged into a weird situatin with a girl you like who is dating a guy you used to be best friends with kindergarten through middle school....

 

How about just going back to nc and not answering the phone or going to meet her for a talk.... just avoid her. And ASK GIRLS OUT... don't get all obsessed with them before you've been dating... actualy never get obssesed but the point is you shouldn't be to emotionaly invested in a person untill you really get to know them.

Well I was excited because I thought she was into me for the longest time >_>

 

It was just awkward because neither of us expected it. I mean, even when like a week passed, that's the longest we haevn't talked since like March

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Well I was excited because I thought she was into me for the longest time >_>

 

It was just awkward because neither of us expected it. I mean, even when like a week passed, that's the longest we haevn't talked since like March

 

Stop trying to justify it. Look its not about a girl being into you... its about you being into a girl. Thats all you can control.

 

You need to stop comitting all this mental energy to this girl and whether her relationship is heading for disaster and whether u can be friends with her (u cant) and just move on and ASK GIRLS OUT, KISS THEM, and then once you have kissed a girl and been on dates with her and she likes you and you like her then focus on her... but till then you're just waisting ur mental energy on what ifs.

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Kain Highwind
Stop trying to justify it. Look its not about a girl being into you... its about you being into a girl. Thats all you can control.

 

You need to stop comitting all this mental energy to this girl and whether her relationship is heading for disaster and whether u can be friends with her (u cant) and just move on and ASK GIRLS OUT, KISS THEM, and then once you have kissed a girl and been on dates with her and she likes you and you like her then focus on her... but till then you're just waisting ur mental energy on what ifs.

I'm not focusing all my energy into her. There's nothing I can do. I won't try to get with her again. If it does happen, its gonna be her.

 

I will admit that I still do have feelings for her but as much as I hate it, I feel like they are going away

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I'm not focusing all my energy into her. There's nothing I can do. I won't try to get with her again. If it does happen, its gonna be her.

 

I will admit that I still do have feelings for her but as much as I hate it, I feel like they are going away

 

I know you have feelings for her with out the admiting of it. My point is with out NC they won't necesarily go away. Girls like real guys who arn't afraid to lose them instead of fake guys who are willing to settle for being friends and acting in a fake way just to be around them.

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Kain Highwind
I know you have feelings for her with out the admiting of it. My point is with out NC they won't necesarily go away. Girls like real guys who arn't afraid to lose them instead of fake guys who are willing to settle for being friends and acting in a fake way just to be around them.

I doubt I'll ever get with her (its possible but very unlikely) so I don't see why you're talking abuot girls liking real/fake guys

 

I'm trying to find other women, I just think that this friendship may be worth keeping. I mean, the feelings don't go away instantly but I'm sure they will. I mean, I'm not thinking about her as much as I used to

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