tigressA Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 (edited) Over the last 24 hours I've been bombarded with bat**** craziness. A friend of mine got engaged after being with his now-fiancee for little more than a year, and another friend has been going completely ballistic over the distance between herself and her BF, when they've been together only 4 months. Granted, their hookup was 7 years in the making. Then I read over OceanGirl's thread about low interest vs. slow starts, particularly EasyHeart's, Mme. Chaucer's and SG's posts, and it all hit me in the center of the eyes like a ton of bricks. I have been ridiculous. I have continually tried to force things to develop with C the way that I want them to, the way that I expect them to, rather than just enjoying the time we get and letting things develop naturally. We hardly know each other at all, even after several months. I realized this is why all my prior relationships kinda sucked--jumped onto the relationship bandwagon way too early, and discovered we weren't really compatible, or I didn't really like them much after all. We did the getting-to-know-you thing after we made each other boyfriend and girlfriend. Bad idea. I don't want the title now. I can't even see why I wanted it in the first place. It's become clear to me that both of us have yet to prove the other worthy of being boyfriend/girlfriend material. After my friend was done literally crying to me about how much it hurt being away from her BF, I thought, "I don't feel even a bit of what she is feeling now, about C, when we're away from each other." That's because we don't have much of a connection yet. I think back and can see and feel how utterly exhausting my prior behavior has been. I am so beyond ready to just go with the flow now and see what happens. Edited October 25, 2010 by tigressA
Crazy Magnet Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I got a peaceful............easyyyyyyyy feeeeeeeeeeeeeeelin' Good for you.
jerbear Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Excellent feeling isn't it?! I'm glad all is well.
daphne Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Good post. Maybe others will get the hint that it's not a race. Granted, if you've been doing races most of the time, slow and easy can feel like there's not as much chemistry. But if you have enough in common and are attracted, that stuff grows. Instead of fading away..
Author tigressA Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 This is really, really different--embracing this kind of patience and organic development. Never done it before. It's going to be frustrating at times, I think. But it will likely be successful. So here's to living in the present instead of pushing for the future.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Good for you. It's all about the journey, after all ... in ALL of life ... right?
OceanGirl Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Hey sexy You sound really reasonable here. Try to hold on to that clarity.
Author tigressA Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Thanks, gorgeous. It's funny; I've been talking to C on Skype for awhile now and suddenly HE'S the one thinking about things that have yet to happen. I'm just trying to get him to chill. Our conversations go so much better when I'm not doing anything but appreciating our time. He told me that our mutual friend, who he works with, has been having to work weekends and it's likely that C will have to as well, so he's picked a day during the week to drive up and stay with me whenever we can't get together on weekends.
Star Gazer Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 This is really, really different--embracing this kind of patience and organic development. Never done it before. It's going to be frustrating at times, I think. But it will likely be successful. So here's to living in the present instead of pushing for the future. I'm glad I was one of the people who helped you figure this out and get to this awesome, relaxed place. Pressure really can kill a relationship. Yours will thrive if you let the little seedling grow at it's own pace. Here's to "ah ha!" moments!
nice-easy-day Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Awesome! I'm in a new relationship now that is going slow and so far I'm happy:)
jerbear Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I'm glad I was one of the people who helped you figure this out and get to this awesome, relaxed place. Pressure really can kill a relationship. Yours will thrive if you let the little seedling grow at it's own pace. Here's to "ah ha!" moments! I think it is time to add some Miracle Grow to the little seeding. It is good to take the pressure off and just let it grow organically. :bunny:
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Over the last 24 hours I've been bombarded with bat**** craziness. A friend of mine got engaged after being with his now-fiancee for little more than a year, and another friend has been going completely ballistic over the distance between herself and her BF, when they've been together only 4 months. Yep, "bat**** crazy" was the very first thought on my mind upon reading those examples.
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