shy_guy Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 So after seeing a few of my close friends have really good experiences with online dating I decided to give it a go. I quickly put together a profile on a few online dating websites and started messaging people. I sent messages to about 30 people expecting to get only a handful of replies, but instead got NONE. I don't have the most detailed profile but think I sound good on paper (in my opinion heh). My friends and housemates are always trying to set me up with people which makes me think I'm not totally undesirable so think my pics are pretty decent... To those (guys especially) who use online dating - is this the typical experience? Is it just a numbers game and should I be messaging way more people? Maybe I should stick to offline dating haha I'm mid 20's btw.
brainygirl Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I'm not a guy, but I've been "online dating" for about two years now. I've met a few nice-ish people, but for the most part I feel like I am in a waste land of the uneducated and hygienically challenged. Try rework the profile, find a few profiles you really like and then compare them to yours. Maybe you need more details or to be less negative. I'm NOT saying to pretend to be someone other than you are, just to give a more complete picture of you.
daphne Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Shy, I don't think you're alone. I have known 2 guys that have had similar problems. One is not terribly attractive and socially awkward, so that explains one. The other is decent looking, but he doesn't put a lot of effort. Also, there is a lot of competition for women online, so they can't answer everyone. Guys will respond to profiles just for the photos and it can come across pretty insincere. That being said, I wouldn't necessarily randomly spam 200 women just to get one response. What I respond to is someone who actually has similarities in their profile and if I find them attractive, and who sends a brief email that mentions something about what I wrote in my profile. He seems genuine and not just a hound dog. No long email the first time, no form letters, no one liners. 3 sentences that are mentioning the profile in a positive way (i.e. don't put her down - believe it or not a lot of guys do this online.) I think that will help boost your responses.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 So after seeing a few of my close friends have really good experiences with online dating I decided to give it a go. I quickly put together a profile on a few online dating websites and started messaging people. I sent messages to about 30 people expecting to get only a handful of replies, but instead got NONE. I don't have the most detailed profile but think I sound good on paper (in my opinion heh). My friends and housemates are always trying to set me up with people which makes me think I'm not totally undesirable so think my pics are pretty decent... To those (guys especially) who use online dating - is this the typical experience? Is it just a numbers game and should I be messaging way more people? Maybe I should stick to offline dating haha I'm mid 20's btw. It's hard to comment about your profile without actually seeing it. Obviously you don't want to write War And Peace, but you should at least try and put yourself over in as best light as possible. The lack of responses you're getting is perfectly normal. It's just something that most men who use internet dating must get used to. Yes, I would definitely say it's a numbers game, and you need a thick skin.
Author shy_guy Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Thanks for the insight! I guess I need to put more work into a profile and to keep messaging more people
daphne Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 If you want me to take a look, pm me the profile. I promise I won't post it and I'll be gentle.
jerbear Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Try rework the profile, find a few profiles you really like and then compare them to yours. Maybe you need more details or to be less negative. I'm NOT saying to pretend to be someone other than you are, just to give a more complete picture of you. I'll add this. Ask a friend to critique your profile, from pictures to profile. Get more than one friend to do it. Ask female friends and if you have one gay friend.
Author shy_guy Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 That's a great suggestion jerbear thanks. And daphne, it'd be great if you could have a look at my profile but I can't seem to figure out how to send a private message... forgive my noobness
TouchedByViolet Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Unfortunately, for guys a big part of it is the numbers game. Post your profile for all of us, you will get a lot of suggestions from men and women that way.
RovingReporter Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 My goal in a first email is to make them laugh. You'll get way more responses that way. Find something in their profile and maybe tease them about it a little. I've talked to many females who all say the same thing, they get tons of emails consisting of "hey, whats up?" And for the love of god, if they don't respond THE second you send your email don't continue hounding them.
alexlakeman Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Online dating is terrible.. Shut your profile down, stay home, eat a lot, and volunteer time at the local adult nursing home, you'll get to fondle elderly ladies' tits..
zerovandez Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I've had pretty good success with online dating although I've recently closed and deleted my profiles. Be fun with your profile, I've attracted many women with it. I'm not the greatest looking guy on this earth but a sense of humor always seems to catch a wondering eye. By the way, I've closed my profile because I don't think I've really tried the real world approach to my best abilities just yet, not because I completely failed with online dating.
krz12 Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 That's a great suggestion jerbear thanks. And daphne, it'd be great if you could have a look at my profile but I can't seem to figure out how to send a private message... forgive my noobness I believe you need to be a paid member here to send PMs. I could really use some help, though, if that offer is wide open daphne. Here is mine.
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