EX gf contacts after 3 weeks NC, but now I have new GF

[lalalandman]

SO I dated my ex for about 4 years. We just got along so well and loved being in each others company, but never saw eye to eye. I wanted to be her bf, but never was. She always kept our relationship secret from her parents. Everything we did was always on her watch. She broke up with me every 6 months to play around, which she did. 5 guys I know of. Never liked to hang out at the house or hang out with mutual friends. Didn't ever sleep over. Anyways, she broke up with me, again, and said she would never feel right with herself if she didn't date other guys. I would constantly ask if she would marry me and she'd say no I never want to get married. When she lost the ability to have kids 8 months ago, alot changed about her attitude. Anyways, I was so fed up. We got in a fight, she kicked me out of her car, and so I was like screw this. I started a job the next Monday and met a girl there. She ended up resigning about a week later, but we contacted each other, and went on an amazing date. That led to another date, and another, and I met her parents. We held hands in front of them, which felt so natural. Nowwwwwwww 4 weeks later, she's moving in. And I don't know why it feels so right. And her mom likes me alot.

 

So my ex started calling off the hook 3 weeks after our fight, which was about 2 weeks into the relationship with my new gf. My ex even came to my house unexpected and my roomie stopped her from coming in. My new gf was over at the time (she was asleep). I had to walk my ex back to her car and tell her to leave. She said she missed me so much, and I said "it's always the same thing. You leave, come back and say you miss me, and start **** with me and then it starts all over again". I don't understand it, she says she needs to date other people but starts calling off the hook 3 weeks later. She tried calling me alot more after the night she came over but then gave up calling about 3 days ago - said there's no point calling because we'd just fight again and said she hopes I feel better (I was sick). I feel a little bad cause when she came over I told her to go home and I'd call her the next day, but never did.

 

Anyways, my new gf is amazing. She does everything my ex didn't. She freakin cooks for me, so wow. I mean, she's incredible. I don't really know what my question is. I guess, am I moving on too fast? Is this a classic case of rebound? I want to call my ex to explain, but I basically ignored her calls for a week straight and sent her away when she showed up. And now can't pick up the phone to call her. Can I expect her to call me more or is she pretty much done? I'm not sure if she expects I'm with this new girl, but I'm confused on whether or not I should call to explain. Honestly, there's still a part of me that doesn't want to lose her.

 

My new gf is moved in and it's pretty sweet. But I just need some advice or words of encouragement or something. thanks

Edited October 24, 2010 by lalalandman

[tinktronik]

My advice is stick with your new gf. Block your ex's contact and have 0 contact with her or else you'll ruin your new relationship.

[lalalandman]

thanks for the replies thus far. Coist, I met my new gf a week after I stopped talking to my ex. I never cheated on my ex. In fact, I was never her bf because she had a problem with commitment, but still never went around her back with anyone. She however, hooked up with about 4 guys that I know if in our 4 year term. Cheating is not the issue on my side.

 

Thanks tinktronik. I appreciate your advice and I inherently feel the same way. All my friends tell me if there's one thing that can ruin this, it's my ex.

[tinktronik]

thanks for the replies thus far. Coist, I met my new gf a week after I stopped talking to my ex. I never cheated on my ex. In fact, I was never her bf because she had a problem with commitment, but still never went around her back with anyone. She however, hooked up with about 4 guys that I know if in our 4 year term. Cheating is not the issue on my side.

 

Thanks tinktronik. I appreciate your advice and I inherently feel the same way. All my friends tell me if there's one thing that can ruin this, it's my ex.

 

Your welcome. It does not sound too much like you rushed in as it sounds as if you did not have an actual relationship with this ex, more like a long drawn out FWB situation. So just enjoy this new thing for what it is and stay as far from the disaster game player ex as possible.

[livelife]

SO I dated my ex for about 4 years. We just got along so well and loved being in each others company, but never saw eye to eye. I wanted to be her bf, but never was. She always kept our relationship secret from her parents. Everything we did was always on her watch. She broke up with me every 6 months to play around, which she did. 5 guys I know of. Never liked to hang out at the house or hang out with mutual friends. Didn't ever sleep over. Anyways, she broke up with me, again, and said she would never feel right with herself if she didn't date other guys. I would constantly ask if she would marry me and she'd say no I never want to get married. When she lost the ability to have kids 8 months ago, alot changed about her attitude. Anyways, I was so fed up. We got in a fight, she kicked me out of her car, and so I was like screw this. I started a job the next Monday and met a girl there. She ended up resigning about a week later, but we contacted each other, and went on an amazing date. That led to another date, and another, and I met her parents. We held hands in front of them, which felt so natural. Nowwwwwwww 4 weeks later, she's moving in. And I don't know why it feels so right. And her mom likes me alot.

 

So my ex started calling off the hook 3 weeks after our fight, which was about 2 weeks into the relationship with my new gf. My ex even came to my house unexpected and my roomie stopped her from coming in. My new gf was over at the time (she was asleep). I had to walk my ex back to her car and tell her to leave. She said she missed me so much, and I said "it's always the same thing. You leave, come back and say you miss me, and start **** with me and then it starts all over again". I don't understand it, she says she needs to date other people but starts calling off the hook 3 weeks later. She tried calling me alot more after the night she came over but then gave up calling about 3 days ago - said there's no point calling because we'd just fight again and said she hopes I feel better (I was sick). I feel a little bad cause when she came over I told her to go home and I'd call her the next day, but never did.

 

Anyways, my new gf is amazing. She does everything my ex didn't. She freakin cooks for me, so wow. I mean, she's incredible. I don't really know what my question is. I guess, am I moving on too fast? Is this a classic case of rebound? I want to call my ex to explain, but I basically ignored her calls for a week straight and sent her away when she showed up. And now can't pick up the phone to call her. Can I expect her to call me more or is she pretty much done? I'm not sure if she expects I'm with this new girl, but I'm confused on whether or not I should call to explain. Honestly, there's still a part of me that doesn't want to lose her.

 

My new gf is moved in and it's pretty sweet. But I just need some advice or words of encouragement or something. thanks

 

Your ex wanted you to chase her, she got a thrill of fighting, I guess it sparked up the relationship and made her feel closer to you. Makes no sense, but whatever! I'm a girl, I know haha Anyways, so this time you didn't chase her, thats why she came back. Its not a rebound if you don't want your ex back! Im glad your with this girl ,she sounds awesome stay with her!! TEAM NEW GIRLFRIEND. haha:P

[livelife]

Then again, it makes me wonder. Do you think its the thrill of having a new girlfriend? What I mean is: well, lets take a portion of my situation.. my ex was just wanting to be with me, but not have the strings of a relationship, so i said no and we couldnt be friends. That night, that very night I said that, he went out and met this girl, A week later: Dating. 5 days later: saying I LOVE YOU. (they are broken up now, he realized she was totally crazy and he even told me he never really loved her? what? What i'm trying to say is are you trying to make your ex jealous in any way? or do you really like this new girl?...honestly really like her. Not just you think you do, your confusing the excitement of being able do to things with her openly with liking her?

[lalalandman]

No I really do like her alot. My ex isn't calling anymore so either her ego is shot or she just didn't really care. Then again it's only been 4 or 5 days. But my gf is completely perfect and we love each other. But I haven't told my ex about this and honestly I don't see the need to do so. I mean, I feel like my ex is hardheaded and really quite foolish to have taken me for granted and not taken our relationship, or lack of it, seriously. I literally sit and think "god she's really retarded". But that's her loss. And I'm feeling like this NOW because my current gf always asks me "how could anyone ever give YOU up?" She's just so amazing. I really think I'm still in shock as to why my gf thinks of me as the most special thing when all these years I felt second or third rate with my ex. I feel like I really love this girl but there's still a part of me that feels like "wow I can't be THAT great" because that's how I felt for 4 years with my last relationship.

 

Anyways, I come home today and my gf cleaned the house. We went to a home store and bought home decor. She freaking gave me a 20 min back massage this morning when i woke up. I'm seriously in awe. She likes staying up on weekday nights to play video games and watch movies in bed. I feel like this is so right, but I'm just like, how? And so fast. I guess I'm nervous still.

 

She says that she thinks one day I'm going to wake up and just, feel differently or not want to be with her, and I tell her I feel the exact same way about her. So, is this too good to be true? Or do I need to just let go of the past and realize this is what I've been waiting for.