tennis41 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Gone on 4 dates with a girl and 5th already planned and agreed to. Dates seem to have gone well: good convo, she seems to be having fun, she agreed to more dates, etc. During the week we talk or email everyday, talking about our days and sharing intimate things about ourselves. Two things jump out at me. Her reluctance to display any type of physical affection and the fact that she cant seem to admit publically that we've been dating. For example, a common friend of ours asked her in front of me what she did this weekend and she didnt mention our date. Our common friend knew we had been dating cause i had told this friend previously. So our friend asked again if we did anything else fun this weekend and she just sat in silence basically and i had to jump in and say we went to dinner, etc. When it comes to physical affection, even a hug doesnt seem natural right now. I try to do little things like touch her gently on hand or shoulder, make eye contact, etc. She never does any of this back. Are these just signs of shyness, nervousness, not feeling truly comfortable with me just yet? Or is the case that she just isnt into me? Her friends tell me she has very little dating experience, so it could be that? What can i do to make her feel more comfortable and relaxed?
Feelin Frisky Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 After 5 dates I should think it's ok to have a talk with her. If you do, try to be gentle and take the tack that maybe she'll break the ice physically with you right then. In other words, don't be contentious at all because it might just be that she IS inexperienced and self-conscious--even if you might be getting past the wtf? point. But don't let her off the hook and evade you--you're investing your time, emotions and resources in her company and you deserve to find out if you're being used with no intents of emotional investment in you or what.
daphne Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I would be patient with her and give it a little more time. She probably doesn't know how to behave, and if you can't read women that well you might mistake it for lack of interest. How old are the two of you by the way? At some point you are going to need to take the temperature if it's not getting above lukewarm. You might need a glass of wine for that though. Do you guys get flirty with each other? If not, start working on that. The favorite stand by is making a joke, look her in the eyes and smile big.
BlackLovely Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I think that her inexperience might contribute to her shyness. It could also be that she's concerned that you might change after she allows herself to get physical. When I was single, I met men that didn't treat me well after they got in my pants. It made me very wary of letting anyone close; no woman likes to feel used. I learned to distinguish between those who wanted to know me and those who were just horndogs on the make. I would refrain from discussing physical contact. It might scare her away. I kept dating my now husband, because he was such a gentleman.His restraint and quiet passion made me want to rip HIS clothes off, not to mention all the romantic courting.
daphne Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 His restraint and quiet passion made me want to rip HIS clothes off, not to mention all the romantic courting. Yup. There's something really hot about a guy who has self restraint.
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