snelson989 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 My best friend and his girlfriend have just split up, they hadn't seen each other in 3 weeks and it came out he was hitting her. Now I won't even be in the same room as him even though I've known him 12 years, but I would do that regardless of the woman he hit, I just don't want to associate with someone who'd do a thing like that. The problem anyway is she just visited me at uni she stayed for the weekend, we didn't tell him about it as it would just escalate the situation. Nothing happened between us because I was too scared to make a move, but I realised how strong my feelings are for her. I don't know if she feels the same. It makes me feel sick the thought of them getting back together as she should never have been treated the way she was by him. I don't know if I should tell her how I feel as I might risk the friendship with her and that means a lot?
spice4life Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 My best friend and his girlfriend have just split up, they hadn't seen each other in 3 weeks and it came out he was hitting her. Now I won't even be in the same room as him even though I've known him 12 years, but I would do that regardless of the woman he hit, I just don't want to associate with someone who'd do a thing like that. The problem anyway is she just visited me at uni she stayed for the weekend, we didn't tell him about it as it would just escalate the situation. Nothing happened between us because I was too scared to make a move, but I realised how strong my feelings are for her. I don't know if she feels the same. It makes me feel sick the thought of them getting back together as she should never have been treated the way she was by him. I don't know if I should tell her how I feel as I might risk the friendship with her and that means a lot? Gosh, so sorry to hear about what your friend went through. You sound like a great friend and that's probably what she needs right now more than anything else in the world. I'm not sure how to answer the "whether or not you should tell her how you feel" question, so maybe someone else here can give you the proper advice. How long has she been in a relationship with this guy? I guess it doesn't really matter how long, she should seek some counseling to find out why she ended up with him in the first place. Not only would it be good for her, it will be good for you if you end up involved with her. You don't want the issues that got her into that relationship to permeate a possible one with you. That's my 2 cents. Hopefully someone else has advice to help you out as well. Good luck!
lkjh Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Gosh, so sorry to hear about what your friend went through. You sound like a great friend and that's probably what she needs right now more than anything else in the world. I'm not sure how to answer the "whether or not you should tell her how you feel" question, so maybe someone else here can give you the proper advice. How long has she been in a relationship with this guy? I guess it doesn't really matter how long, she should seek some counseling to find out why she ended up with him in the first place. Not only would it be good for her, it will be good for you if you end up involved with her. You don't want the issues that got her into that relationship to permeate a possible one with you. That's my 2 cents. Hopefully someone else has advice to help you out as well. Good luck! If I read it correctly his best friend is the guy and he is going after his friends gf OP don't be a fool. The girl broke up with your friend(or he broke up with her) and immediately she goes to "visit his friend(you)". You are thinking with your small head. She is playing with fire because she wants to get back at him and you are the tool(in more ways than one) that she is using to accomplish this goal. You are setting your self up for some major drama. Stay away from both them. Also don't be that jacka** that goes after your friends ex's. You will be forever labeled that way
spice4life Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 If I read it correctly his best friend is the guy and he is going after his friends gf OP don't be a fool. The girl broke up with your friend(or he broke up with her) and immediately she goes to "visit his friend(you)". You are thinking with your small head. She is playing with fire because she wants to get back at him and you are the tool(in more ways than one) that she is using to accomplish this goal. You are setting your self up for some major drama. Stay away from both them. Also don't be that jacka** that goes after your friends ex's. You will be forever labeled that way I was responding to the bit about abuse. It didn't even cross my mind that someone could be using that as an excuse to manipulate someone. I see your point though and being an optimist, I certainly hope that's not the case.
Green Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 My best friend and his girlfriend have just split up, they hadn't seen each other in 3 weeks and it came out he was hitting her. Now I won't even be in the same room as him even though I've known him 12 years, but I would do that regardless of the woman he hit, I just don't want to associate with someone who'd do a thing like that. The problem anyway is she just visited me at uni she stayed for the weekend, we didn't tell him about it as it would just escalate the situation. Nothing happened between us because I was too scared to make a move, but I realised how strong my feelings are for her. I don't know if she feels the same. It makes me feel sick the thought of them getting back together as she should never have been treated the way she was by him. I don't know if I should tell her how I feel as I might risk the friendship with her and that means a lot? So how did it come out that he was hitting her? Because if she is the one who said it you might want to talk to your best friend about it. I also don't think it would be that cool or kind for you to start dating your best friends gf even if you don't want to talk to him anymore because he is hitting women. Seriously you'd be best to just find another girl.
Author snelson989 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 I just want to clarify, it became apparent he had been hitting her a few onths ago, when she came out with a black eye and he eventually admitted what he'd done. I am sure that, it at least happened, however I do feel like I may well be being used.
Green Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I just want to clarify, it became apparent he had been hitting her a few onths ago, when she came out with a black eye and he eventually admitted what he'd done. I am sure that, it at least happened, however I do feel like I may well be being used. You can't save her. Really she should call the cops on the guy. As for you I would feel the same way, I wouldn't want to be friends with some one who attacks women if thats what I believed was going on. Also I wouldn't want to be the type of guy who started relationships with former best friends gf's regaurdless of how the relationship ended. If you really have feelings for this girl you will probably start a relationship with this girl regaurdless of the potential drama.
stillafool Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Let her be! First off, HE is your best friend, not her. If she accused him of domestic violence then you need to take that up with him. Not spend the weekend with YOUR BEST FRIEND'S GIRL. You are totally in the wrong by doing this. She is skanky for coming to you for a weekend, knowing you are HIS best friend instead of going to her friends or family for help. She sounds needy as hell and you should have sent her packing. If you do take up with her expect KARMA to come down on you like a black cloud.
stillafool Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I just want to clarify, it became apparent he had been hitting her a few onths ago, when she came out with a black eye and he eventually admitted what he'd done. I am sure that, it at least happened, however I do feel like I may well be being used. Did you talk to him about it? Did you tell him he needs help? Even if he has done all of the above that is no excuse for you to fall for his girl. Why does she keep going back if he has already blackened her eye?
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