Ilsa Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 It's been almost four months since my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. We were together for six years and lived together for almost four years. Last Christmas he broke up with me and I moved out of the house but then we were together again but I keep leaving in my new apartment because I wanted to take things slowly. Well he broke up with me and even though I wasn't happy with his decision I accepted it. For the last months we were together he started to distance himself from me, he didn't want to spent a lot of time with me because he said we would start to fight, he didn't want to share stuff with me, I just think that he was preparing me for the break up. When he broke up with me, I decided to go NC because it was the only way for me to cope with this and get over it. Like a week after we broke up he started to send me e-mails of stuff he saw on the Internet that I liked, music videos that I might like, messages about what he's been up to, about his new job (that I got him), about places he went I thought he was going to see me, about how he wishes that I could reply his messages. I didn't reply at any of his messages because he's just acting like anything wrong happen. He hasn't apologize for his cheating (he doesn't accept that he cheated on me even though I found e-mails and Facebook messages of him and a co-worker saying nasty things and of feelings they share) and I don't think that he should have my friendship and still go out there and do whatever he wants. I'm really hurt because we share a lot of things together, we thought we were soulmates and everyone around us thinks that. After all I think I'm handle it quite well because I have been focusing on work, on school (I'm enrolling next year in a Ph.D program in another state), and even though I don't have lots of friends I just try to hang with them when they can. But suddenly today I realize I miss him, I think I have been okay because he writes me e-mails every week and this past week he didn't. And even though i don't reply to any of his messages and think it makes me feel good that he is thinking of me, but it also makes me think why he writes me all those things when he was the one who broke up with me? Why he keeps writing me when my brother told him that I'm not going to reply at his messages? Why he sent me a couples of weeks ago my favorite t-shirt of his with his perfume on the date that should have been our anniversary? What does he want from me when he clearly decided to hang out with other people, wanted to be alone, and didn't want to be with me?
GrayClouds Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Likely he wants to keep you on the hook in case his great new life does not turn out to be all the thought it was or he is simply trying to have you around for a few hook ups. Either case he is being hurtful to you. Stop reading the emails, and any other connection you have. They are having there intend purpose, keeping you connected to this idiot. Keep focus on what matters: your future and your goals. Try to do some new things like a dance class, yoga class or join a group at meetup.com to get around some people. Start working out a bit it will help a great deal. It will take some time to move on so be kind to yourself but understand his behavior towards you now shows he is not a person of quality and you deserve someone who is quality.
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