spiegel27 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Hey everyone, I got this girls number recently, called her up and we went on our first date this past friday. Had an amazing time, shared a lot of things in common and had great chemistry. Near the end of the 1st date we talked about watching old movies for a possible 2nd date idea. So I dropped her off and she gave me a big hug and I kissed her on the cheek told her I had a great night. I messaged her the next day to tell her that last night I had a great time and tuesday if she is free we should get together and watch a movie. She said yeah last night was fun, ill let you know my schedule and let you know. I just said sounds good. Now should I leave her alone for the next 2 days and see if she reaches out and contacts me at all? I am curious if I do that if she will wonder why I haven't messaged her and maybe text or call me on her own which would be a good thing. What do you all think? If Tuesday morning comes around and she hasn't messaged me is it ok to say "hey was just seeing if you wanted to watch a movie or do something tonight?" The last thing I want to come off as is needy or like she is the only thing in my life.
USMCHokie Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I messaged her the next day to tell her that last night I had a great time and tuesday if she is free we should get together and watch a movie. She said yeah last night was fun, ill let you know my schedule and let you know. I just said sounds good. Don't ask a girl out on a date via text message. But yes, the ball is in her court. Now should I leave her alone for the next 2 days and see if she reaches out and contacts me at all? Yes. I am curious if I do that if she will wonder why I haven't messaged her and maybe text or call me on her own which would be a good thing. What do you all think? If she is interested in seeing you again, she will contact you about her schedule. If Tuesday morning comes around and she hasn't messaged me is it ok to say "hey was just seeing if you wanted to watch a movie or do something tonight?" The last thing I want to come off as is needy or like she is the only thing in my life. LAUNCH.
jerbear Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Hey everyone, I got this girls number recently, called her up and we went on our first date this past friday. Had an amazing time, shared a lot of things in common and had great chemistry. Near the end of the 1st date we talked about watching old movies for a possible 2nd date idea. So I dropped her off and she gave me a big hug and I kissed her on the cheek told her I had a great night. I messaged her the next day to tell her that last night I had a great time and tuesday if she is free we should get together and watch a movie. She said yeah last night was fun, ill let you know my schedule and let you know. I just said sounds good. Save the texting for a later time. Scheduling a 2nd date over text is just nah. Call and go from there. Text if you're late or whatever but not for setting up a date. Now should I leave her alone for the next 2 days and see if she reaches out and contacts me at all? I am curious if I do that if she will wonder why I haven't messaged her and maybe text or call me on her own which would be a good thing. What do you all think? Yes. Let her contact you. If Tuesday morning comes around and she hasn't messaged me is it ok to say "hey was just seeing if you wanted to watch a movie or do something tonight?" The last thing I want to come off as is needy or like she is the only thing in my life. Sounds like a good idea but only one call. Don't text.
Idalis Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 There are some things texting is acceptable for. 2nd date invites is NOT one of them (and really scheduling anything period but thats another story) now you have no idea what her tone was when she replied. Even if you dont know her that well its a lot easier to pick up cue's from someones voice vs. someone's text reply. I think the ball is in her court about Tuesday. Maybe call her to set something up for later on in the week, and see how she responds.
BobSacamento Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 If you are going to text her don't text her to ask her out. Text her and TELL (there is no ask) her when you are going to call her to set something up.
Author spiegel27 Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Thanks to everyone who posted, just wanted to add something that all of you seem to say texting to ask her out on a date now that I think about it, yes was a bad idea. I will make sure I don't do that in the future BUT, does that or will that mess up the chances? I know she works all day and has two jobs so I figured texting her would be easier. Also the first time I called her to ask her on a date she ended up just texting me and we set up the first date over texting. Thats why I figured the 2nd date, since she would probably just text me back instead of calling me back that it wasn't a big deal to say "tuesday if your free we should watch a movie like we said." Now should I still play it where no contact until she contacts me like she said? Then come tuesday afternoon CALL her and see if she wants to do something? I called her the night before our first date and left a message and she ended up texting me friday morning super early saying she got home late and didn't want to wake me but still wants to do something. What do you all think? How should I play THIS situation as far as setting up date number 2?
Star Gazer Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 If Tuesday morning comes around and she hasn't messaged me is it ok to say "hey was just seeing if you wanted to watch a movie or do something tonight?" The last thing I want to come off as is needy or like she is the only thing in my life. Leave her alone for now. Go ahead and touch base with her Tuesday morning; you won't come across as needy at all, so long as you don't contact her before then.
jerbear Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 After the 2nd date and for future dates, I suggest that you tell her, she can call you anytime. Take a risk and just put yourself out there. You're opening the door so she'll call early in the morning if she wants to and not have to worry about waking you up.
Author spiegel27 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 (edited) Hey guys, so I played it smooth haven't said anything but last I spoke with this girl was saturday morning about watching a movie tuesday night and like I write previously she said "she will let me know her schedule and let me know." So okay the weekend goes by and this morning I felt like I should just ask how her weekend was, something very simple, very sweet text but the convo went as far as my sent text. I just texted "hey beautiful, how are you doing? =)" now I have not gotten a response the entire day since 9am this morning. I noticed her status got changed on blackberry bbm to "horrible" thats what her status said. So i'm thinking maybe something bad happened okay benefit of the doubt but she is suppose to be letting me know about tomorrow night if we are getting together but yet she can't even respond to a simple how are you doing text? How should I play this? Text/call her again tomorrow? or absolutely not give her anything until she responds if she does...??? Am I dealing with a future drama queen here (keep in mind she is 20 years old) BUT she didn't give that impression at all on our first date I really just do not get it.. Edited October 25, 2010 by spiegel27
jerbear Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 I'm the persistent type. I would just call tonight and if she does not answer or it just rings; let it be. If you want leave a voicemail asking about tomorrow and that for her to call you back. Now if she does not return the call, let her go, move on and just let it be. That BBM message is just not a good sign for you.
Star Gazer Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Hey guys, so I played it smooth haven't said anything but last I spoke with this girl was saturday morning about watching a movie tuesday night and like I write previously she said "she will let me know her schedule and let me know." So okay the weekend goes by and this morning I felt like I should just ask how her weekend was, something very simple, very sweet text but the convo went as far as my sent text. I just texted "hey beautiful, how are you doing? =)" now I have not gotten a response the entire day since 9am this morning. I noticed her status got changed on blackberry bbm to "horrible" thats what her status said. So i'm thinking maybe something bad happened okay benefit of the doubt but she is suppose to be letting me know about tomorrow night if we are getting together but yet she can't even respond to a simple how are you doing text? How should I play this? We all told you to either not contact her before Tuesday or wait for her to contact you. You ignored that advice and sent her a silly text. Leave her alone. DO NOT text or call her again. If the ball wasn't in her court before, it certainly is now.
Author spiegel27 Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 Stargazer straight up I agree with you, but I just felt that the first date went so well that maybe the girl would appreciate a little hey how was your weekend text, I was not even going to mention getting together. I hate these games of waiting certain days, and certain times but since I texted her and didn't get a response back your thinking the opportunity is shot? Woman tell me to text her she will like it, men tell me don't so I never know what to do. You have blunt advice I dig it. Give it to me hard one last time what needs to be done please? And please explain why if you could why not texting her is a good thing? please
welikeincrowds Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 I hate these games of waiting certain days, and certain times That's not what it's about. It's about giving her respect, the good faith that she will act on her word. I would actually say that what you were doing by texting her is more of a game, in that you're trying to butter her up out of an insecurity that she won't go on the second date. What you should have done instead is remained confident that she will, with the appreciation that if she doesn't, it was for the better anyway. So do what SG already told you to do and let it go. If she doesn't get back to you first, call her tomorrow at an appropriate time to confirm the date, make plans, etc. If she doesn't pick up or reply, then that's that. By the way, I highly doubt your text today really mattered much. If there's a lesson here as to "why not to text", the most practical one is so that you don't pull your hair out wondering "why!?!?" in the event that she doesn't respond. I think someone else told you that there are a million possible reasons for that, and 999,999 don't have anything to do with you. But if you had never sent it in the first place, you wouldn't have put yourself through that agony, right?
Author spiegel27 Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 I understand I should of left mystery after the first date by not contacting her the next day and having her think to herself (does he like me? etc.) When I noticed she put her status as "horrible" I realized today that she put that status up sunday night, before I messaged her monday morning to see how her weekend was. Still why wouldn't she respond to my test simply asking how her weekend went? I need to be more of a challenge which I understand, but is this situation still Salvageable?? We are suppose to be getting together tonight (which since yesterday morning she hasn't responded) so I doubt she will to let me know about tonight. If I let a day or two go by and call to plan something do you think I have another shot again?
jerbear Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 Since she didn't call you back or respond to your text. That is your answer to MOVE ON and LEAVE HER ALONE.
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