pureinheart Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Right and be rude while you're at it and not respond to someone that quoted you. I get the drill.... Time to remove this site out of my bookmarks. So long! Ahhh Mimo, Silly didn't mean it, there have been some really intense threads lately, one in which this same topic was being brought up (the dead thread thing). For me, and I think I can speak for Silly, having both upbeat personalities, negativity and fighting (not debating) has a tendancy to get to me after a short time...some are cool with it and can handle it all of the time, but I start to get uncomfortable and need to disappear and create more positive things in my life. Let's just say it's been strained lately...forgive us?
pureinheart Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I quoted the post to make a statement based on it. I decided to also include the observation in the tail of that post. So, the post I quoted had NOTHING to do with my observation. Do understand that I said its an observation that I made over time. Not some snap judgment that I made. And definitely nothing to do with a statement about spitting on the ground. So again, don't get hung up on the actual post that I quoted in responding to the answer that adultery wasn't against the law because those laws aren't enforced often. That has nothing to do with the observation. I'm not trying to argue with you. I made an observation and told you about it. I will drop this on this forum and we can take it to PM if you like. And I am not interested in offending you, so I apologize if I have. Same here NID:)
Spark1111 Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I think this is so true. During the affair the BW is horribly deceived, gaslighted and outright lied to. Once she discovers the affair, then the MM and OW actually expect her to protect them from suffering any negative consequences. This is amazing to me. It's almost like the MM/OW expect the BW to become an accomplice to thier affair. If the BW doesn't do everything in her power to make it easy on the affair partners, she gets called bitter, controlling and manipulative. It's mindboggling. Great point A35! It just goes to show how minimized the BS has been during the affair and inconsequential their pain is upon discovery of the affair. Becoming a "non-entity" in the minds of both the MP and OW/OM seems to be a paramount ingredient FOR the affair, or becoming the ogre as portrayed by a MP to their AP. I, personally was shocked by this atitude at DDay! My H forgot who he married because maybe he needed to in order to continue the affair. First words out of his mouth? Please don't tell anyone, as if I owed them continued secrecy. Second words: "I expected to get a little beat up for this, but nothing like this reaction." Hahahaha! They were angry AT ME! For causing a scene, throwing him out, telling the world. Truly delusional. That's why affairs thrive in secrecy; not a living soul to judge your actions until it has been exposed to the light of day! Not so much fun after that....
worlybear Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I've completely lost the plot with this thread. What was it about?
dreamingoftigers Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 Great point A35! It just goes to show how minimized the BS has been during the affair and inconsequential their pain is upon discovery of the affair. Becoming a "non-entity" in the minds of both the MP and OW/OM seems to be a paramount ingredient FOR the affair, or becoming the ogre as portrayed by a MP to their AP. I, personally was shocked by this atitude at DDay! My H forgot who he married because maybe he needed to in order to continue the affair. First words out of his mouth? Please don't tell anyone, as if I owed them continued secrecy. Second words: "I expected to get a little beat up for this, but nothing like this reaction." Hahahaha! They were angry AT ME! For causing a scene, throwing him out, telling the world. Truly delusional. That's why affairs thrive in secrecy; not a living soul to judge your actions until it has been exposed to the light of day! Not so much fun after that.... I never get how adults who have been in the world as long as or longer than I have fail to see how relationship fail because of this and they get very very messy. How do they miss seeing the pain that infidelity causes when there are countless examples of the damage this has caused? What makes MM/MW think that they are so special that they won't reap the results of their actions?
desertIslandCactus Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I've completely lost the plot with this thread. What was it about? A discussion of who owns responsibility when MM runs away from home. And how much his family are allowed to hurt, or look the other way. And who is accountable for reactions of the adult children.
desertIslandCactus Posted November 2, 2010 Posted November 2, 2010 I never get how adults who have been in the world as long as or longer than I have fail to see how relationship fail because of this and they get very very messy. How do they miss seeing the pain that infidelity causes when there are countless examples of the damage this has caused? What makes MM/MW think that they are so special that they won't reap the results of their actions?[/QUOTE] Lack of personal accountability.. i.e. to blame others, to feel their so-called 'love' supercedes all righteousness.
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