Drewy1888 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 (edited) I just want to say thank you for hearing me out before I begin. My story is extremely long but I'm going to shorten it up for you guys. I'm a 20 year old boy. I'm in my third year of college. I'm very attractive and usually have no problem with my confidence when it comes to girls. But lately I haven't really been myself. I feel very depressed and alone. I was always a good looking kid but I was more interested in sports all through high school so I didn't really have any serious relationships. About 2 years ago I met this girl. We had fights here and there but I was pretty happy. She lived in southern CT and I live in MA (we would spend weekends at a time together so it was basically like we were living together). So it was a little difficult to see eachother since it was kind of long distance. But we would spend a lot time together on the weekends. I would mostly go down there becaue she lives in a city and it was good to get out and have some fun away from the boring little town I live in. We were in love and we lost our virginity to eachother (when I was 18). We broke up about 6 months ago. She was extremely busy and she didn't know what she wanted. She spent a lot of time with friends and wanted to be single. I was extremely hurt. We even began to hang out about a month after and we still hooked up. But she wouldn't text me like she used to. And we all know (to the guys) that if you give girls a little power they feel like they have control over you. So she was treating me like dirt and I was an idiot and kept going to see her. I finally reached my breaking point and told her I didn't want to see her anymore and that it hurt me too much. When we were talking I felt so betrayed that I couldn't look at her the same way. So we stopped talking for about 2 months. I met another girl on vacation and we had a little thing going. Out of the clear blue my ex texted me telling me she missed me and stuff. I felt like I was 100 percent over her so I told her I wouldn't mind being friends. When she found out that I was talking to someone else she completely lost it and told me how it was the biggest mistake of her life not being with me and how I was her everything (and that she still loves me so much.) I didn't take her back because I was so hurt and I had feelings for someone else. Me and the other girl kind of stopped talking so I began talking to her again. We even hung out a few times but I felt like I didn't want to be with her because I still couldn't look at her the same way. She changed a lot. She found a new boyfriend, because I wouldn't take her back and it was an obvious rebound. It was hard to think about your first love finding someone else but I felt like I did the right thing. So I let it go even though I was a little hurt. She started saying things behind my back to some of my friends and even had her new bf talking crap to me because I talked to one of her friends. She cursed me out and everyone ganged up on me from where she lived. So I cut off all contact with all of them for my own sanity. After a month she texted me to see how I was doing and that she "still cared about me." (this was like 4 days ago)I heard that you will always have feelings deep down for your first love so I'm guessing this is why we will always think about eachother. I feel like I did the right thing not texting her back after all the things she said to me. I know I can do a lot better. But I feel very alone. I'm back at home and all my friends are away to college. I've been trying to find a girl that I can chill with. I've been making a few new friends at my new college (I just transferred) and have been working out but I still feel like I'm alone. I put way too many eggs in one basket with my ex. I made so many friends down where she lived that I don't talk to anymore and I miss the city (her family felt like real family to me). Idk what to do. I feel very depressed. I know the right girl will come along so Idk why I feel so down on myself. If you read this far I want to thank you and I hope someone can help me. Edited October 24, 2010 by Drewy1888
Author Drewy1888 Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Even if no one has gone through this. I feels better putting it all out.
Surrealist Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I had a cursory read of your post and get the gist of it. Try to enjoy life mate, whether single or otherwise. Learn to feel happy with yourself in your own skin. This will only increase your chances anyway and once your in a relationship, being happy with yourself and having a life with enjoyable activities and so on will help build a stronger relationship. I'm being very general here as a lot of other variables go into making a relationship work but the message here is just enjoy life with what you have. If the depression continues though, it may be worth investigating it with you doctor.
Seamless74 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Yeah i concur with Surrealist... I mean its a long post but cursory glance is all one needs because weve all been there... First thing you have to know is that this experience should be a HUGE learning experience because it will happen again... Well done not answering the text yet, I know it probably hasnt been easy.. Anytime you break up bro theres gonna be that time that the ex tries to reestablish contact youd be suprised how long the whole process can take. What you have to do is trust yourself and realize that you made the decision to break it off for a reason and dont take the cheese and fall for her weakneed attempt to do whatever.. And as to the pain its totally natural. Relationships are kinda like a drug there is a physical addiction to the other person (no matter how bad teh realtionship) and you will suffer withdrawals. But your on the right track bro.. Hang in there lose some sleep and some appetitie for awhile "this too shall pass" and from here on out youll be wiser for the time and understand how the whole break up process works and to never put all your "eggs in one basket again"
Div Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 My story is very similar to yours, and I'm going through much of the same feelings as well. And im 20yrs old too I think you just need to spend time improving the quality of your life. Fill up your calendar with new and exciting things to do and create a new reality. That's what im trying to do. My biggest problem at the moment is moving on from the first love. It takes a long, long time. I can't bare to think of her moving onto someone else, but I know we will never be right for each other. Feel free to send me a PM with your email or IM. I think we both have a lot in common and may benefit from discussing our issues.
Author Drewy1888 Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 (edited) I just want to thank you guys for reading my post. I always give good realtionship advice because I did learn A LOT from having my first love. But sometimes taking your own advice is the hardest thing to do. My aim is indypride8818. I'm not on too often but when I am we could definetely talk. Thanks again guys. Edited October 24, 2010 by Drewy1888
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