HalfStepDown Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Ok... so it's been one solid week with NC.... I'm up, I'm down, I'm all around... I'm down right now. This was a three year relationship with a Narcissistic female the sucked me dry of everything.... however, I do miss her. Yes it was very wrong and bad etc... but I guess just that we were actually together for three years I miss it... buy why? I wonder what she's doing, where she is etc... hope she's ok and doing well. wonder if she hates me now. I wonder if she still thinks of me. I wonder if she's met and/or been out with someone else... I wonder if she's mad at me or is accepting of the decision I made to cut it off. Again, today is one solid week of No contact and it's very strange. I do well at times, but then other times I'm a mess. I think it's just the "comfort" that I miss... who knows. After three years it's just wierd. How long does this last, what can I do... what should I do? What should I NOT do? There ARE times when I will catch my self feeling and being "genuinely" happy and having fun when I realize I have not felt that in a VERY long time. I try to capture that and save it!! But then I find myself back here again...down. Advice??
Don Ho Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Again, today is one solid week of No contact and it's very strange. I do well at times, but then other times I'm a mess. I think it's just the "comfort" that I miss... who knows. After three years it's just wierd. How long does this last, what can I do... what should I do? What should I NOT do? There ARE times when I will catch my self feeling and being "genuinely" happy and having fun when I realize I have not felt that in a VERY long time. Advice?? Yep. You are obsessing about it and thinking about all the details way too much. You need to get busier with your life. Of course you go up and down Bro, that's part of the process and normal. You will find that the downs get fewer and less intense. You should go out, work out, socialize, join Match.com, go on a few coffee dates, spend time with family and so on. You should NOT contact her for any reason.
Author HalfStepDown Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Thanks Don! Yea, I guess there's something to be said for it being a Saturday afternoon at 3pm and I'm still in my robe with the blinds closed!! Time to get up at at life! I have landscaping lights that need some attention and a truck to wash and a friend to meet at 7pm for dinner! Thank you again... I shall get moving now... Please keep the advice coming though!!
WTRanger Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 No one can tell you how long this will last. It is different for everyone. You just have to keep moving forward and before you know it, you'll have moved on. Once you have a thought about her and the past, process the thought then do not allow in back in your mind. If it comes back, think of something else. You can train your mind to not always ruminate about her, which is what it is doing now.
Author HalfStepDown Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Yes... constant "ruminating" is killing me!! I have to work on the mind training thing! what's weird is that I keep thinking of one of the WORST things she did to me in the begining... wow! I keep replaying that in an effort to rid my mind of her. I guess I just need to let ALL of that mess go!
Don Ho Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Thanks Don! Yea, I guess there's something to be said for it being a Saturday afternoon at 3pm and I'm still in my robe with the blinds closed!! You should have been up and at the gym at 9, lunch with a friend, outside doing something with other friends, washing your truck and then meeting your friend for dinner. WTF do you expect when you stay home til 3? LOL.
Author HalfStepDown Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Donho... Wow! You are right on target that's for sure! Made me bust up at my self for a minute and then I realized today is Sunday, it's 1:23pm and I'm JUST NOW getting out of bed AGAIN! I don't belong to a gym at all. Although there is a real nice one RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER from my house! It's Sunday now and I have a lot to do today, so I must get busy. I'm still NC and I must stop obessing!! Thanks again tho Don... I need that sort of push/motivation. Why is it that I KNOW what to do, but have such a hard time doing it? Depression? Self loathin? Self Pitty? Is this the part where I need to put on my big boy pants and simply just DO IT as nike says??
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