Gf broke up with me and wants to take it slow?

[jam88]

My Gf broke up with me 2 weeks ago on the 11th saying she didnt feel ready for a serious long term relationship and said she wanted to be single for now.. she said she would like to be friends though. I told her i dont wanna be friends as it would be weird.

 

After that so far so good, i started NC.. then she texted me halfway through the week saying she missed me and she didnt want to be single.. she wanted to be with me.

 

I tried to work out if its because id messed her head up without knowing or whether she was actually cheating.

 

So we arranged a meet up.. we went out friday 15th and she stayed over at my house (bad idea maybe?).. since we have been talking but she said in the the 15th fri meeting she wanted to take it 'slow'.. and she showed the signs she liked me during that night and the next morning.

 

ALSO We had argued alot before the breakup and she had been busy with her work recently coz she failed her first year and had to re-do it.

 

Anyway she hasnt changed her status to 'in relationship' on fb since that day (2 weeks in total nrly).. however her texts to me recently seem flirty and genuine.. here is a collection of her texts mixed/jumbled up to give you clearer picture of how she talks to me.

 

"what you doing lovely? what you doing handsome/gorgeous? i would like you to join me in bed to snuggle up whats my sexy monster doing? yep im your secret admirer! i want to squeeze ur bum. wakey wakey baby. i love you <3 x x x"

 

ALL that since last friday.. her texts kinda show me she still likes me and she could truly be taking it slow.. but i have doubts too like she is secretly seeing someone and pretending she slowly wants to get back together but really she is hiding her hidden 2nd relationship and using that to get over me while im being gullible. in other words she could be friendzoning me and i dont know.

 

What is your thoughts about the above?

 

She texted 3 times when i accidently fell alseep 'last night' and one of those texts was a "i love you <3 xxx" text.

 

this morning she texted me first thing in the morning we talked for abit and she asked me what i was doing and i replied then asked her what she was doing and she didnt reply.

 

And since then i feel she just went out somewhere. I mean i really wanna find out if there is another guy so that im not falsely being lead on by her.

 

I wil wait till tonight but is she using me here or is she serious about getting back?

 

Obv i'll be going into NC mode if she doesnt text back later.. by tonight i may have a clearer picture.

 

heres a concluded list of points for you to consider.

 

BAD POINTS:

*she admitted a month ago she considered likin someone else who lived nr her. (tho she said she doesnt rly like him; could be jealously plot)

*she broke up with me wanting to be single coz she wasnt rdy for a serious relationship.. if she isnt ready how can she suddenly be rdy?

*we argued alot because of her; but also perhaps I got alittle jealous of guys repeatdely asking her out recently. (but apart from that ive been a good man and done all correctly)

*this morning she suddenly stopped texting me after 10am.. i havent been over the top or anything.

*hasnt asked me to meet her or hasnt invited me to see her and its now been a week since the 15th..

*hasnt changed her facebook status to 'in relationship' yet.

 

GOOD POINTS:

*yesterday (most recent) she went out shopping with her mum and she forgot to take her phone with her so she went through all the effort to ask her mum for her phone to text me. thats 'effort' imo.

*when i accidently fell asleep yesterday she sent me 3 txts (idk if she thought i was ignoring her) but one of which spelt "i love you etc".

*her recent texts seem flirtacious.. and she calls me 'handsome', 'gorgeous' and 'sexy' aswell as other pet names. there is 'effort' in the txts.

*SHE actually stated to me the other day through text she didnt know where she stood with me and openly asked if i liked her? (does this mean i did not show enough attention as she seems to think i dont like her?)

*she said she was my secret admirer openly.

*she doesnt seem to go out much - but 'today' idk where she is..

 

 

Sorry i write alot.. please help me with this.

 

What im trying to see is whether this failed because i didnt show her enough attention and got angry too much with her

OR whether she has actually been cheating or seeing other people and i was right to be disappointed with it.

 

Thanks for your help, Jam

[SithLord]

She playing games man. Cut her off, no contact, disappear, stop visiting her facebook, any social sites shes on...Stop being a puppet, man up...just disappear without saying nothing...u need time to emotionally become stable again..

[SithLord]

Stop worrying about her feelings, think of ursss....u should be thinking whats important u and u only...with these things u cant set time dates...DISAPPEAR, show no mercy and start dating other ppl, ur stock value has to increase again to appear more attractive to her..

[jam88]

thanks sithlord

 

ermm few things before i begin this NC business.

When women have sex elsewhere or are no longer interested would they be totally blanking me and getting bored in my presence?

 

The thing is she doesnt act like this at all. She is acting like she is my gf even tho she isnt.. maybe im not seeing something and this rly is bull****.

 

She acts like she wants sex with me and acts like she usually did when she was going out with me through her texts - she is still attracted by how she acts too but idk..

 

BTW im not saying your wrong or anything; i know theres people who've been in this game longer than me and it could be she still likes me but likes someone else too which i guess is what your trying to tell me. the fact she is still single i guess shows shes in no rush either.

 

She ALSO just texted this minute saying..

 

"I LOVE YOU x x x"

 

so i dont know..

 

its weird because she still hasnt asked to meet up or anything. ive done this NC business before and gotten back with other girls so i know can do it again.

 

Do you still think this new txt is BS and i should ignore it? infact if she does text again i will come back here to let you know so i dont screw anything up.

 

This time im not sure whether this girl is abit cleverer then the average person.. she could be leading me on abit knowing damn well what she is doing. But if she is seeing some guy today i doubt she would text me during the date.. that just doesnt seem realistic.

 

Thanks again

Edited October 23, 2010 by jam88

[SithLord]

She wants to be with u let her work! Words are useless when theres not action behind it! Forget the other guy! hes nobody...focus on u and u only, start dating other people, jealous packs a wonderful pack. she said i love u reply back with a smiley face, speak to u later got to get ready for a date. Disappear man.....she needs to feel ur lost forever...she replies back dont answer man....focus focus focus on actions...but most important focus on urself...ur stock needs to rise again, always act cool and calm...

Edited October 23, 2010 by SithLord
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[John018]

OP, you must understand one thing when dealing with women. That is to judge them based on their ACTIONS and NOT WORDS.

 

Women will bull**** you all day about how much they love you and what a great guy you are but at the end of the day all that matters is how they treat you. And if she's not suggesting you meet up then she does not want to see you. Think about that - she says she LOVES YOU but does not want to SEE YOU. Why on earth would you not want to see someone if you love them and they are available?

 

As everyone else has said go NC until she sorts her dumb ass out.

[jam88]

OP, you must understand one thing when dealing with women. That is to judge them based on their ACTIONS and NOT WORDS.

 

Women will bull**** you all day about how much they love you and what a great guy you are but at the end of the day all that matters is how they treat you. And if she's not suggesting you meet up then she does not want to see you. Think about that - she says she LOVES YOU but does not want to SEE YOU. Why on earth would you not want to see someone if you love them and they are available?

 

As everyone else has said go NC until she sorts her dumb ass out.

 

Great reply john.. i never thought of it like that. Im gonna stay with NC till she sorts her sorry ass out.

 

Thanks man

[GrayClouds]

She just keeping you on the hook because the guy she was going for is playing her and she needs a back up is case it does not work out with him