yah Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 In 1 month I assume you see the guy maybe 4-5x, in short intervals. Therefore, is it normal for one person to not be sure they want to have establish a long-term relationship with you? Yes, completely normal. As you start to see and learn about each other more, for longer stretches of time and in different settings, then you begin to know what kind of person you are dealing with and if you are compatible.
BobSacamento Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Women have been brainwashed by the Lifetime Network and Romantic Comedies. It's the sense of entitlement that holds women back.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 [/b] Three dates? So you thought things were not moving fast enough for you in just THREE dates?? Goodness..what did you want...to be asked for marraige? LOL Not quite. Kissing, flirting, sexiness, lots of texts and regular phone calls. That kind of thing.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 MC, you have no idea how many guys I have stopped dating before 1 month was up because I didn't feel like they were that interested in me. I think I've been getting the picture. And I probably have said before, as have others, that you will need to back off on your "low /high interest" assessments of your suitors if you seriously mean to have a relationship of any depth in your life. If they are actually not into you, they will not continue to date you. Your feelings will be hurt, and if you're true to form, you will then cogitate ad infinitum upon how perhaps if you would have slept with him sooner, or not slept with him so soon, or not played so hard to get, or not texted him 79 times in a four hour period ... he would still be dating you. But OG! That's not how it really works! You can't control everything! Space must be allowed to let things unfold and develop, and for two people to reveal themselves to one another at their own pace ... and to LET things grow or fail. You do not seem to be able to do this, so far.
Star Gazer Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 That's not how it really works! You can't control everything! Space must be allowed to let things unfold and develop, and for two people to reveal themselves to one another at their own pace ... and to LET things grow or fail. You do not seem to be able to do this, so far. This, this, THIS!!! Just because a guy doesn't reveal himself the way you want him to and on YOUR timetable doesn't mean he's not interested. Go with it. If he's interested, like Mme., says, he'll continue dating you. THAT's how you know.
Surrealist Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I know a woman who has learnt the HARD way that any guy who shows a boatload of interest in the beginning is actually a huge RED flag. Of course every situation is different but this is typically true in her experience and I have seen it first hand.
refurb Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Sigh. I have been having this discussion with my mum for YEARS. I just can't get her to understand what I mean and we always end up arguing. I am very close to my mum and it is important to me that she understands where I am coming from. Listen to your Mom. I've dated girls that I've been really excited about seeing again, but it's usually due to superficial reasons: good looks, exciting or we just "click". Not horrible reasons to want to see someone again, but when it comes to a long-term relationship, not really all that valuable. I've dated girls who I thought were "boring" at first. They were very quiet, not very physical (not talking sex) and quite cautious. One girl in particular I asked her if she was interested in seeing me again because it didn't seem like she was having fun. She told me she was. So we went on a few more dates. She is a very impressive girl. Smart, hardworking, responsible, compassionate and warm. It just took some time. RF
refurb Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 This, this, THIS!!! Just because a guy doesn't reveal himself the way you want him to and on YOUR timetable doesn't mean he's not interested. Go with it. If he's interested, like Mme., says, he'll continue dating you. THAT's how you know. Even though I see a TON of crappy advice on this board, it's post like this that keep me coming back. Good job SG! RF
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