USMCHokie Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 If it's a slow kiss, a fast kiss, etc. They usually go hand in hand. And if they mix it up and do it all...
EricaH329 Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 And if they mix it up and do it all... That's even better!!
dreamingoftigers Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I always bring it up before actual sex. I'm not going to get emotionally invested in a woman that won't give head WELL or that just lays there & makes me do all the work. Nothing is more annoying than going down a woman, giving her an orgasm then having her go down on me for about a min. then quit saying her jaw hurts. WTF?!?!? You might have to take little tiny breaks when the tension builds in your jaw until you get used to it, but stopping all together doesn't seem fair.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I don't know but why is it only up to the man to be good in bed? Women just lay there doing nothing and show no enthusiasm and then at the same time whine about the man not being good in bed... Why would you crawl into bed with someone that shows no enthusiasm?
LittleTiger Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 (edited) I've always been curious about how true this really is. The way the topic is batted around, it certainly seems that being a "great lover" is an objective quality. After all, for guys, there are stigmas attached to losing their virginity late and not having had many sex partners -- the assumption being that these prevent them from sufficiently developing their "great lover" quality. Plus, I've never seen an LS post in which a woman has said that her SO is great in bed but his ex thought he was a cold fish . . . The number of sexual partners does not determine how good a lover you are. I believe that anybody can be a great lover with their first ever partner provided they are prepared to communicate openly about sex and I don't mean saying 'ooh' and 'ahh' in the right places. If you can have a frank discussion about what turns you on, what feels good etc, if you listen to one another, practise the things you each enjoy and give as much as you receive, you can both become 'great lovers' - but only for each other and, as I said before, only if you both enjoy the same things. If your relationship doesn't work out and you find yourself with a new partner who's body responds differently from your exes and who likes a whole different range of moves, techniques etc, you pretty much have to start again from scratch to become your new partners 'great lover'. If you then discover that your new partner is into swinging from chandeliers, bondage, S&M, Dom/Sub, voyeurism, threesomes, anal, sex outdoors or in public places (or whatever) and you aren't, then the chances are, no matter what else you do, you won't be that persons 'great lover' - not ever! You can't learn to be a universally great lover because there's no universal definition of what a 'great lover' is. You can, however, learn to be a great lover for the person you love - provided you both agree on what 'great loving' means. Edited October 23, 2010 by LittleTiger
Princess2 Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 This one guy told me that "I look like I would be good at giving head." And he was my friend. He was being serious, not trying to be disrespectful. Never did it to him though. Sexual compatibility/chemistry is really important.
LittleTiger Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Sexual compatibility/chemistry is really important. Sexual compatibility and chemistry are important. I'm not sure if that's what you meant but they are two entirely different things. Chemistry is chemical, unconscious, beyond our control and determined by pheromones etc. Sexual compatibility is whether we both like the same things between the sheets (or wherever!). Both are important for good sex, but only sexual compatibility will determine whether you consider somebody a great lover or not. You could meet somebody in a bar, have great sexual chemistry and find each other 'smoking hot' but if you have vastly different sexual preferences you're not going to be great at 'loving' each other. A few people have already mentioned the importance of being a good kisser, but I doubt very much if those people kissed one another they'd all be raving about each other's great technique. You're only a good kisser if the other person likes the way you kiss.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Arrogance is a tip off of someone who is likely not so hot. Every time I've been with a woman who had an "I know everything" and "you're now going to experience the best" attitude, it has always underwhelmed if not sucked (figuratively).
somedude81 Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 So, you're scoping out a roomful of people - what are some clues that hint that a person that might be a great lover? Just curious (and maybe a little bit of a creeper ). It's impossible to tell. It depends what you like. I like a man that will take control in bed. So a good indicator is that he is confident in how he moves and talks to others. He will also be able to indicate sexual interest in me without being shy about it (but without being creepy either). If we start talking, he won't be afraid to touch me. Passive in life = passive in bed. Good guess, but no. There is absolutely no correlation between how a man interacts with others in a social situation to how he acts when he's alone with a woman getting busy. Heck the guy can be shy with a woman while talking to her and become a freak when he knows he has her.
LiveWell Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 So, you're scoping out a roomful of people - what are some clues that hint that a person that might be a great lover? Just curious (and maybe a little bit of a creeper ). A great sign is if they are there with someone else already.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Arrogance is a tip off of someone who is likely not so hot. Every time I've been with a woman who had an "I know everything" and "you're now going to experience the best" attitude, it has always underwhelmed if not sucked (figuratively). I often wonder whether some of these really attractive, yet really up-themselves women are actually any good in bed. You know the ones - they have this haughty, "you can't touch this" air and can be seen standing around at nightclubs and bars looking pretty but sullen. My hunch is that a fair percentage of them are not all that great.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 It's impossible to tell. Good guess, but no. There is absolutely no correlation between how a man interacts with others in a social situation to how he acts when he's alone with a woman getting busy. Heck the guy can be shy with a woman while talking to her and become a freak when he knows he has her. No offense, but unless you're bisexual I would say that Ocean Girl has more experience of having sex with men than yourself.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I often wonder whether some of these really attractive, yet really up-themselves women are actually any good in bed. You know the ones - they have this haughty, "you can't touch this" air and can be seen standing around at nightclubs and bars looking pretty but sullen. My hunch is that a fair percentage of them are not all that great. Yeah, that's what I mean. The ones who tell you they give the world's best head always seem to try to prove that with their teeth. Ouch, bitch.
Titania22 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 All these comments are really food for thought. So let me ask honestly. If men tell you that something you did sexually was good, or that they 'really enjoyed' it, is that a good indicator that you may be good at it. Because I don't judge my prowess by what I think, but rather the feedback I get. And to be clear it's not situations with me asking 'was that good for you?' Basically can I trust that feedback is accurate?
GooseChaser Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 All these comments are really food for thought. So let me ask honestly. If men tell you that something you did sexually was good, or that they 'really enjoyed' it, is that a good indicator that you may be good at it. Because I don't judge my prowess by what I think, but rather the feedback I get. And to be clear it's not situations with me asking 'was that good for you?' Basically can I trust that feedback is accurate? They want to recommend things to you that they especially like so that the sex is as good for themselves as possible, so yes, you can trust that they are telling the truth.
bac Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 From my experience, avoid alpha-male behavior. The more he is alpha, the worse is the sexual outcome. The guy who presents himself as a very confident, popular male. Also, avoid a guy who believes that he has what it takes to satisfy a woman sexually. A guy who presents himself as very experienced and skilled at sex. He is good only for young girls who do not really know what is sex about. He makes a girl satisfy himself and tells her that she is expected to enjoy his great skills unless there is smth wrong with her. Most other types of behavior are OK for sexual satisfaction. A normal guy with some reasonable doubts about his sexual abilities, popularity and skills and, also, a guy with social anxiety, personality disorder, and bipolar could be great at sex.
Titania22 Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 From my experience, avoid alpha-male behavior. The more he is alpha, the worse is the sexual outcome. The guy who presents himself as a very confident, popular male. Also, avoid a guy who believes that he has what it takes to satisfy a woman sexually. A guy who presents himself as very experienced and skilled at sex. He is good only for young girls who do not really know what is sex about. He makes a girl satisfy himself and tells her that she is expected to enjoy his great skills unless there is smth wrong with her. Most other types of behavior are OK for sexual satisfaction. A normal guy with some reasonable doubts about his sexual abilities, popularity and skills and, also, a guy with social anxiety, personality disorder, and bipolar could be great at sex. I like this response.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Arrogance is a tip off of someone who is likely not so hot. Every time I've been with a woman who had an "I know everything" and "you're now going to experience the best" attitude, it has always underwhelmed if not sucked (figuratively). I have had the same experience with the opposite sex. I told one guy a little bit of a gentle direction (it's a little higher...) and he actually blasted back to me, "I know what I'm doing!" and we stopped right there as I said "No, you don't."
dreamingoftigers Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 From my experience, avoid alpha-male behavior. The more he is alpha, the worse is the sexual outcome. The guy who presents himself as a very confident, popular male. Also, avoid a guy who believes that he has what it takes to satisfy a woman sexually. A guy who presents himself as very experienced and skilled at sex. He is good only for young girls who do not really know what is sex about. He makes a girl satisfy himself and tells her that she is expected to enjoy his great skills unless there is smth wrong with her. Most other types of behavior are OK for sexual satisfaction. A normal guy with some reasonable doubts about his sexual abilities, popularity and skills and, also, a guy with social anxiety, personality disorder, and bipolar could be great at sex. I agree with this and in my limited experience have found that guys who were promiscuous made terrible lovers because they just viewed my body as a short road map and made some quick stops on the way to their destination. Two of my experiences included virgin men ( both were LTRs)and they were actually better because they were fascinated by my body and explored it and showed enthusiasm. It wasn't like "hey, it's Tuesday, I might as well get laid."
phineas Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Arrogance is a tip off of someone who is likely not so hot. Every time I've been with a woman who had an "I know everything" and "you're now going to experience the best" attitude, it has always underwhelmed if not sucked (figuratively). For the most part I agree. Especially for oral.
climbergirl Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Preindicator that he would be bad in bed...he talks about himself. A lot. Self absorbed outside that bed translates to self absorbed in bed.
BobSacamento Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 This one guy told me that "I look like I would be good at giving head." And he was my friend. He was being serious, not trying to be disrespectful. Never did it to him though. Sexual compatibility/chemistry is really important. This is an excellent move on his part. He's planted the seed of curiosity. I see it as low risk, high reward.
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Yeah I agree that the people that are usually the best in bed aren't the ones that boast about it. I know a few guys who boast about sleeping with 50-100 women...funny none of those women ever came back for more... Quantity doesn't mean quality.
dreamingoftigers Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 But it doesn't make the men more valuable to us. I think it is laughable when men say things like that.
runner Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 yes, and sometimes people don't talk about it cos they don't actually have much to talk about
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