reknown29 Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 So my ex is in this pattern where she calls me once a week to hang out. She is dating someone else, so she said after the last visit. She comes over and we hug and kiss passionately. Then she says you will not have sex with me, and that she will never in this lifetime get back with me. then she leaves. She has issues with letting go. She using me as backup for her new relationship after dumping me two months ago. I have been unable to function over the breakup. Been a mess... When I see her and hold her all the pain goes away. She just texted and wants to come over. I want to hold her so bad but I cant go on like this. Im trying to ignore her. Help me out. Or maybe I should have her come over? Though, I just cant do this to the new guy, whoever he is. *** Im confused. I dont want to be the B or C guy.
lapse Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 So my ex is in this pattern where she calls me once a week to hang out. She is dating someone else, so she said after the last visit. She comes over and we hug and kiss passionately. Then she says you will not have sex with me, and that she will never in this lifetime get back with me. then she leaves. She has issues with letting go. She using me as backup for her new relationship after dumping me two months ago. I have been unable to function over the breakup. Been a mess... When I see her and hold her all the pain goes away. She just texted and wants to come over. I want to hold her so bad but I cant go on like this. Im trying to ignore her. Help me out. Or maybe I should have her come over? Though, I just cant do this to the new guy, whoever he is. *** Im confused. I dont want to be the B or C guy. NOOOO! This is what sedatives are for. Please do not let her come over. Holding her... and knowing what she's going to do... is going to make you feel WORSE. Get used to being hungry and don't be scared of it. Find something else to eat. But not her. Damit. The pain goes away for what, however long she is there, and then you feel like crap again. You're prolonging your pain, man. And now it's your fault. Don't let her use you as a weapon against you.
Banker Chick Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Just imagine her kissing and hugging someone else after she leaves you. Why are you willing to take her crumbs? You deserve better than that!
Hhhh Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Been NC 3 weeks feels great... Would I love to have my ex back? Maybe that's what NC does helps you realize your life doesn't revolve around this person and you heal much faster
Author reknown29 Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 ok. I just went from being 50/50 to 70/30 favoring not to see her. I hope I stay here. Its going to be a long night. She may contact me at 2a... I cant let this person do this to me anymore. Its loneliness that is getting me in trouble.
Author reknown29 Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Im taking it minute by minute. it feels good so far. not gonna see her. not gonna see her. not gonna see her. ....i think im already feeling better about myself... taking a walk and leaving my phone...
lapse Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Im taking it minute by minute. it feels good so far. not gonna see her. not gonna see her. not gonna see her. ....i think im already feeling better about myself... taking a walk and leaving my phone... excellent... was just going to suggest that. turn off the phone when you get in? please... gj. best to do it minute by minute.
skydiveaddict Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 My goodness. Why are you letting this girl torture you like this? I don't know what else to say.
D-Lish Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 As many issues as she might have- it's your issue if you agree to let her walk all over you. You have a choice to either accept how she is treating you, or take a stand against it. If you think you're not strong enough, you're wrong! It's actually liberating to take a stand against something you know is inherently wrong. Just keep in mind that you are the one that is in control of the situation- because you have the power to say no.
LiveWell Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 (edited) She's cheating on her new boyfriend with you, the ex. Our lives generally show great improvement when we avoid spending time with persons lacking in character. Edited October 23, 2010 by LiveWell
Author reknown29 Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 so she is not coming over. i did give in a little and texted her this: 'reschedule' her rply was: 'yes' thats it. the problem is she still has things over my place which I told her to get out. All week she was suppose to get them but she hasnt. Unfortunately this isnt something I can totally walk away from yet. i was planning on leaving the place when she came and unlocking the door for her. maybe thats too dramatic?
Author reknown29 Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 ...i would have to trick her into thinking i was there. thats the only way she will pick her things up. why am i being tortured by this person? if she only knew how cruel she is being. she dumped me and made me feel like it was all my fault. maybe i was a little distant but that could have been talked out... im seeing this is not a good person. its hard because she is a celebrity and everyone loves her... im also loosing that lifestyle which makes it even more rough. im in a crappy place.
livelife Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 ...i would have to trick her into thinking i was there. thats the only way she will pick her things up. why am i being tortured by this person? if she only knew how cruel she is being. she dumped me and made me feel like it was all my fault. maybe i was a little distant but that could have been talked out... im seeing this is not a good person. its hard because she is a celebrity and everyone loves her... im also loosing that lifestyle which makes it even more rough. im in a crappy place. I hate to see that your hurting, However, I can definitely tell she has a problem letting go. She acts like she still likes you- Why isnt she with you? You don't need to be with someone like that. Shes dating someone else, right?And going behind their back kissing and hugging and snuggling with you. She could EASILY do that with another guy if u two were together again. Im sorry- but im glad you see it now! Trick her- thats a good idea. And go NC...just dont reply to her texts. I know its hard, but LS can help you through it
cozenedindigo Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Do NOT let her do this to you. Just let it go. You've got to be strong for now and tell her firmly never to contact you again. Whatever stuff of hers you do have, pack it up and ask her to take it away, or give it to a mutual friend. Under no circumstances must you let this situation continue.
Author reknown29 Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 thanks. im totally with you. i already packed her stuff. she WILL not come over without me in the house. I even tried putting her stuff out in the car but she will not come and get it. she is making this so hard. she'll come over and act like we never broke up. she acts like we are having the most romantic time ever. gazes in my eyes, light touches, etc. i ask her whats going on (tell her i still love her and why is she doing this) and then she says, dont be fooled, i will never get back with you. its really messed up. my head is being seriously ***d with. like you said, i need to be real strong and firm about this. push her away. i am being mentally abused by this girl.
YellowShark Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 She is totally using you physically to boost her own self-esteem. And she is technically cheating on this new guy she is dating with you. Do you really want to be in a dynamic where the girl who has the keys to your heart is using you and cheating on her other boyfriend? Really? Say goodbye to this woman, never make a person a priority who only sees you as an option. Good luck!
Author reknown29 Posted October 26, 2010 Author Posted October 26, 2010 yes, I am in an awful position. I gave my heart to someone under any condition and now I have to take it back. Im a romantic guy. Im starting to find that that is a curse. This girl has so much power over me socially and emotionally. Im trying hard to regain some kind of self worth after it has been ripped from me. I just put her things out in the trunk of my old car out front. Texted her to get them. She said she is sad and nervous to come over. I dont think she ever stopped loving me. But the way she went about breaking up and doing what she is doing makes me realize, this is not the woman I want mothering my children.
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