brainygirl Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Online dating thing. I work with a woman who recently got divorced. She didn't want the divorce. She and her husband broke up because she found out he had a dating profile on a website that stated he was single and looking for a girlfriend. I DO most of my dating via online dating. I knew there was a small chance that people on the profiles were not being completely honest, but to know of a marriage that broke up over it . . . makes me pause. How common is this? And are there warning signs that will tell you if someone isn't really single?
Str8noChaser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 And are there warning signs that will tell you if someone isn't really single? Asking the right questions will let you know.
Author brainygirl Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 that's kinda vague, don't you think? anyone else have any input?
Str8noChaser Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 that's kinda vague, don't you think? anyone else have any input? My bad. Let me spell it out. Are you involved with anyone in any capacity? When did your last relationship end? Are you seeing anyone presently? Are you 100% single? Unmarried? Ever married? Do you need need more questions? I got tons!
Author brainygirl Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 All valid and good questions worth asking, but lets assume for a moment that men who are married or involved will probably lie . . . . what subtle hints would give them away. i ask because I tend to take people at face value, a habit that has gotten me burned in the past.
Str8noChaser Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 All valid and good questions worth asking, but lets assume for a moment that men who are married or involved will probably lie . . . . what subtle hints would give them away. i ask because I tend to take people at face value, a habit that has gotten me burned in the past. If you are dealing with a man who may be married or otherwise involved, a visit to his abode maybe in order. If he is evasive or declines, that may be a subtle hint. Or, if you get there and find a "feminine" touch, maybe another sign. Outside of that, all I can suggest is for you to stop taking people at face value and be a bit more skeptical, until you see signs of transparency upfront. If anything feels off, then you leave him alone and find someone else.
callingyouuu Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Well people can lie to you about their relationship status in real life, as well. It's just harder to organize. In terms of the divorce, I know it's awful for your coworker, but isn't it better for her not to be with a two-timing husband anymore? It's better for her in the long run that she found out. I'm just sorry it had to happen.
Star Gazer Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 A big sign the guy is married or otherwise involved? He won't have a picture posted, but he'll willing to email them to you with the excuse that he has some high-power job where he'd be embarrassed to be seen on an online dating site. Riiiiiiight. I've actually had a couple dudes admit it to me in the past after I called them out on it.
LittleTiger Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 1. Arrange to meet him for a date on a Sunday - daytime. If he can't make Sunday's, chances are he's already attached. 2. Ask lots of questions - personal questions. Get really nosy. Ask about his parents, his siblings, uncles, aunts, nephews, nieces, (ex) partners. He'll catch himself out talking about family if he aleady has one of his own.
Awesome Username Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Also, watch for hidden girly things in his car like lip gloss, anything with fairies on it, and "cowgirl up" on the back. LOL! Honestly, I agree with the poster above that you can lie both online and offline about having a spouse. SO underhanded!!! I'm tempted to answer one of these cheating Craigslist ads and with a little research, email their wives. Mwahaha.
D-Jam Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Online dating thing. I work with a woman who recently got divorced. She didn't want the divorce. She and her husband broke up because she found out he had a dating profile on a website that stated he was single and looking for a girlfriend. I DO most of my dating via online dating. I knew there was a small chance that people on the profiles were not being completely honest, but to know of a marriage that broke up over it . . . makes me pause. How common is this? I'd tread carefully with her. Make sure she's not making you a rebound guy. It's amazing what a breakup will do. You'll see the person immediately put a profile up or suddenly hit the gym when they haven't gone in months. And are there warning signs that will tell you if someone isn't really single? I agree in asking the right questions, but also watching the signs. If he/she is seeing you regularly but really won't invite you into his/her personal life, then that's a red flag.
Banker Chick Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 A big sign the guy is married or otherwise involved? He won't have a picture posted, but he'll willing to email them to you with the excuse that he has some high-power job where he'd be embarrassed to be seen on an online dating site. Riiiiiiight. I've actually had a couple dudes admit it to me in the past after I called them out on it. I've had this happen several times. One guy actually asked me how far I lived from the local airport. Could you BE any more transparent? Other clues are they always want to initiate the contact and never seem to be available when you might contact them. Tend to disappear for a couple days at a time. Get defensive when you ask questions. Luckily because I heavily screen any potential dates I've always avoided actually meeting up with any of these married/committed relationship guys. Gotta feel sorry for their partners though. They probably have no clue!
Author brainygirl Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 I'd tread carefully with her. Make sure she's not making you a rebound guy. No I'm a GIRL and I work with her, we were talking about our ex's since we both have kids and are divorced and the story came out. It's amazing what a breakup will do. You'll see the person immediately put a profile up or suddenly hit the gym when they haven't gone in months. Well, there's two thoughts on it, one says mourn and while and the other says get back out there. Its hard to know which is the right thing to do, but as a rule of thumb, I try not to date people still hung up on exes. I agree in asking the right questions, but also watching the signs. If he/she is seeing you regularly but really won't invite you into his/her personal life, then that's a red flag. Its making me type more even though all that in the bold is me . . . .
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