youngskywalker Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 I just finished my second date with a girl. Everything is great and she shows a lot of interest. I never call the day after of course but is it too long to wait 4-5 days before calling? I always thought 2 days was the rule of thumb but I don't want to call her over the weekend because I'm sure she'll be out with friends or who knows maybe another date. I want to play it cool. I planning on setting something really fun up but it won't happen till next weekend. I'd rather not go out on the weeknight because it would just be another dinner and I don't want her to feel bored with drinks and dinner 3 times in a row. So basically, is it cool to wait 4-5 days before calling or am I shooting myself in the foot?
Idalis Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I've never really believed in dating "rules". If I had gone on a date with someone and was interested I would not want him to wait 4 or 5 days to call me. I guess everyone is different, but I just don't see the sense in rules, they seem more like a game to me. Especially if you got the impression that she is interested in more dates.
Star Gazer Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 If I had 2 great dates with a guy, and he waited 4-5 days to call me... you wouldn't get a return phone call. It'd be obvious that either you're low interest, or playing some lame game.
alclarkey Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I've never really believed in dating "rules". If I had gone on a date with someone and was interested I would not want him to wait 4 or 5 days to call me. I guess everyone is different, but I just don't see the sense in rules, they seem more like a game to me. Especially if you got the impression that she is interested in more dates. It's because stupid people starting throwing around the term "desperate" at just about everyone. And everyone wants badly to avoid said term because it is the dating kiss of death. So they start playing stupid phone tag games, and stupid trying not to show your feelings games, and just altogether stupid games, just to avoid the "desperate" title.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 It's because stupid people starting throwing around the term "desperate" at just about everyone. And everyone wants badly to avoid said term because it is the dating kiss of death. So they start playing stupid phone tag games, and stupid trying not to show your feelings games, and just altogether stupid games, just to avoid the "desperate" title. The thing is, without these dating "rules", people like me would end up calling a girl all day every day, because we get attached so easily. To the OP: I think you only do the "wait a few days to call" rule after the first date. From the second date onwards, you should suggest the next date at the end of the current one. I think it's good to get some momemtum going when you are dating, and you are in danger of losing that if you only ever call a few days after.
Titania22 Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 The thing is, without these dating "rules", people like me would end up calling a girl all day every day, because we get attached so easily. I'm feeling you, with this one. When I am really into someone, exercising self control seems near impossible. When I am not, someone contacting me heaps seems needy and clingy. What's up with that?
Author youngskywalker Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I got my answer which is just keep the ball rolling and go with it. Waiting a few days is too long. If this girl is really interested in me then calling her up for another date two days later won't be a problem. Basically I screwed up when I didn't set up the next date before we said goodbye for the night. I didn't know that was proper protocol. I'm still learning.
phineas Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Thanks for the replies. I got my answer which is just keep the ball rolling and go with it. Waiting a few days is too long. If this girl is really interested in me then calling her up for another date two days later won't be a problem. Basically I screwed up when I didn't set up the next date before we said goodbye for the night. I didn't know that was proper protocol. I'm still learning. Don't set up the next date at the end of a date. Just tell her you want to see her again & ask when a good time to call her is. Then CALL HER on that day & time. If she doesn't pick up leave a message. Ball's in her court.
D-Jam Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I just finished my second date with a girl. Everything is great and she shows a lot of interest. I never call the day after of course but is it too long to wait 4-5 days before calling? I always thought 2 days was the rule of thumb but I don't want to call her over the weekend because I'm sure she'll be out with friends or who knows maybe another date. I want to play it cool. I planning on setting something really fun up but it won't happen till next weekend. I'd rather not go out on the weeknight because it would just be another dinner and I don't want her to feel bored with drinks and dinner 3 times in a row. So basically, is it cool to wait 4-5 days before calling or am I shooting myself in the foot? You're 2 dates already with her...you can stop worrying about the "rules". The "rules", if one chooses to follow them, are more or less for when you're initially going and do not want to scare the other person away. At this point, "going too fast" would be to tell her you love her or something like that. Call...chat...ask her about her day...tell her you were thinking about her.
carhill Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 OP, if the lady likes you, it won't matter when you call. If she doesn't like you, it won't matter when you call. If she's on the fence, it won't matter when you call. See where this is going? Do what *you* want. If she likes you and finds your style of contact attractive, there ya go. This does not address *content* of the contact, which is a totally separate dynamic.
Author youngskywalker Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 OP, if the lady likes you, it won't matter when you call. If she doesn't like you, it won't matter when you call. If she's on the fence, it won't matter when you call. See where this is going? I definitely see where this is going. I agree.
USMCHokie Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I just finished my second date with a girl. Everything is great and she shows a lot of interest. I never call the day after of course but is it too long to wait 4-5 days before calling? I always thought 2 days was the rule of thumb but I don't want to call her over the weekend because I'm sure she'll be out with friends or who knows maybe another date. I want to play it cool. What's wrong with calling the day after...? Even shooting her a text the next morning saying you had a great time and look forward to seeing her again is fine... Keep in mind, those "rules of thumb" are used by guys who are trying to attract women who wouldn't have been interested in them otherwise...they are appealing to a woman's attraction to the game, versus their attraction to YOU... I planning on setting something really fun up but it won't happen till next weekend. I'd rather not go out on the weeknight because it would just be another dinner and I don't want her to feel bored with drinks and dinner 3 times in a row. So basically, is it cool to wait 4-5 days before calling or am I shooting myself in the foot? A "different" third date is a great idea. Call on Monday or Tuesday. The text I mentioned above serves as a bridge to your next call.
carhill Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Perhaps it's different for the younger set, but, with older women (I'm 51), they seem to respond well to 'setting up' a future date in person at some point during the current date if it is going well. I see it as building on positive energy. Again, perhaps age-specific. Such also gives me insight as to their perspective, which might (and usually does) differ from mine. It's all good information
Author youngskywalker Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 What's wrong with calling the day after...? Even shooting her a text the next morning saying you had a great time and look forward to seeing her again is fine... She already did this 15 minutes after we said goodbye and said she had a wonderful time. I replied "I felt honored to take you out" she said, "(blushing) You're so sweet" I'm in for sure. I think it's a good idea to just call her sooner than later and get on with it already. Thanks for the help everyone.
USMCHokie Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 She already did this 15 minutes after we said goodbye and said she had a wonderful time. I replied "I felt honored to take you out" she said, "(blushing) You're so sweet" I'm in for sure. I think it's a good idea to just call her sooner than later and get on with it already. Thanks for the help everyone. Good to hear! Yep, like carhill said, it doesn't matter when you call her if she's interested...she'll be happy to hear from you regardless...but err on the side of sooner rather than later...
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