hearttobreak Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 I decided to switch and try this OKCupid. I messaged like 30 women, two got back to me. Guess the other 28 think I am not worthy of their reply. Actually, the second woman replied to my email 20 minutes after I sent it. I thought that was a good sign. Answered my questions and asked me others. Found out we have a common interest, animals and volunteering. Replied back the next day so I do not look so desperate, and answered her questions and then asked her others. She logged in like a half hour later, but no reply? Was she just toying with me? You know, just to entertain that I had a shot with her, and then gotcha? Why do women do this? If you are not interested, fine, don't reply. I do not understand.
Eeyore79 Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 It's perfectly possible that she read your message but didn't have time to write a detailed response, so she left it till later. Just because she didn't respond immediately, it doesn't mean she won't respond - especially since she replied once already.
Cee Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Women get lots of messages on OKC so time management is difficult. A woman might be interested, but busy and may not get a chance to message right away. Also, it doesn't hurt to send a reminder type message or a memory jogger if there is a drop in communication. Sometimes, I'd lose track of who's turn it was to write and not respond. This isn't the case for you now, but it can happen in lengthy communication. Also, remember women will likely only message two or three people at a time so no response is not necessarily a rejection- it might be bad timing. You can message again in a month or two, but probably it's best to move on. Good luck and try to maintain your sense of humor. Online dating is hard on men more than it is for women. But, as a woman, I can tell you it's not much for fun for me either. I eventually quit the business and never want to go back.
alexlakeman Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 We all do it; us men too. People have lives, people are busy. In my case, for example, at times I'll log on to match from my cell phone, read the messages, but respond from the laptop later that evening or the next day. I get that all the time from women too, especially on the weekends; we all have lives and are not sitting there waiting for a response. Granted, I've seen it happen to me too; we'll email back and fourth a couple times, then nothing more. Sometimes, but rarely, I'll send a follow up email a few DAYS later if I got no response (assuming we've been emailing back and fourth), and just say "hey, how was your week"? And if I get a response I go for the phone #, if not , move on. As an example , right NOW 1. Back and fourth email with subject one, I emailed her 2 days ago for her #. I didn't hear from her yesterday, but she texted me today. Will I call or text her today? Don't know 2. Subject 2 - we exchanged mail 2-3 times,and she was the one that gave me her email, we emailed back and fourth, but haven't heard back since tues. I'll shoot her a "hello" saturday. Maybe she gets a ton of email and I'm already on page 2. Lol It happened to me recently. Girl emails me her #, and between one thing and another I lost her email. She emailed me again and just told her I misplaced the email to give me her # again, which she did. That was a week ago and I haven't called and probably won't. Have fun and enjoy the hunt.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Whats a good way to send a non-threatening or desperate friendly reminder?
souvlaki Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 when I did online dating, I would only really message back and forth with a couple of guys at a time. Sometimes I'd just focus on one guy that I really liked. This is sort of how I'd operate. I'd have a top choice, meet with him, and then if that didn't go anywhere, start responding to more messages from my second choice, and so on. I would respond to a lot of messages from guys I was slightly interested in, but might let the communication drop off if I got more involved with another fellow on the site. If I"m a good indication of how other women operate, this woman probably found you interesting enough to keep as an option, but not interesting enough to keep up a correspondence with. That's not to say it might not change later on if things don't work out with her and the fellow she REALLY likes.
Mutant Debutante Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Actually, the second woman replied to my email 20 minutes after I sent it. ... Replied back the next day so I do not look so desperate, and answered her questions and then asked her others. She logged in like a half hour later, but no reply? I do not understand. Uhhh....she's doing the exact same thing you did.
souvlaki Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Whats a good way to send a non-threatening or desperate friendly reminder? I would give her some more time. Here's what one guy sent me as a "poke" when I didn't get back to him that I thought was cute. Can't remember the exact phrasing but it was along the lines of: "Gah, I ruined things with my rambling. Why did I get long responses from all the less interesting girls, but not you, the one I really hoped would write back to me?" He worded it much better than that, but it was cutely self deprecating and showed his interest in me over others. It made me want to write back immediately.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 I would give her some more time. Here's what one guy sent me as a "poke" when I didn't get back to him that I thought was cute. Can't remember the exact phrasing but it was along the lines of: "Gah, I ruined things with my rambling. Why did I get long responses from all the less interesting girls, but not you, the one I really hoped would write back to me?" He worded it much better than that, but it was cutely self deprecating and showed his interest in me over others. It made me want to write back immediately. Grasping for straws here... By any chance do you have the worded much better option? She's an English teacher, so I think my grammar needs to be up to par. If not, that's cool too.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 Uhhh....she's doing the exact same thing you did. That was two days ago.
souvlaki Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 Grasping for straws here... By any chance do you have the worded much better option? She's an English teacher, so I think my grammar needs to be up to par. If not, that's cool too. Unfortunately I don't. I deleted my account awhile back.
Author hearttobreak Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Surprisingly, she replied today. Anyone think, after answering her questions and sending her additional ones it would be ok to request a meet, or is this too soon? I sent her two emails she sent me two back. This would be a third. Might as well cut to the chase, no? Also, it says she replies often, so I do not know if she is just being nice or if she is interested. The only thing I think I got going for me is on her first reply, she replied in 20 minutes. The second reply was about a day later.
GooseChaser Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Sure, ask her out if you want to. Whenever you feel like the time is right. You never know when they might not be available anymore, so you might as well go for it!
Author hearttobreak Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Would you believe? In her message, she asked to meet for drinks? This is a first for me. A woman, a very attractive one at that, asks to meet for drinks. Must be a trick of some sort. Does okcupid do gags on their free members?
Cee Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Would you believe? In her message, she asked to meet for drinks? This is a first for me. A woman, a very attractive one at that, asks to meet for drinks. Must be a trick of some sort. Does okcupid do gags on their free members? That seems unusual. But why not set up a meeting in a public place? OKC doesn't need to do gags on it's members. The members do enough damage to each other.
alclarkey Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Would you believe? In her message, she asked to meet for drinks? This is a first for me. A woman, a very attractive one at that, asks to meet for drinks. Must be a trick of some sort. Does okcupid do gags on their free members? Beware, she may be one of those women with an hourly rate...
Author hearttobreak Posted October 24, 2010 Author Posted October 24, 2010 Beware, she may be one of those women with an hourly rate... The woman works at the local high school. Doubtful. There also can be a slight smidgen of a chance maybe she has an interest in me?
alclarkey Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 The woman works at the local high school. Doubtful. There also can be a slight smidgen of a chance maybe she has an interest in me? Of course there is, but I've become rather cynical about online dating after being hit on by webcam hookers too many times.
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