NoneTheWiser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 There have been several posts from both men and women on LS lately regarding the excessive use of porn in their relationship and the effects it has on their relationship. In each case the wife appears to be upset with their significant others excessive use of porn. Many respondents have made it clear that porn is ok even excessive porn use is ok. My question is how many couples are still in long term relationships where one person is into excessive porn use? By long term I mean 15 year or longer.
Author NoneTheWiser Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 I was afraid that someone would ask for that. It’s kind of like what is the definition of pornography, rather subjective. But I would define excessive use as maybe being to a point where your spouse is uncomfortable with it, or not being able to go without viewing porn for a day or two.
emmalee Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 There have been several posts from both men and women on LS lately regarding the excessive use of porn in their relationship and the effects it has on their relationship. In each case the wife appears to be upset with their significant others excessive use of porn. Many respondents have made it clear that porn is ok even excessive porn use is ok. My question is how many couples are still in long term relationships where one person is into excessive porn use? By long term I mean 15 year or longer. I would love to know the answer to this question. Excessive has many different definitions. It could be that you and your partner dont have sex, and one partner uses porn Or it could be that it upsets the other partner Whatever your defintion of excessive is, one thing is always the same: Excessive= destructive I challenge anyone to find a defintion of excessive that is not destructive to a relationship. I doubt anyone will find one. So therefore if someone out there is in a LTR, where excessive porn is an issue, you would assume that the relationship would be destroyed eventually... So why would it last 15+?
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I think excessive use tends to be when one partner is more caught up in porn than the other. I mean if you have 2 partners who love porn, either together or separately, it probably isn't an issue. But if you have one partner who watches it all the time and one doesn't like it, then the other's use of it becomes 'excessive'. I think porn is such a difficult issue because intellectually we can understand why we all want to watch it but emotionally we see it as a threat.
Author NoneTheWiser Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 I agree Nikki with your definition. What I have seen and read about people with an addiction to porn is that it started out rather harmless but then over time they became desensitized to what they were viewing and eventually needed to watch more or watch something different to more extreme. Take for example husband and wife married for several years both like to view porn, eventually they have a child the wife loses interest in viewing porn, the man continues. The husband falls into the trap of viewing excessive porn. This is what I believe the majority of the problem is with viewing porn. Just from one man’s point of view, I would rather spend my energy seducing my wife than watching porn.
Iconoclast Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I suppose excessive would be the point at which it negatively affects the relationship or individual. I've viewed pornography throughout a longer than 15 year relationship. My relationship is and has always been magnificent.
Recommended Posts