Author souvlaki Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 I think you are missing the point. Being a dick also GETS you women. So in some cases it's a win/win for a man. Don't underestimate the amount of low self esteem women out there that can be charmed by a little bit of attention, coming from dickish behavior or otherwise. A lot of men aren't looking for random sex, but long-lasting relationships with healthy women. Being a dick may win over some women with low self esteem or some chicks for random play, but it hardly leads to healthy long term relationships.
Str8noChaser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 If you date women, you should care. Not hang your self esteem on it, but make the effort to not be an a-hole. Emotionally healthy non-a-hole man and an emotionally healthy woman is ideal. The fact that OP pointed out he "lost" this girl and her stinging words, is why my rebuttal is, after all these years, he really doesn't care. He isn't sitting somewhere pinning over her. As for this Actually they made up the first girlfriend. He's been with the same girl since before he was famous. You should have directed that to the OP and let her know he's with the same girl who she is quoting and you now point out is made up. And bring me back to TT pointing out people getting their advice from a fictional made up movie.
Str8noChaser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 A lot of men aren't looking for random sex, but long-lasting relationships with healthy women. Being a dick may win over some women with low self esteem or some chicks for random play, but it hardly leads to healthy long term relationships. I never said a lot of men were looking for random sex. lol If we can stay on your original train of thought this will go a lot easier. You are now switching up. We aren't discussing the best way to have a healthy long term relationship.
Author souvlaki Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 If you date women, you should care. Not hang your self esteem on it, but make the effort to not be an a-hole. Actually they made up the first girlfriend. He's been with the same girl since before he was famous. No, she was real, and she did really dump him for being a dick. They just changed her name for the movie. Who knows, though, if his now fiance would have stayed with him if it weren't for his current status. From what I read, he was very unsuccessful with women and had virtually no friends before he became famous. Most average men who are dicks and socially inept can't rely on a glamorous future to make them more appealing to girls.
Str8noChaser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Everyone has to get thier sex somehow. To quote the infamous Borat... "how does a man get the sexy time". ...... Uh. Ok. Keep doing what you do and taking your advice from where you can get it.
Feelin Frisky Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 The taint of the a-hole infects all creeds and colors equally. (You like what I did there?) I'm Feelin Frisky and I approve your message.
Author souvlaki Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 is that women and "rather not say" gender LSers are not automatically immune from @ssholality. Not to point that at anyone in particular. Neither gender is immune from "@ssholality" but it seems to be a more common refrain among men on this board to blame their lack of success on being too nice or nerdy rather than looking inward and recognizing how their seething bitterness can alienate women.
TaurusTerp Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Neither gender is immune from "@ssholality" but it seems to be a more common refrain from the men on this board to blame their lack of success on being too nice or nerdy rather than recognizing how their seething bitterness can alienate women. You realize, of course, that you could flip men with women and all would remain true.
Author souvlaki Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 You realize, of course, that you could flip men with women and all would remain true. Yes, for some women, but in general women tend to internalize romantic failures more, while men project the rage outward at others.
Str8noChaser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Yes, for some women, but in general women tend to internalize romantic failures more, while men project the rage outward at others. Can you give an example of what you mean by projecting the rage outward?
GorillaTheater Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Can you give an example of what you mean by projecting the rage outward? They would say that all members of the opposite sex are *********s, as opposed to just half?
Feelin Frisky Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Neither gender is immune from "@ssholality" but it seems to be a more common refrain among men on this board to blame their lack of success on being too nice or nerdy rather than looking inward and recognizing how their seething bitterness can alienate women. ...Oh....
Cee Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Maybe I'm living in a world made of candy with rainbows and unicorns, but I know very few a-holes in real life. I think I can count the people I don't like on one hand, but they are reasonable and not bat$hit loco in social situations. I suspect 95% of people on this board are pleasant in person, even if they/we don't seem that way on LS. Maybe what I'm saying doesn't belong in this thread, but I wanted to put it out there before the war of the sexes ensues.
TaurusTerp Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Can you give an example of what you mean by projecting the rage outward? They make threads about how women need to change their ways, as evidenced by movies? Wait...
Author souvlaki Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 Maybe I'm living in a world made of candy with rainbows and unicorns, but I know very few a-holes in real life. I think I can count the people I don't like on one hand, but they are reasonable and not bat$hit loco in social situations. I suspect 95% of people on this board are pleasant in person, even if they/we don't seem that way on LS. Maybe what I'm saying doesn't belong in this thread, but I wanted to put it out there before the war of the sexes ensues. I think most people are nice until you get to know them. You learn a lot about people when you live with them or when you get really close to them. I believe that there are more as@holes than good people in the world, but most people fall somewhere in the middle.
Author souvlaki Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 They would say that all members of the opposite sex are *********s, as opposed to just half? LS isn't representative of the male gender. Naturally an online forum is going to attract a lot of bitter guys who have been unsuccessful with women looking for advice or looking to vent. I didn't say this applies to half of the general male population. It doesn't.
40 Fonzarelli Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Women LOVE azzholes. Azzholes get all the vagina. Then women get tired of getting played and then settle down with a nice guy. Only to cheat on him with another azzhole. So fellas...keep azzholing on!
Woggle Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Why are you equating his business success with his romantic life? His success will bring him a romantic life.
D-Jam Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 "You’re going to go through life thinking that girls don’t like you because you’re a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won’t be true. It’ll be because you’re an a**hole." OK, let's remove the idea that he becomes founder of Facebook and insanely wealthy to the point that he can "buy" a fashion model to be his girlfriend. In the world of normal average Joes, this will ring true SOME of the time. Why some and not all? Because this comes back to judging a person not by their words, but their actions. Look at how many *******s we've seen out there who get laid over and over by hot girls...because they still offer out many more things women want. So Zuckerberg could be wealthy, or chiseled, or just have amazing "game" and thus more women will run up to replace that last girl...thinking they can tame him into "wonderful man". Now if he ended up in some mediocre job and was still an ******* and not very good looking or wealthy...then I'm sure he would be alone. I'm not justifying a man to be a jerk to women...but I am saying that the "bitterness" many men have is because they tried to be the gentlemen their mothers taught them to be...only to get rejected while some douchebag got the girl. Thus you see the change. Face it, and I'm not saying you're one of those girls, but if women seem to keep rejecting men who respect them in favor of men who disrespect them, what do you think that teaches men? More men are becoming *******s because they see it works. That or they get like me where we drop out of the dating game and decide it's not worth it...that being a jerk to get a girl is "settling for less". A lot of men aren't looking for random sex, but long-lasting relationships with healthy women. Yeah...they're called "nice guys". Being a dick may win over some women with low self esteem or some chicks for random play, but it hardly leads to healthy long term relationships. Right, but it's still the neverending cycle. Hot/wealthy/exciting guy sees hot women left and right will jump into bed with him quickly in the hopes of "snagging him", so he sees he has power. He'll maybe screw up and the girl gets mad, but a smile and she forgives...thus he realizes that his charm can get him what he wants and he can do anything he wants to her and get away with it. She finally has enough of his lack of care and consideration and leaves him...but someone else quickly steps in to try to tame him. Thus he sees he can easily replace women, and he figures out that he's one of those men who can bang freely and never commit or show loyalty...but get women. He has no reason then to respect women or care about what they think. Plus I've noticed most of those guys adhere to the "I'll never marry" ideology. THEN...you have the guys who grew up in good families and had parents who never divorced, and thus they want to marry and live a family life...but they're not good looking enough, exciting enough, or wealthy enough to get the attention of the women. Granted they worked hard in school and built careers, but they're not in the levels of success these women want. Thus he goes every weekend alone and keeps seeing how his kindness and respect for women is rewarded. Worse off is when he gets older and finds his choices are the "damaged goods" left out there. The women who have been burned too many times by too many jerks and possibly knocked up by one of them. Now the point to this reply is to yet again address the neverending cycle of pain women keep bringing on themselves because they fail to think with their heads and instead think with their emotions. I used to see some voices of feminism telling women to "grow up" and "stop tolerating crap" and especially to "think realistically" when it came to men. Now it's all back to the victim card. Women are victims of misogyny, women are hurt by evil boys, women are abused, knocked up, abandoned, etc. I'm not justifying the actions of the ******* members of my own gender, but I am saying things are about reaction. If we men see being a "good guy" gets us nowhere, then we'll try what the successful people do. In this case, it's being a jerk or a playa. The day things change is the day you women stop putting out for the jerks, *******s, and douchebags. What would you women do if God came out of the sky and told you those members of the "20%", or all the guys who are 7-10 on the looks scale have been programed to never commit or respect women...but they will always be gorgeous, wealthy, and exciting...while the other "80%" who are 1-6 in the looks scale will commit, love, respect, etc...but will never bang like a pornstar and look like an adonis, nor will they ever be higher than middle-class? What would you pick? Alone and with guys who make your hormones go on fire? Or choose the sensible guy who never hurts you...and perhaps you both build a fire?
Surrealist Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Yeah and also nice guys (ie just typically good blokes) by default profoundly decrease their chances with women as they're not the type to manipulate or lie to women for their own selfish gain. Generally these guys are not interested in those kinds of women anyway. Their not getting laid as they are seeking suitable women for LTRs, but all the same, doesn't mean they are unsuccessful with women. I guess success is arbitrary, one man's success may be another man's failure and vice versa.
Citizen Erased Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Sometimes I think people like arguing for the sake of it. I'm sure Elmo or Big Bird said something you can all fight over too.
Str8noChaser Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Sometimes I think people like arguing for the sake of it. I'm sure Elmo or Big Bird said something you can all fight over too. It's a forum...who's "arguing"?
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