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Posted

I am in the beginnings of reconciling with my ex and my sister stepped over a line and sent him a text telling him that he better treat me good this time around. It came at a bad time, as we are in the beginnings of things and at that moment just happy with one another. So now, things have been a bit strained and he recently admitted to me he was upset over what she did. It has made him think a bit about us. Also he feels like he's being treated/seen as the bad guy which he is in a way but as I've decided to reconcile with him I feel that that's a moot point and was trying to focus on the here and now.

 

What should I do? I've all ready confronted her and let her know that it was wrong of her to involve herself with our relationship. I'm wondering what I should say / do about him? Should I just leave it alone and let him figure it out? Should I open up some more dialogue with him?

Posted

Just be straight with him. Tell him you were not happy with what your sister did, that you did not ask her to get involved in your relationship and that you have confronted her about it. It's important that he can see you are being honest with him and are unhappy about your sister's actions just as he is.

Posted

I have to agree with Anne, just be open and honest with him. If he is that uneasy and upset about a text that your sister sent meant as means to protect you then he isn’t very committed on trying to work things out.

Posted

If he is going to let a text from your sister ruin the reconciliation then he's not into it to begin with and is just using that as an excuse out. Maybe it certainly flustered him a bit, but there's no way he should let that ruin it.

 

Take the advice given here and just tell him how you feel about it. If he's going to continue to use that as an excuse why he's having second thoughts then it was a lost cause to begin with.

Posted
If he is going to let a text from your sister ruin the reconciliation then he's not into it to begin with and is just using that as an excuse out. Maybe it certainly flustered him a bit, but there's no way he should let that ruin it.

 

Totally.

 

Presumably, he must have done something bad enough to provoke her to get involved like that... it may not be the most appropriate thing for her to have done, but chances are that she was just concerned for you.

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Posted

KraftDinner - oh yeah he did

 

To all the rest of you - I agree. If he's going to let that deter things then he's not as committed to trying to reconcile as he claims.

 

He's been a bit distance lately so I did actually let him know how I felt about things. I also told him he should respond to her if it's bothering him this much. But overall if that's his game, to weasel out of it, then he can continue onward without me.

 

How long do you think I should give him to say something or to see if things ease back to normal? A week? I know it's ultimately my decision but based on your opinions, experiences, etc what's a good 'period of time'?

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