yoga18 Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 (edited) So I'm trying...trying to do some soul searching if you will. I'm trying to look at myself through another set of eyes to really look and see if I like what I'm seeing and there is a part of me that I don't like and I would like suggestions on ways to change old, repeated behaviors. A friend and I were talking about co-dependent behaviors in relationships. My guess is that more women have this "issue" if you will than men. There is a big part of me that feels independent and strong, there have been times rough, rough times that I made it through on my own without NEEDING someone else. So why do I feel like I need my boyfriend? I want him to be a wonderful extension of who I am, not the person that defines who I am. Part of this rant/question is that I realize for me that nothing in life is a guarantee so I try not to put all my eggs in one basket so to speak. I'm getting my masters but I thought long and hard about decisions that included my boyfriend...right or wrong I did. I got a second job bc I have a goal to pay off all debt by the end of next year, again part of it was based on my relationship. This is my thought process and I just think "well if things don't work out everything I'm working on will only benefit me in the long run. I also see so much hurt and pain on here I wonder are there co-dependent issues that may have soften the blow of someone leaving them? Would we care a little less and realize we deserve better if our SO cheated, would being more independent push us to say "sorry about the choice you made, moving on from you!" I'm just wondering how does co-dependency affect us and what are some rules or guidelines of being your own, independent, awesome self and having people in our lives that don't complete us but rather compliment who we are? Does anything I just stated make sense??? Edited October 22, 2010 by yoga18
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