Is she still into me?

[LittleMike]

Hey guys, this is my first post, ill try to make it as short as i can. Sorry if my english is not correct, this is my second language but ill try my best.

 

I'm 25 years old, studying electrical engineering and pretty much i'm a "good guy" and this is my story:

 

I met this girl about a year ago, beautiful, the most interesting girl i have ever met. She had just broke up with her 3 year boyfriend because he cheated on her, he tried contacting her but she always ignored him. Sadly she has had 4 boyfriends in total and all four cheated on her, 2 of them with the same girl. She has always been in serious relationships.

 

About 4 to 5 months after she broke up with him i started dating her because she was getting interested in me so we took it slow and hid it for a while (this is where the conflicts start). Her best friend also had an interest in me and she got really mad as soon as she found out i was dating her just because she called dibs first... I had no interest whatsoever on her best friend. She sometimes asked me if i liked her best friend, maybe she was pretty insecure with all the previous relationships.

 

Then her ex started sending her hate messages as soon as he found out saying that he wanted to kick my Axx and she was a Bxxxx so on and so forth. He stopped texting after a while. Anyways, she clearly stated she didn't want a serious relationship with me and i said it was ok. It was kinda strange because we hanged out and she would be everywhere but with my like if she didn't want anybody to know she was having a relationship with me. When i was alone with her she would always say how much she liked me and cared for me etc. etc...

 

5 months passed and i was already in love with her, I would stay at her house 2 or 3 times a week, she was always telling me to stay with her, she also stayed at my house sometimes. We made love 2 to 3 times a week and it was great. She was basically my girlfriend at this stage, her eyes where glowing with love and we did a lot of things together, we had a lot of things in common and i knew she loved me. We had some beautiful time together and she really enjoyed them. She always talked to her parents and friends about me, how intelligent, good looking and how good i treated her and made her feel. She was really happy being with me.

 

2 months later she received an email from her ex, i never got to read but she told me it was a goodbye letter. In the contents of the letter it said that she was a traitor to her best friend because she "stole me". As soon as she read the whole letter her smile dissapeared, she would no longer be the same person. She got pretty distant and wasn't herself by this time, maybe she was giving some thought to her life. She sent me an email saying we need to talk, i knew it was coming but i just couldn't accept it (This was on my birthday btw). 2 days later she dumped me after having 7 months of a perfect relationship. She dumped me in person and i took it like a man, but i was completely destroyed on my insides, it was the first woman i truly loved. She told me she didn't feel the same way and she wanted to be alone. Don't get me wrong, i've had other previous relationships but nothing as great as this one.

 

I was devastated, i didn't even get to tell her that i loved her, so i sent her an email saying exactly how i felt but respected her wishes and gave her some space and went NC. I started working on myself and started doing some heavy exercising, started hanging out with other friends and trying to ease my pain. Once in a while she would talk to me in facebook and ask me how i was doing but i was pretty angry at this time, not understanding what had happened. My NC wasn't strict so i would talk to her from time to time but just 2 or 3 minutes. we didn't see each other for about 2 months.

 

I had lost 18 pounds and was taking care of myself, i was pretty much a new person, everyone was telling me how good and strong i looked. I never travel so i went to NY with 3 good looking friends of mine just for fun and had a blast. I did a lot of things i never did, and soon all of this would be heard by her. When we saw each other after 2 months she kinda freaked out or was scared to talk to me so she started evading me(she told me later she thought i was mad at her). She saw me talking to other girls while we hanged out and she would walk by me with this serious look on her face. We weren't speaking much now, a simple hello, 1 minute chit chat and that was it. She looked pretty sad sometimes, and some friends saw it as well.

 

A friend of hers just broke up from a 5 year relationship and they started hanging out together and i mean "hanged out" 3 to 4 times a week, getting wasted, having fun, meeting new people and other crazy partying. I was pretty mad because we didn't have any kind of conversations so i went and talked to her and told her that i wasn't mad at her and were ok now, we talk but she always has an excuse to cut the conversation. She's working out and having fun which makes me happy because she seems happy now. She treats me like a friend just like when i was getting to know her but she doesn't want to talk to me or be with me for a long period of time.

 

She is always posting sad love songs in facebook. My question is: are they expressing her interest in me or her ex. I now understand i was some sort of pillow for her fall when she dumped her ex, she was sad, lonely and needed someone to talk to and that someone was me, i guess that makes me a rebound. friends tell me she asks about me but not frequently, she doesn't like people to know how she feels, but i can see some level of interest in her eyes. I guess her heart want's to but her mind tells her not to. Should i have lunch with her and talk about it? should i say anything specific? She's not the initiative kind of girl, i'm not that kind of guy too until i'm 100% sure. She's the if she loves me she wan'ts me to go to her.

 

In conclusion to this post, i'm passed the I need her phase, but i still love her and would love to be with her. I have gone out, met other people, dated, etc. My mind still thinks of her from time to time but i'm strong enough to go my way. I just wan't to know your opinions about all of this. Btw, she has absolutely no contact from her ex, she erased him from everywhere.

 

Thanx guys, sorry for being pretty long, love the website, been reading many posts, it's time for me to start sharing now.

Edited October 22, 2010 by LittleMike
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[Trovador]

With due respect, bro, too much drama! If I am going to undergo all that **** in a relationship I gladly will pass! Seeing a girl should be easy, confortable, peaceful... of course, there are troubles once in a while, but if all the time is just for feel bitter or sad I will be better by myself...

 

This also applies to these long love/hate stories... either she loves you or not, either she wants you in her life or not... if she does she must do whatever it is to keep you at her side, she knows your feeling, she knows what to do... but honestly, man, I'd have stopped seeing, talking to and worrying about this girl... you have seen all the red flags, the drama and the immaturity... go your own way, you are a good guy, you deserve (and will find) better...

 

peace...

[Don Ho]

I was devastated, i didn't even get to tell her that i loved her, so i sent her an email saying exactly how i felt but respected her wishes and gave her some space and went NC.

 

I had lost 18 pounds and was taking care of myself, i was pretty much a new person, everyone was telling me how good and strong i looked.

 

Should i have lunch with her and talk about it? should i say anything specific? She's not the initiative kind of girl, i'm not that kind of guy too until i'm 100% sure. She's the if she loves me she wan'ts me to go to her.

 

Sorry Bro, but it sounds like a lost cause. You SHOULD NOT have sent that email and told her that you loved her. That ALWAYS pushes them further away. WTF do you guys always do that?? It is NEVER how you feel about THEM, it's how they feel about YOU. Get it?

 

Good for you in losing weight and looking good!!

 

NO you should not contact her nor have lunch with her!! Stop using excuses like "She's not the initiative kind of girl". That's just a bunch of BS. If she REALLY wanted to contact you, believe me, she would.

 

Keep moving on Bro. You're doing a great job. Yes it still may hurt and you think about her. That's normal. No fixing that except with more time. Let her go and move forward with you life as you've been doing. You will meet another, probably better one, soon.

[LittleMike]

A friend of mine tells me she's always asking about me, she says i look better than ever now. I guess i have moved on a bit, i have no feelings in hearing about this, i guess i don't care anymore. I used to look at her facebook and that really does NOT HELP, but i don't do it anymore just because i don't want to.

 

Thanx for the help guys, i wanted some other points of view from people who have experience in this. I am currently moving on though there are still feelings for her, i have a date this wednesday with a nice girl, let's see how it goes.