What's his deal?

[Princess2]

Why would a guy repeatedly smile at/wave/single out a girl he was not interested in???

 

On top of that, flirt with her, tell her how she is "so cute" and "damn you look good, how old are u again?" etc. Also, saying we can go out sometime, and it never happens.

 

I may sound naive, but I know that it's a bad sign if he said we could hang out and we didn't. But I don't understand his point in even talking to me at all! He is 10 years older than me, and when I met him I was not even 21 yet. So maybe he was not trying to be a pedophile, which is good. But it's just weird.

 

I am shy around him. He is extremely wealthy and attractive and can get any girl. So, not that I have low self esteem but I already know how he is, so I never thought about it too much. But he always singled me out!! In a crowded room literally with hundreds of people and starts waving, smiling. Complimented me etc. I mean I've given up. But idk why someone would do that just for the hell of it.

 

Any thoughts? Was it just my age? He appears to be hanging out with girls that are like 6-7 yrs. older than him! I think to myself "wow that's odd, most guys like younger girls" ... but then I said he has a lot of $ so these girls are more established also. Because I am still in college.

 

When I mentioned things about age, like, "That I'm really not too young for him" (it was stupid I was 20 he was 30)...but he started laughing his ass off! lol! He was cracking up literally. Also when I turned 21 I told him that "I'm 21"...He said it is good for me to be getting old now. So I'm like "yea i'm trying to get there" and he starts cracking up again. lol idk! He is really nice but I gave up but I am just wondering. I had really liked him, he was really nice. Maybe he does that to everyone then or what??

[ascendotum]

From his actions that you describe, I definitely think he fancies you, though being outgoing, socialable and slightly flirtatious could be just his nature and he is like this with many people.

 

You describe yourself as shy so he could easily be barely getting any positive feedback from you in response to his waves and compliments. You wrote how he said 'we can go out sometime'..well what was your reaction to this? Did you say 'that would be nice' or 'I would like to do that'? If you just stayed quiet, then this guy could be getting the feeling that you could get creeped out with the attention from an older man, if he was to actually make a move on you (though it didn’t exactly sound it)

 

“mentioned things about age, like, ‘That I'm really not too young for him’”…this was a great ‘fishing’ line to throw out. His laughing response to me could be interpreted as neutral/positive. Maybe steer a future conversation in the direction you seem to want. Ask him more pointed questions about his love life, does he have a girlfriend, does he play the field with these older women, what types of women appeal to him, etc

 

If you are an attractive 21yr old girl then compliments and smiles from guys, even up to 30ysrs older than you will be the norm. He could easily find you desirable but given his social/business/family circumstances has no real desire to get involved in a serious relationship with a college girl. I assume he is not already involved in a relationship but you haven’t said that beyond he is hanging out with other women.

[Surrealist]

Just one possibility: He might be too shy to ask you out yet not too shy to flirt.

 

Definitely sounds like he fancies you.

 

 

Now why do I say this? Cos I'm the exact same.

[xpaperxcutx]

Just one possibility: He might be too shy to ask you out yet not too shy to flirt.

 

Definitely sounds like he fancies you.

 

 

Now why do I say this? Cos I'm the exact same.

 

A guy with money and looks is not shy. He's definitely playing games.

[Princess2]

Ok thank u guys very much for the responses. Let me add a little then...

 

To the last response about game playing, well yea that's why I never took him seriously! B/c I'm like CLEARLY just by his looks and status he can definitely get anyone! I'm not the type to chase after a man anyways, esp not him b/c you just know too many girls do already.

 

This is why I'm so confused. I will add that he (not longer does), but he was working with my dad at the time. And my dad mentioned once that he indeed was "very shy." I mean he obviously wasn't too shy to keep striking up conversations with me when he got the chance, asking me if "all the guys at my school like me" etc.

 

But I always shrugged it off, plus again I got nervous/shy around him. Then one time he was leaving (in his car), and I was in my car with a friend. He stops next to our car...I think to say hi?? But I thought it was weird so I didn't even roll down the window. Then he lowers his head through the window like to say "um hello?!" and I didn't do anything still, so he drove off.

 

I finally got his # from a friend (he asked my for mine but I never heard from him lol). And that's when he asked me to send him a pic and was like "so cute" "you look good girl" etc.

[Princess2]

And then he carried on the conversation. He said "your man must be very happy" I'm like "uh I don't have one...likewise for your girl"

 

He said he "doesn't have one" I'm like why not, he said he's not looking. So I said that's a shame. He's like no it's not. I was like lol um ok...u don't have gfs or what.

 

He said he does but not right now. He told me his last gf and she is very pretty and successful but she is older than him lol so I made a joke about it and ended the convo.

 

I think he wanted to keep it going b/c he still wrote me, and asked me to send another picture. So I did and he's like "damn you look good, how old are u again?" I said "20, you don't think it's too young, right?"

 

He didn't respond right away so I added, "Well it's not" -- so he laughed like "hahahahaha" ... he also laughed another time when I told him "Bye" (after something he said) -- cracking up again. It is kind of nice b/c I honestly wasn't trying to be funny during these times? But again I mean if he was really serious he would date me.

 

I told him I'd like to go out with him, but his reason for not going out was that "he hadn't been in town" -- which is true I mean he left the country and was in another state, but still...I still think there is something holding him back. Then he said that he would tell my dad "he's taking out his daughter" and I was like "no just don't say anything" :/ yea idk. I hope to run into him after I graduate here soon. That would be nice to just see him in person again...

[Fouts]

To be honest, from what you're writing, it sounds like he's a bit out of your league in the playa department. You have more of a chance of getting used than anything else. But, that being said, if you don't mind a fling, go for it !

[Princess2]

No way. I'm definitely not down for a fling. Him and his friends use girls that let them all the time. But I don't feel bad for the girls b/c they are gold diggers anyways.

 

I'll go back to my initial 'not paying him any mind.' I just think it's weird he kept talking to me like that. I mean even the only time I saw him with a girl he was still talking to me right in front of her. Thanks though, I agree.

 

Oh well, I am too young anyways. We are at 2 different stages in life.

[Princess2]

Wait -- can u elaborate on the 'out of my league in the playa department' comment? Now that i read some posts I want to know what that is. Is it because I sound naive and gullible?? Like he is obviously a player w/lines and I just fell for it.....??

 

Because I know he is a player. So are his friends, but I never messed with any of them or chased after b/c I knew this. I even used his friend (not in a malicious way). Honestly it's his fault anyways and I don't feel bad.

 

But everyone who sees how he interacts w/me was tells me to talk to him b/c they think he likes me. I started to think so also...but obviously he doesn't like if he doesn't pursue me hard. I just don't know why he's always looking for me? He is an odd person though I guess.

[Green]

Wait -- can u elaborate on the 'out of my league in the playa department' comment? Now that i read some posts I want to know what that is. Is it because I sound naive and gullible?? Like he is obviously a player w/lines and I just fell for it.....??

 

Because I know he is a player. So are his friends, but I never messed with any of them or chased after b/c I knew this. I even used his friend (not in a malicious way). Honestly it's his fault anyways and I don't feel bad.

 

But everyone who sees how he interacts w/me was tells me to talk to him b/c they think he likes me. I started to think so also...but obviously he doesn't like if he doesn't pursue me hard. I just don't know why he's always looking for me? He is an odd person though I guess.

 

You kinda sound silly in the way you are overly attracted and yearning for a guy that just flirted with you. A 30 year old guy who is good looking and sucessful really has his pick of women. Obviously he may just be shy but if he isn't shy then he's just not that into you.

 

My best advice would be to cool your emotions for this guy and not worry about it until he asks you our if he does.

[Princess2]

Yea that's fine. And I don't think he is too shy to ask me out. I mean he already said he wanted to go to the movies. I just think it's so strange if u are not into someone to keep giving them attention like that.

 

But I want the feedback, that's why I asked. Also because the guys I've been dating that are my age have been the worst!

 

So everyone telling me to talk to him, it makes me happier to think about him. Because I am often sad/shy when I end up seeing him, and he talks to me and is so nice. But like u are saying -- obviously can't be too happy about someone you're not even dating. ha ::delusional::

 

Thank you.

[D-Jam]

Why would a guy repeatedly smile at/wave/single out a girl he was not interested in???

 

On top of that, flirt with her, tell her how she is "so cute" and "damn you look good, how old are u again?" etc. Also, saying we can go out sometime, and it never happens.

 

I may sound naive, but I know that it's a bad sign if he said we could hang out and we didn't. But I don't understand his point in even talking to me at all! He is 10 years older than me, and when I met him I was not even 21 yet. So maybe he was not trying to be a pedophile, which is good. But it's just weird.

 

I am shy around him. He is extremely wealthy and attractive and can get any girl. So, not that I have low self esteem but I already know how he is, so I never thought about it too much. But he always singled me out!! In a crowded room literally with hundreds of people and starts waving, smiling. Complimented me etc. I mean I've given up. But idk why someone would do that just for the hell of it.

 

Any thoughts? Was it just my age? He appears to be hanging out with girls that are like 6-7 yrs. older than him! I think to myself "wow that's odd, most guys like younger girls" ... but then I said he has a lot of $ so these girls are more established also. Because I am still in college.

 

When I mentioned things about age, like, "That I'm really not too young for him" (it was stupid I was 20 he was 30)...but he started laughing his ass off! lol! He was cracking up literally. Also when I turned 21 I told him that "I'm 21"...He said it is good for me to be getting old now. So I'm like "yea i'm trying to get there" and he starts cracking up again. lol idk! He is really nice but I gave up but I am just wondering. I had really liked him, he was really nice. Maybe he does that to everyone then or what??

 

So you perceive he can get any girl...but does he get with a new girl every week or month?

 

If the answer is "yes", then he's viewing you as a challenge, but he probably won't commit after he's gotten you.

 

If the answer is "no", and you like him, then pursue it. Maybe he's looking for a real sign of "yes I like you". According to your post, it sounds like his advances were met with resistance. Good men will generally see this as "she's not into me". Playas will just keep trying.

[Princess2]

His last official girlfriend was very long ago. But I do hear he gets around. Honestly you can look at him and tell.

 

But I know for certain he does not take these easy women seriously because his friends were all saying it. They said "he is looking for a down to earth girl not after his money/status etc."

 

So when they said that I got kind of happy wondering if that's why he gives me attention b/c he knows I am not like that. And yes I am shy around him and was always caught off guard when he would talk to me. Then I FINALLY got his #, texted him myself. And he was being really nice. He asked me to send a picture.

 

First I said no. Then I sent one and he's like "there you go, you are so cute" and another time he said that I was "adorable", so idk I think that he thinks I am just so young maybe.

[Princess2]

I will say that now that I am a bit older, I'm 'over' I want a date with him otherwise he can keep it moving lol.

 

Next time I see him, he can save the flattery for the next chick if he does not take it anywhere lol.

[Seamless74]

From what you write... Sound like he very well may fancy you and think your cute but for the most part just seems like he enjoys the ego boost and thats just his normal way... Sounds like you ve definately put it out there in a fairly aggressive way if he hasnt pounced yet i think hes just jerking your chain...

 

 

Sometimes just like girls guys just like to flirt and be mildly sexual because:

 

A.) theyre bored

 

B.)theres no other attractive or semi-attractive female around

 

C.)theyre practicing or its just theyre natural way..

 

 

But i agree sounds like that dude would definately serve you up... probably a little too advanced for you at this point.. proceed with caution.

[Princess2]

Ok, I guess it's C. then

 

Thanks everyone.