amythan Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 (edited) Hi all, Long story short. I got the feeling my FWB was acting distant and I asked him if something was wrong. He said that the sex bit was confusing him and he could not see things straight but after some thought he understood he wanted to spend time with me. He also asked what prompted my email. I then .. I just could not control myself and i explained EVERYTHING. How i used to be happy with him but now i am feeling like a fool. That i felt i have nothing to say but wait he come around. That i do not want to be treated as a random girl. That i feel insecure and i never know if he changed his mind without telling me. I also said that i also wanted to spend time with him. He didn't reply but we exchange some texts where he was extremely caring calling me baby, his little genius and saying that he cares so much about me. Now what ? Do you think he got the impression I am done with him ? He is not interested anymore ? I feel i completely overreact and i do not know how to fix it ! Thank you for your comments. Edited October 21, 2010 by amythan
atlnay Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Now what ? Do you think he got the impression I am done with him ? He is not interested anymore ? I feel i completely overreact and i do not know how to fix it ! Thank you for your comments. If you were texting after the email and he was calling you pet names...what exactly are you trying to fix? As for what his impression is at this point...you haven't provided enough info, plus it's something you'll need to hear from him. We can all speculate and be totally off base. Just ask him...where do things stand and how would he like to proceed (yes sex/no sex) and see how that lines up with what YOU want. I asked you before what do you want form this guy and to be clear about that first before trying to figure out how he feels about you etc. You said: I have feelings for him but i am fine with the FWB arrangement. I want to keep him as friend if our casual thing is over. So has that changed? Are you no longer fine with the FWB? Do you no longer want him as a friend?
Author amythan Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Nothing has really changed, I am fine with the FWB and I am fine being friends - but maybe we would need time apart. I am just confused about the situation. I am under the impression that both of us are playing games and the situation is getting the best of us. If the arrangement is over we should behave as friends but from our exchange of emails it is not clear where we stand now. And bring the subject again makes me feel uncomfortable, as a crazy clingy girl
atlnay Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 If the arrangement is over we should behave as friends THAT is exactly what you tell him and why you need a definitive discussion and no more playin footsies under the relationship table...lol it is not clear where we stand now. And bring the subject again makes me feel uncomfortable, as a crazy clingy girl Well it also sounds like you wont be at ease till you know for sure and you will be behaving a bit differently which opens up a whole 'nother can of worms. How's this? "Babe, I know I keep bringing this up, and I'm feeling clingy and crazy and totally understand if you see me that way, but for the final time, so I can have some clarity in my life...what are we doing?" And once his answer is clear to you, THEN you table ever bringing it up again. Is that reasonable for you to try? Or is it easier for you to wait and see what he's doing first and trying to figure out what it all means? It's okay if that's the case, most people are uncomfortable with frank talks. And if that's your MO, I'll stop advising you otherwise
atlnay Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 One more thing, I just went back and reread some of your older posts, just for my own clarity and to get a better idea of what your situation is, and based on what you've written previously, I don't think you can handle the FWB situation. Sometimes, in the height of our emotions, our subconscious tells us what we already know and need to do. In each of your posts questioning your situation, you leave clues as to what you truly feel is best. Today you said: maybe we would need time apart. I am just confused about the situation Time apart might be the best thing for your emotions at this point. Go back and reread some of your old posts about him and see if you spot the pattern...hope you find the resolution you're looking for with him. Take care!
Author amythan Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Thank you for your time answering my questions I think that none of us are handling this very well and maybe i always knew that this is a mistake. Sometimes is just difficult to let go. I know we cares about me deeply but the friendship he claims is an illusion. I also care about him very much but without time apart we will always turn around the old pattern ...
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