She had sex with another guy 1 week before we went out

[Osirus]

Ok so i'm put in the situation where we've both proven we love eachother. I'm a virgin and so was she apparently. Earlier this week she told me she lied about her virginity and she did lose it. Trouble is she loved me at the time she lost it we just werent going out. This really bugs me because well. She loved me and still had sex with another guy...

 

She had sex aproximately a week before she asked me out and well i don't know wether to be suspicious or to just let it pass?

 

I feel a bit let down with her on how she wasn't honest but I also cannot believe it...

[2sure]

Well, most people have sex with one or two or several or many people before they find the ONE.

 

She may be the one for you and she may not be. If she is...wow...she will be the only person in your entire lifetime that you have sex with. Thats sweet. Unrealistic probably but sweet.

 

Now...if she turns out to be wonderful but...not the ONE ...you eventually will find another partner, and maybe another , and then some more until the ONE appears a year or ten down the road. And you wont be a virgin and neither will she. So...your girls virgin status is just something you just have to get over, besides she is pretty close.

 

But she lied. Yes.

Did she lie because she was young? Did she lie because she didnt want to disappoint you? Did she lie ...

 

Yeah, she lied. But it doesnt sound as though she did it to be deceitful.

Up to you to call that one.

[Osirus]

She told me she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to think she was a whore. So i'm guessings it's alright?

[Dexter Morgan]

Ok so i'm put in the situation where we've both proven we love eachother. I'm a virgin and so was she apparently. Earlier this week she told me she lied about her virginity and she did lose it. Trouble is she loved me at the time she lost it we just werent going out. This really bugs me because well. She loved me and still had sex with another guy...

 

She had sex aproximately a week before she asked me out and well i don't know wether to be suspicious or to just let it pass?

 

I feel a bit let down with her on how she wasn't honest but I also cannot believe it...

 

even though you weren't committed yet, you don't up and f##k someone if you think you have fallen in love with someone else and want a shot with them.

 

I'd say this clearly isn't the girl for you....move on to greener pastures.

[FructoseGrande]

Hit it and quit it.

[Untouchable_Fire]

She told me she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to think she was a whore. So i'm guessings it's alright?

 

No it's not alright!! She can't say that she loved you, but was sleeping with someone else.

 

Hey!!! Listen up! That is a HUGE red flag. If you don't pay attention to it your going to be very sorry some day.

[Untouchable_Fire]

So...your girls virgin status is just something you just have to get over, besides she is pretty close.

But she lied. Yes.

Did she lie because she was young? Did she lie because she didnt want to disappoint you? Did she lie ...

Yeah, she lied. But it doesnt sound as though she did it to be deceitful.

Up to you to call that one.

 

Huh? That makes zero sense. Zero!

 

She lied deliberately.

 

Also... what kind of person claims to be in love then sleeps with someone else?

[Treetopbaby]

even though you weren't committed yet, you don't up and f##k someone if you think you have fallen in love with someone else and want a shot with them.

 

I'd say this clearly isn't the girl for you....move on to greener pastures.

 

Loosing your virginity is a BIG thing!! Its not easy and 80% of first times are SH*T!! Loosing mine to the guy i was with at the time, genuinly made me hate him. It was horrible, awkward and painful. After i couldnt stand the sight of him and left. Even though i was a mutual decision to do it i still felt violated and vunerable after.

A lot of women KNOW the first time, is going to be painful and bad, i wouldnt want to loose it with a guy i really liked because of how it made me feel and relating those feelings against him.

Its such a big deal to some people and have you thought maybe she did it because she wanted to be better for you? to make it a nicer experience?

[Dexter Morgan]

Loosing your virginity is a BIG thing!! Its not easy and 80% of first times are SH*T!! Loosing mine to the guy i was with at the time, genuinly made me hate him. It was horrible, awkward and painful. After i couldnt stand the sight of him and left. Even though i was a mutual decision to do it i still felt violated and vunerable after.

 

which leads me to believe this girl wasn't a virgin...she just lied to the guy.

 

its like this, if she thinks she is in love with this guy, and she was a virgin, she doesn't go out and eff someone else just before committing to him.

 

a virgin doesn't think, "I'm a virgin, and I love him...so I think I'll go out and lose my virginity to someone else".

 

she lied, and OP can do better.

[BlueRidgeMTs]

I need to know more about your relationship with this girl PRIOR to your actually dating her. Because right now im inclined to say that its none of your damn business who she screwed BEFORE she went out with you.

 

im not saying lying is right, but im going through that right now. If you tell someone the truth about your past, no matter how dull it was, they will almost always find something that makes them jealous, angry, suspicious, etc. Im telling you, its almost like the kiss of death when we want to find out about and hear about our partners prior sexual relationships. NOTHING good comes from that, and we ALL know that!

 

Heck, i havent been with HALF the amount of people my current man has been with, but he STILL finds stuff to be jealous over in my old relationships. Yet, he has banged his fair share of chicks in his past while i was the boring one. Yet, all it takes is knowing about one person that I had a 'thing' with before i met him, and jealousy and crap comes out. Yet he was more of a whore in his past than I ever could be.

 

Seriously, if this girl only had feelings for you from AFAR, and was not seeing you, dating you in ANY shape or form, then what she did before you is none of your business. Maybe the chick was lonely or something, who knows. She was single..she could do whatever she pleased. It was wrong of her to lie, but i would give her another chance. You just dont know, women are made to feel like whores just because they have a sexual history, no matter how small of one they have. Its a double standard. Im not saying it was right of her to lie, im just saying i understand.

 

Again, id have to know more about your prior history with this girl, but If you guys truly had NO relationship at all when she had sex with this guy, wipe the slate clean, and tell her that she better not lie to you again. JMO.

[Feelin Frisky]

This sounds weird to me. I'm thinking: she was a virgin, she had feelings for you, she just up and gives her virginity up to someone else as if it's no big whoop and she's not a virgin. She comes back to you and tells you she lied about being a virgin BUT GOES SO FAR AS TO TELL YOU IT JUST HAPPENED ON YOUR WATCH. What's wrong with my picture?

[MalachXaviel]

When you're young, the idea of dating someone who's never been with anyone else seems wonderful and romantic, but it really doesn't matter that much. I'm not saying you should ignore everybody's sexual history (to me they're like job references) but you can't let one intimidate you.

 

Sex is different for women than it is for men. A lot of women relate self-worth to their past sexual experiences. She lied about it because she didn't want you to judge her, but at the same time if she can't talk to you about it, who can she talk to?

 

As for the issue of virginity, it's admirable to have it and give it to someone you love but at the end of the day, all this guy did was make it easier for you to blow his sexual performance out of the water. High school and College is some of the easiest competition you're ever going to get friend. Thousands "studs" walking around, sleeping with everyone, and yet most of em don't have any idea what they're doing. Take this opportunity to get some "career building skills".