hearttobreak Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 When a woman asks if I want some money for the dinner tab, is that a good sign or bad? Does that immediately mean she has no interest in me? I did some research online, and I received mixed results.
USMCHokie Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Nope...it's just the check dance...tell her that you've got it covered...if she insists on helping to pay, then tell her that she can pay for the next date...and just like that, you have a second date...
sugarmomma Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Some women are so used to be independent that they just like to carry their own weight. I will let a man buy me dinner but I may offer to leave the tip. Especially if I know I make way more than he does. But if he buys me a gift, I like to return the favor. Ask her out again and if she accepts, you won't have to guess whether or not she's interested.
skydiveaddict Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 She's just being polite..Say no thank you and pay for her. You will not cme off well if you dont pay for her
Author hearttobreak Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Some women are so used to be independent that they just like to carry their own weight. I will let a man buy me dinner but I may offer to leave the tip. Especially if I know I make way more than he does. But if he buys me a gift, I like to return the favor. Ask her out again and if she accepts, you won't have to guess whether or not she's interested. One said no. Second one said yes, then apparently changed her mind by saying maybe this isn't going to work. Yet, she still looks at my profile on chemistry.com.
Tres Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 It depends on a woman. For example, I am not making a lot of money, so, if I ask to split, it means there is smth very wrong with the man.
Andy_K Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 When I'm dating, if someone offers to pay I'll generally let them. If they decide this makes me 'cheap' and they lose interest, they can go take a running jump for being so judgemental and materialistic. It will be their loss not to see me again You shouldn't be going to dinner with a girl before you know each other well enough to have already established who pays for what
utterer of lies Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 When a woman asks if I want some money for the dinner tab, is that a good sign or bad? Does that immediately mean she has no interest in me? I did some research online, and I received mixed results. I would never accept that. I am the man, so I pay. If she doesn't like it that way...next.
Sauvignon Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 If she insists on paying for the 'date', that was not a date. Insisting on splitting a check is a friend zone. But remember, only if it is an 'insist'. If she goes for her purse, or asks how much it cost and you say you're covering it and she will not challenge it again, it was a simple act of kindness. That would mean she's saying that she had a good time and is also independent, not a wall flower you have to pay for all the time. Girls love to show their independence, especially on dates, just like guys do. But if she insists, unless it's a rare exception, she did not consider it a date.
carhill Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Perhaps not applicable to the younger set, but, at my age, if a woman offers as outlined in the OP, I'll merely show her the check and suggest she cover the tip. This tells me three things.... one, kudos to her for offering; two, can she multiply?; three, how generous she is. I'm nothing if not efficient Regarding interest, I'm more interested if I find *her* interesting. I don't worry about her feelings. She's a stranger at that point anyway. If I am interested, I will ask her out again prior to the date ending. If she's interested, she'll say yes. If not, not. Life goes on.
Sauvignon Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Perhaps not applicable to the younger set, but, at my age, if a woman offers as outlined in the OP, I'll merely show her the check and suggest she cover the tip. This tells me three things.... one, kudos to her for offering; two, can she multiply?; three, how generous she is. I'm nothing if not efficient Regarding interest, I'm more interested if I find *her* interesting. I don't worry about her feelings. She's a stranger at that point anyway. If I am interested, I will ask her out again prior to the date ending. If she's interested, she'll say yes. If not, not. Life goes on. Efficient indeed.
classof2014 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 More info needed. I have some female friends that will not date a guy (some exceptions exists) if he doesn't pay. I have other female friends that won't date a guy if he refuses to not pay (few exceptions also). It can go both ways.
lonestar190 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I think any woman who makes an ultimate decision on a second date on how the guy handles the check is probably not someone you want to date anyway. For me though, the best way I handle the check is when the woman offers to pay, I simply say "My grandmother would kill me if I didn't pay for a first date." Never had an arguments after, and even the most staunch women will give up the fight with that line. Makes the most awkward moment of the date into something that works in my favor.
flying Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I think any woman who makes an ultimate decision on a second date on how the guy handles the check is probably not someone you want to date anyway. For me though, the best way I handle the check is when the woman offers to pay, I simply say "My grandmother would kill me if I didn't pay for a first date." Never had an arguments after, and even the most staunch women will give up the fight with that line. Makes the most awkward moment of the date into something that works in my favor. You are absolutely right...any objection would wither and crumble into dust when met with that line. To the OP...it really is a crapshoot. I offer to pay out of politeness. Some women offer because they know they don't want the date to go anywhere else and are trying to be fair about it and not take advantage. Some women offer out of a need to control the situation. Some people are just being nice. It's confusing. I think you should probably just decide ahead of time how you want to handle the check, and then look for other cues about her interest in you.
tylerdurden Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Being an european I would consider it a very bad thing, it will be like "we share because we are friends"
Author hearttobreak Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Being an european I would consider it a very bad thing, it will be like "we share because we are friends" We're not in Europe.
FructoseGrande Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 When a woman asks if I want some money for the dinner tab, is that a good sign or bad? Does that immediately mean she has no interest in me? I did some research online, and I received mixed results. I don't know. Was it your understanding that you would get laid if you paid for her dinner?
Author hearttobreak Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 I don't know. Was it your understanding that you would get laid if you paid for her dinner? Nope. Just trying to understand what a woman means internally when she offers to pay. I get that a lot. So I do not know if that means she's independent or just writing me off. This is for future reference.
zerovandez Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Nope...it's just the check dance...tell her that you've got it covered...if she insists on helping to pay, then tell her that she can pay for the next date...and just like that, you have a second date... This works every time!
carhill Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Commendable, but not in my experience. Historically, maybe 2 out of 10 if I'm being generous. It is a very smooth segue so I give props for that
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