tbirdebbie Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Just 3 days ago my suspitions were confirmed that my husband is having an affair with my next door neighbor. By mistake I came across some emails actually starting in May, then just 3 days ago. My neighbor and I had a falling out about 2 years ago. She spread all kinds of rumors and gossip to the neighbors on the lane about me so I get snobbed by all. I told my husband how this women gossips behind peoples back and talks about everyone. Anyway, he always came to her defense anytime I said anything so I stopped talking to him about her. As time went on, I was not invited to picnics, bbq's etc. that we have always done with my neighbors for the last 6 years. I just brushed it off and ignored the ignorance. My husband uses my laptop to go on Facebook and has a habit of not logging out so when I go into my facebook his usually pops up. The first time this happened, it opened up to a facebook email that he sent to this women talking about how he loves her and everything was gonna be alright, and then also said something about when she left that morning she didnt say goodbye. This email lead me to believe at that time that they were having an affair and he had this women in MY house. See I work during the day and my husband works at night and at the time she didn't work at all. Well, over time I saw him next door in the yard with her laughing and talking. This really upset me because he knew how I felt about this women. Well, I started to play private eye and just waited for another opportunity for my husband not to log out again...Low and behold it happened. This time the email talked about dirty sex talk over the phone and over the instant message on FB which has been lead my husband to have phone/internet sex with her. When I read this I was horribly hurt then outraged. My first instinct was to go directly to the neighbor, but I didn't want it to escalate into a violent situation because I know she will deny it and knowing what I know that will probaly lead me to do something that I shouldn't. You see her husband is the Chief of the fire dept. that my husband is a member of and my neighber and her family all prance around like they are the most perfect family(Cosby's if you will.) I have talked with her husband about her gossiping and he really is blind to what she does. I have had a hard time these last few days keeping this inside. To top it off, When I leave to go to work I pass her coming into the lane so then I start thinking well her husband is at work and I am heading there myself and the both of them are home, so all day I am thinking are they having sex and are they in MY house doing it. I have made several hints to my husband that I know he is doing something wrong and it just leads to an argument, so there is no point. I have not said to him that I know who it is though. This is a very difficult burden to bear and holding it in trying to figure out what to do it really stressing me out. I live on a lane that has nine houses and everybody knows and hangs out together. I feel like such a fool and know that she is talking behind my back and the way this woman gossips she is probably talking about my husband. Please anyone out there, help me to figure out how to handle this.
aerogurl87 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Next time he leaves his facebook open, print out the emails and conversations and show them to her husband. It won't make him that blind anymore.
Ella whispers Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Leave your house like you normally do, park your car a block or two away and walk back. Hang out in a back room or side area and wait. Let them get into a compromising position and walk in with a camera and quick like a bunny take a picture. Go to her husband and show him, tell him everything and bring the printed email messages with you. Divorce him and live happily ever after once you heal.
Author tbirdebbie Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Next time he leaves his facebook open, print out the emails and conversations and show them to her husband. It won't make him that blind anymore. Thank you for the advice. I have printed the emails so I guess my next step is to go to her husband.
Maggotface Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I would absolutely go to her husband. Don't discuse this with your husband first (I'm sure he didnt discuse having sex with another woman with you) it'll be a fun little surprise for him.
Bambi28 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I cant beleive you are keeping this all to yourself, that must be horrendous I have recently started to suspect my bf of cheating on me after 7 years together, and every little thing i found, i immedately confrunted him about as i couldnt keep it in, i was so upset & mad, but now i kind of wish i had gathered up all the evidence, as now im still not sure whats going on and he is on to me checking up on him! As soon as you have enough evidence, i would confront him and leave, posting all your notes to her husband too. Stay strong
tinktronik Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I would absolutely go to her husband. Don't discuse this with your husband first (I'm sure he didnt discuse having sex with another woman with you) it'll be a fun little surprise for him. Ha! I love this.
reservoirdog1 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Thank you for the advice. I have printed the emails so I guess my next step is to go to her husband. Definitely. And make sure you DON'T show them to your husband first. Don't give him the opportunity to do damage control, make up excuses or explanations, or talk you out of it.
Minnie09 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Congratulations on keeping it to yourself for so long without exploding. This will give you time to gather more evidence, plus deprives your H of the opportunity to cover up his cheating. They haven't been warned, that's good for you! Use your knowledge to your advantage. Take them by surprise as soon as you're mentally ready to act. I like the idea of sharing all information with the neighbor's husband. Please make sure that you're mentally and emotionally strong enough before you do so!!! Hugs to you!
FructoseGrande Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Leave your house like you normally do, park your car a block or two away and walk back. Hang out in a back room or side area and wait. Let them get into a compromising position and walk in with a camera and quick like a bunny take a picture. Go to her husband and show him, tell him everything and bring the printed email messages with you. Divorce him and live happily ever after once you heal. Also, sneak into her house when no one's around and put chili powder into her lube.
Woman In Blue Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Wow - there's a shocker. People from the firehouse all hitting on each other's wives. LOL. Don't know what it is with these people but alot of them have a need to jump each other's spouses for some odd reason. You're husband's one lucky guy - you let him screw around with the neighbor's wife day after day while you go to work and keep silent. I'm going to assume that hasn't been working too well for you? I think it's time to get a spine and end their playtime. Show her husband what these morons are up to while you're both at work. I'm sure her hubby would be VERY interested in what one of his fireman brothers is up to (and his loose wife).
Author tbirdebbie Posted October 25, 2010 Author Posted October 25, 2010 Wow - there's a shocker. People from the firehouse all hitting on each other's wives. LOL. Don't know what it is with these people but alot of them have a need to jump each other's spouses for some odd reason. You're husband's one lucky guy - you let him screw around with the neighbor's wife day after day while you go to work and keep silent. I'm going to assume that hasn't been working too well for you? I think it's time to get a spine and end their playtime. Show her husband what these morons are up to while you're both at work. I'm sure her hubby would be VERY interested in what one of his fireman brothers is up to (and his loose wife). Well first off, thanks for the advice and secondly, I didn't allow him to have sex with the neighbor while I was at work! Before last week I had no solid proof only suspicions. I didn't want my anger to get the best of me when I confronted either of them, or her husband. I am now ready to do what is needed to be done and that is confront her with her husband at home and then file for my DIVORCE from the moron.
Jambalaya Posted October 26, 2010 Posted October 26, 2010 tbirdebbie - your self control and restraint is utterly incredible. Your husband must be a completely clueless idiot if he can't see beyond the end of his penis to how much rage you're bottling up.
freestyle Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Get your finances taken care of before you confront as well---get your name off the joint credit cards-stop putting your paycheck into a joint marital account--- It's time to protect yourself. You're very smart to play possum until you have concrete evidence, you may end up needing it in court--make extra copies, and don't store everything in the house...Do you have a trusted friend or family member you can leave them with? I'm so sorry you're going through this.
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