Ella whispers Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 In my 20's I was with a guy that was the bad boy type, just the wrong kind of bad boy. There are real ones and fake ones. The fake ones will degrade a woman in whatever way they are able to. The real ones won't ever degrade a woman. Fake bad boy: Criminal record, history of physical or emotional abuse in relationships, hot head or bad temper, easily hurt but turns it into anger. Real bad boy: Strong will and sense of right and wrong, the only history of abuse is two competitors equally matched, man vs. man when necessary, has control of his emotions and mind at all times, may also be easily hurt but communicates those feelings and works to resolve the issue or drops the chick on her ass. Women want a strong man, I think some men are not sure what that means and they take it to other levels and fall for peer pressure or become what society overall defines as bad. I do like bad boys in the real and right way. It just took me 10 years to figure it out.
Knittress Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I never understood why some women need to be lead around like a child.. It doesnt make me less of a Man becasue im a laid back guy who wants a relationshp to be 50/50 not me running the show but women look at that as a weakness... My opinion is that there are varying levels of dominance among people, and a woman generally is attracted to someone with a slightly stronger vibe than her - not too much or she'll think he's abrasive, too little and she'll think he's wimpy. The laid back guy just needs to find a woman who's more laid back than HIM. Though that's just a theory. That might be BS though. My dad is one of those gentle-types and he always goes for the dragonwomen. I think they like that they can walk all over him... I find the whole situation warped.
Mattock5656 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 all right, all right...i'll try to clarify. I love all men (unless he is total dick), but I only date kind, caring guys. However, I have a serious submissive streak in regards to sex. I'm sort of dominant in relationships, but love being dominated in bed. That has more to do with my own psychological issues, so perhaps I wouldn't have brought it up in this thread (which is a lot more general). Fair enough.....possibly make it to where the power is shared equally? Although, you weren't afraid to admit to your own insecurities, so kudos to you!!!
Mattock5656 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 In my 20's I was with a guy that was the bad boy type, just the wrong kind of bad boy. There are real ones and fake ones. The fake ones will degrade a woman in whatever way they are able to. The real ones won't ever degrade a woman. Fake bad boy: Criminal record, history of physical or emotional abuse in relationships, hot head or bad temper, easily hurt but turns it into anger. Real bad boy: Strong will and sense of right and wrong, the only history of abuse is two competitors equally matched, man vs. man when necessary, has control of his emotions and mind at all times, may also be easily hurt but communicates those feelings and works to resolve the issue or drops the chick on her ass. Women want a strong man, I think some men are not sure what that means and they take it to other levels and fall for peer pressure or become what society overall defines as bad. I do like bad boys in the real and right way. It just took me 10 years to figure it out. Ugh, sigh...Some of you females have it so twisted in your heads. "Real bad boy" you describe is a GOOD MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....I can't believe your using "real bad man" Essentially, you speaking from what society wants you to think...Since society has it so twisted that normal men have to be the so called "good bad man", I guess a normal decent guy can get lost.. No wonder, most men are following this "bad boy ideology" because its hammered into them from society and most females themselves. Then you say, "Women want a strong man" that shows emotions but yet society tells we are not allowed to show emotions. We get labeled as "sissys" or whatever. So, what should a guy do, despite the forces of society taking them over, and a ass load of contradictions getting thrown into the mix?
Ichi-boned Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 It's funny, there is this female that I talk to with in one of my classes in the University. Usually, I catch her before class and we usually talk about the class or random stuff...And every SINGLE time I talk to her she manages to bring her boyfriend into the conversation. I could be talking red Asian monkeys that I saw in the zoo, and she can manage to talk about her boyfriend in the conversation. (or bring it in somehow) I hate when girls do that. It's annoying as ****.
Knittress Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I hate when girls do that. It's annoying as ****. I agree, it's annoying. Some girls have nothing in their heads except their boyfriend-fixation, but THIS one might be feeling hit on and is subtly trying to remind the guy of her taken status. Just a thought.
Ella whispers Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Mattock, I know I described a good one. I guess I should have said badass.
Taramere Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 It never fails. I treated another girl like dirt. Actually she made me mad and I cussed her out. Not an ongoing thing. Now I am getting hit on by more girls at the store that I did it at. Women are funny. Women....do you like getting cussed? Does it make you horny? Sadism and masochism are two sides of the same coin. Some people restrict their sadism or masochism it to mature, responsible, consensual play. For others, sadism and masochism are a part of their everyday persona. A fundamental aspect of the way they treat others in their social and romantic life. Bullying or grovelling their way through the world. Again, sadism and masochism essentially come from the same place in the human psyche. If you are attracting women who are masochists to the point where they enjoy being bullied and abused in everyday life, then you are also attracting women who have a strong streak of sadism in them. Unstable people, who might make the switch at any time. In answer to your question....I like violent, abusive, angry thugs probably about as much as you like Lorena Bobbit.
Pyro Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I never understood why some women need to be lead around like a child.. It doesnt make me less of a Man becasue im a laid back guy who wants a relationshp to be 50/50 not me running the show but women look at that as a weakness... Its best to avoid those type. If all women looked at it that way then I'd still be a virgin and single. Not every woman sees it as a weakness. You'd be surprised how many love it.
Tim The Enchanter Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Five pages. And the troll looked down upon his work, and he was pleased.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 all right, all right...i'll try to clarify. I love all men (unless he is total dick), but I only date kind, caring guys. However, I have a serious submissive streak in regards to sex. I'm sort of dominant in relationships, but love being dominated in bed. That has more to do with my own psychological issues, so perhaps I wouldn't have brought it up in this thread (which is a lot more general). Even though you are a dominant type, you desire a more dominant man in the bedroom. I'm really glad the male population isn't divided into pansies vs. dicks. It isn't, guys. Really. You know that saying, "A lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets?" They need to make a guy version of that line. That could be what most women want - at least I do. I thought that saying was "you can't turn a Ho into a Housewife" o.O And I actually agree with you. But there is a vast difference between someone who uses these qualities to be protective and in-charge vs. someone who's being abrasive or an abuser. Seriously... How do YOU tell the difference? I ask because other women can't tell until they are getting punched in the face. So how do you know ahead of time? There is a big difference between being a strong, assertive 'leader' and being a complete douche. Please describe that difference from a female perspective? Why do guys somehow think "equality" means acting like a passive sissy? No, no, no. Equality means having equal voice in the relationship. So a woman who wants her man to be dominant wants him to 'be the leader,' but when she CHOOSES to speak up, have her opinion hold equal weight with his.[/QUOTE] That is a seriously stupid desire. I want a plane that converts into a car! Sounds great... but if I ever find one... it would be a crappy plane AND a crappy car. Two opposite traits rarely combine the way you want them to. My opinion is that there are varying levels of dominance among people, and a woman generally is attracted to someone with a slightly stronger vibe than her - not too much or she'll think he's abrasive, too little and she'll think he's wimpy. The laid back guy just needs to find a woman who's more laid back than HIM. Though that's just a theory. That might be BS though. My dad is one of those gentle-types and he always goes for the dragonwomen. I think they like that they can walk all over him... I find the whole situation warped. No... I honestly think your correct in this. Women tend to want a guy who is just a bit more dominant than she is herself.
Titania22 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Seriously... How do YOU tell the difference? I ask because other women can't tell until they are getting punched in the face. So how do you know ahead of time? This might seem a little off topic, but I feel I should address here why some men punch some women in the face. "A person will only be abused as much as they truly believe they deserve to." This statement probably will upset some of you, but let me explain. Firstly some people are genuinely subconsciously looking for an abuser, and some people are genuinely subconsciously looking for someone to abuse. These people find each other, and the abuse follows. The intensity and type of abuse that occurs depends on the people involved. I know this from personal experience, because I married an abusive man, but he never 'punched me in the face", ofcourse the next woman after me, wasn't so fortunate. She was used to being beaten, and has very low selfesteem. Me, I was raised that physical violence against women is wrong, but no one ever taught me about the other forms abuse takes. So he didn't raise a hand to me, because we both know I would have had him locked up immediately if he had. And trust, when I say he had been really tempted a few times. When discussing a topic like "why do women go for bad boys?" in such a general way, we are overlooking the psychological reasons why individuals choose the partners they do. We are each here to have different experiences and learn different lessons. Therefore there is no one type that everysingle woman on the planet will go for.
Taramere Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Seriously... How do YOU tell the difference? I ask because other women can't tell until they are getting punched in the face. So how do you know ahead of time? All a person needs to do is look, listen and find out who people are instead of wasting lots of time on telling them who they should be. People will generally tell you the less savoury stuff about themselves pretty quickly if you let them. It's very basic and obvious advice, but you can see by the way people continually express their wants, needs etc on this board how difficult it is to follow that advice in practice. All the time, people are putting up posts that might as well say "hello any scam artists out there. Here's an idiot's guide on how to sucker me in completely by pretending to be everything I want in a man/woman." I don't think women who get into abusive relationships are necessarily looking to be abused at all. I think in a lot of cases they just refuse to see what's staring them in the face. Filter out the warning signs because they really like the guy and they want things to work out....and nobody's perfect....and realistically, lots of men will lose it sooner or later and slap their wives/girlfriends....and actually it shows how passionate he is about me....and who else would want me now in any event? People who are just desperate for love and romance won't see things as they are, because they want the good feeling stuff rather than the truth. So instead of getting the truth and the facts quickly at the start, they learn them degree by painful degree.
dispatch3d Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 In my 20's I was with a guy that was the bad boy type, just the wrong kind of bad boy. There are real ones and fake ones. The fake ones will degrade a woman in whatever way they are able to. The real ones won't ever degrade a woman. Fake bad boy: Criminal record, history of physical or emotional abuse in relationships, hot head or bad temper, easily hurt but turns it into anger. Real bad boy: Strong will and sense of right and wrong, the only history of abuse is two competitors equally matched, man vs. man when necessary, has control of his emotions and mind at all times, may also be easily hurt but communicates those feelings and works to resolve the issue or drops the chick on her ass. Women want a strong man, I think some men are not sure what that means and they take it to other levels and fall for peer pressure or become what society overall defines as bad. I do like bad boys in the real and right way. It just took me 10 years to figure it out. Lol this thread entertains me. I wish I was good at analogies, but man there's something about women reasoning their emotional behaviours which is just baffling. Analytical guys just go wtf that didn't make sense. I'm so analytical too I used to get offended (I think?). Now I just find it interesting. Of all the female posters I'd say you are the most aware of what's going on. I'd say most posters here have no idea what they want (guys or girls!) it's just really evident when girls talk about it.... Anyhow, I actually worked with a guy who fit description number one EXACTLY. If I were to describe him to you I would have used the exact same descriptors. Which is very funny. I never doubted for a second the guy was good with women. And that guy 1 that is described is a complete douchebag or dickhead to any "nice" "normal" or whatever you want to call it guy. So you can only imagine and appreciate our confusion in the matter .
Mattock5656 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Mattock, I know I described a good one. I guess I should have said badass. For sure lol bad ass is a lot better....I didn't mean to point fingers at just you only, but damn the Good/bad guy terms we use today in society needs to just be gone lol. Usually, it makes no sense and its a attempt to label people. I'd say we either find attraction for someone or we don't. But of course, it isn't that simple....
Anela Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 uh, NO. I may **** a bad boy, but I'll never date one. My boyfriend knows how to do it. He's a bad boy during sex (when I went it, which is most often), but such a sweetheart in every other way. Uh, you do know that what you just said encourages guys to be bad boys. Be the nice guy who gets nothing, or be a bad boy and girls will **** you. She said he's a sweetheart who fulfills her sexually. He turns up the heat in the bedroom, and treats her well. That is *not* encouraging anyone to be an ass.
gypsy_nicky Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 (edited) OP is a troll. What you just did was fire off at a girl, it does not even constitute 'bad boy' behavior. 'Average dudes', 'losers', 'jocks' etc can all do this Sorry to say, but if you were not raised or have that natural disposition to be a 'bad boy' its pretty hard to pull off. For the guys here that say girls that are being treated like dirt are dirt, there's another breed of men that's called 'dirt catchers'= doormats, the 'nice' guys. Point here being is there is not 1 behavior that can make you a bad boy. It takes a certain temperament/upbringing etc to become one. Oh and it is proven somewhat, that women will always look and date the bad boys first. Edited October 21, 2010 by gypsy_nicky
Jannah Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I cuss at people if they are driving extremely slow and I am stuck behind them. Though, I do it in my car, but I am not opposed to yelling it out the window if I become really annoyed. So, I guess that makes me a bad girl. :bunny:
Cracker Jack Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I'm secretly in training to become a Bad Boy. ....as if I really know what a Bad Boy is supposed to be. Ha!
Taramere Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I'm secretly in training to become a Bad Boy. ....as if I really know what a Bad Boy is supposed to be. Ha! Ha!
Jannah Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Ha! George Michaels = boo hoo he had to be Gay...sigh
Taramere Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 George Michaels = boo hoo he had to be Gay...sigh God, I can safely say I never had a crush on George. Loved his music, but with all that booty-shaking, all that hair and all that projection of treat-me-rough-you-bad-boy longing onto the female gender...how could people have ever thought he was anything but gay?
Jannah Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 God, I can safely say I never had a crush on George. Loved his music, but with all that booty-shaking, all that hair and all that projection of treat-me-rough-you-bad-boy longing onto the female gender...how could people have ever thought he was anything but gay? Well mostly all of the guys appeared gay back in the 80's... He had a nice booty regardless: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu3VTngm1F0
Taramere Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Well mostly all of the guys appeared gay back in the 80's... He had a nice booty regardless: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lu3VTngm1F0 Damn...whatever it is, it's blocked in my country. Batten down the hatches. Lock up your daughter, because here comes another one. Your butt is his and he's gonna take you right... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnroWnC6seQ Yikes! RIP Michael.
Green Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Yes I hear you. My experience is that when I am feeling great and get out, I naturally am showing alot of sexuality, and I definately don't conform to society rules. I am not doing it to pick up, I am just being me, but you can see guys start swarming around me, until 1 makes contact. I would rather they all stay back and enjoy the view from a distance and when I see one I like, I will make it known (possibly non verbally). But I feel the assertive ones, just want to get there before some other guy does, and they don't give me a chance to build up my sexual energy. They just drain it, and I end up leaving the club to get away, because they don't take 'not interested' seriously. You see, if I saw a really attractive guy dancing at the club, I would be happy to enjoy the view for a bit, before even considering making a move. I have a feeling that a guy with a similar attitude, would be more appealing to me. So all that being said, being myself isn't working, because I need the swarm to take a hint. Sorry if this seemed whiney. The club isn't exactly the best place to meet somebody. There is a big difference between being a strong, assertive 'leader' and being a complete douche. Yeah and you're the one confusing it. Some suposed "nice guy" who works as an accountant and is an active member of the church ect. ect. could in reality be beating his gf/wife and be a real mean guy but that doesn't make him the image of a "bad guy" when it comes to sexual attraction. Sometimes to be an assertive leader you have to be a douche Most "alphas" in groups who all the women flock to allot of Men might call a "douche" but womens eggs are drawn to them I think its just people are conusing what a "bad guy" is when we talk about sexual attraction. And that brings me back to my first post in the thread. If you like being treated like dirt, then you are as good as dirt to me. So by all means, let those women be drawn to that. That's fine by me. I don't think anyone one deserves to be treated poorly and I consider that a respect issue for myself. I think that you are focusing a little to much on treating poorly as the criteria for "bad guy." like I said some boring accountant who met his gf/wife at a church singles group could be a really abusive person but that doesn't make him a bad boy for the purposes of this thread. This thread is more about being careless and not giving a damn about relationships which women do like. In my 20's I was with a guy that was the bad boy type, just the wrong kind of bad boy. There are real ones and fake ones. The fake ones will degrade a woman in whatever way they are able to. The real ones won't ever degrade a woman. Fake bad boy: Criminal record, history of physical or emotional abuse in relationships, hot head or bad temper, easily hurt but turns it into anger. Real bad boy: Strong will and sense of right and wrong, the only history of abuse is two competitors equally matched, man vs. man when necessary, has control of his emotions and mind at all times, may also be easily hurt but communicates those feelings and works to resolve the issue or drops the chick on her ass. Women want a strong man, I think some men are not sure what that means and they take it to other levels and fall for peer pressure or become what society overall defines as bad. I do like bad boys in the real and right way. It just took me 10 years to figure it out. I wouldn't go so far as to call people fake and real bad boys. Its just you find a certain type of badass attractive. Sadism and masochism are two sides of the same coin. Some people restrict their sadism or masochism it to mature, responsible, consensual play. For others, sadism and masochism are a part of their everyday persona. A fundamental aspect of the way they treat others in their social and romantic life. Bullying or grovelling their way through the world. Again, sadism and masochism essentially come from the same place in the human psyche. If you are attracting women who are masochists to the point where they enjoy being bullied and abused in everyday life, then you are also attracting women who have a strong streak of sadism in them. Unstable people, who might make the switch at any time. In answer to your question....I like violent, abusive, angry thugs probably about as much as you like Lorena Bobbit. The original poster himself seems confused of why he is attractive. It's not the abuse but the rawness that makes him attractive. Women are drawn to a guy who is just "real" instead of some fake person.
Recommended Posts