Lovebug21 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 11 months and he has always been really respectful of me and my plan to save sex for marriage. I've given him handjobs and he has fingered me, but nothing farther than that. We just went through a rough time where we broke up and got back together a few times. But now that we're good again he's really been wanting to go further. He keeps asking for oral, or why we can't have sex. I was born to my parents when they were 15 and 17, and that makes me nervous! But I want him to be happy. Should I say okay to oral? Oh, I'm a senior and he's a junior in high school. We live 45 mins away.
atlnay Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 If sex is that sacred to you, don't compromise your morals to make him happy. He's a healthy, horny normal 16/17 year old so yea the urge to have sex is immediate. Keep in mind there is a chance if you do have sex with him, you will break up. Not immediately and not solely due because of the sex, but you are both still fairly young and have a lot of maturing to do. Plus you have your whole lives ahead of the both of you. College, jobs/career, traveling etc. It's who you are and he can either accept it and what you are comfortable doing or not. Be strong! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 11 months and he has always been really respectful of me and my plan to save sex for marriage. I've given him handjobs and he has fingered me, but nothing farther than that. We just went through a rough time where we broke up and got back together a few times. But now that we're good again he's really been wanting to go further. He keeps asking for oral, or why we can't have sex. I was born to my parents when they were 15 and 17, and that makes me nervous! But I want him to be happy. Should I say okay to oral? Oh, I'm a senior and he's a junior in high school. We live 45 mins away.
that girl Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 A guy who is respectful of your desire to wait until marriage wouldn't be pushing you for sex. You don't owe him sex and honestly, it sounds like you would regret it if you did sleep with him. Maybe when you're 20 you'll change your mind about waiting until marriage, but you shouldn't sleep with someone because you feel pressured or because you feel bad for him.
Sabali Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 It's always a great idea to move slow in relationships. Never question this. It seems like you are doing enough for your age and this relationship as far as sex goes. Don't be pressured into sacrificing your principles. You are doing a great job for yourself and I am glad you are learning from your parents lessons. Many have to learn the hard way. It takes a special individual to learn from others' mistakes and avoid those mistakes themselves using what they have learned.
Author Lovebug21 Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Thanks That makes me feel a lot better about my decision...I just hope it doesn't get harder to stick to my morals, even though I know it will.
atlnay Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Thanks That makes me feel a lot better about my decision...I just hope it doesn't get harder to stick to my morals, even though I know it will. Yea, it will Mainly because you will have the urge yourself and as you get older and keep your morals, you'll be more of a challenge for some guys and the pressure will get more intense and creative...lol Try to ALWAYS keep in mind: "Is this my future husband?" and if you honestly can't see that happening, no matter how much you like him & you get butterflies, you'll stick to your morals. Good luck to you!!!
carhill Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 OP, IMO, you're moving at *your* speed. What I think happened is that your BF, while you were broke up, became more experienced with another young lady or ladies. His wholesale change about sex and you shouldn't have occurred in the vacuum of a breakup scenario. Something else has gone on. Was he a virgin too, prior? I ask because, generally, once a man (or boy) starts being sexual with women, he goes right there. That's the place. Prior, as a virgin, more paths exist, potential sex being one of them.
havehope Posted November 29, 2010 Posted November 29, 2010 don't compromise your morals to make him happy/stay like I did. Then you'll end up regretting something that you hold very special. If he leaves, then its his loss - you don't need a person like that anyways. Youll find someone who will value you AND your morals together. You're not the only person out there who wants to save it for marriage. All the other posters have good advice - good luck
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