Varadium Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Well, lately I've been struggling with my LDR, so I thought that it might be nice to finally get in touch with some others who face a similar situation as I do. Firstly, SO means significant other, right? Any other acronyms I might need to know? I haven't really had time to read a lot of these boards, which is part of the problem, so I dont know if anyone else can offer any advice to me. Even so, it will be nice to vent a little among others who can actually be empathetic. So... our story! We have been going at it for a year and a half now. I am now 18, and she is 16. We met while gaming online, playing a first person shooter (ironic right? lol). I live in Canada, and she lives in the US (some of many problems!). Just in August we finally got to meet for the first time in person. I flew down and stayed with her family for a week. Needless to say, it was quite the experience, and we had a pretty great time. Thats the digest version, as of course much happened since we started dating! Personally, I think we are in a worse situation then most others, but I think we all have a need to feel that is true; maybe it means nothing then . Essentially I'm just looking for people who have been in a similar scenario: I'm busy working and am in university. She is in high school. There is the age problem, border (immigration) problem if she wishes to move here, and there is the financial problem even more so because school is draining all the money I am able to save. Does anyone have a similar story they feel like sharing, or any advice for a situation like this? I am not looking to change my mind on my intent to be with her. Talking on here is a good stress relief, or at least I hope it will be:)
caramelday Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Well, I don't think you have it worse. I'm young as well, and all I have to say is be grateful that your parents allowed you to see each other, especially hers. I on the other hand, was not so lucky and I was in an LDR for about 2 years before we broke up, and we never even met. What troubles are you having in your relationship though besides what was mentioned?
Author Varadium Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 Thanks for replying:). Well, besides the logistical problems, we have had arguments before but we've always gotten over them and come out stronger afterwards. The problem I am having right now is actually a little different. I do not get jealous of her hanging out with other people. I do however get jealous when I see anyone else with their own partner. The other night it hit me pretty hard though when I saw Pretty Woman for the first time (it came out before I was born haha), and I was incredibly jealous of fictional characters! Part of that reason was because Julia Roberts actually resembles my girlfriend in looks and personality. Anyways, now I'm just struggling with jealousy of other people's relationships because I haven't been able to be with her. Luckily you and others on here are able to talk some sense, because like you said, I am not in the worst situation out there.
aerogurl87 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I'm young as well and I feel you on the the border problem. My boyfriend is in Canada and I'm in the States. We want me to immigrate to Canada to be with him, but that's proving to be a very difficult task. Oh yeah and he's 18 and I'm almost 21 (well I will be in 3 more days ) I agree with caramelday that you should be happy her parents let you two meet. Most wouldn't especially with a daughter at that age. But as long as you have their blessing to date, then good luck and welcome to LS. If you have a particular issue you want to talk about or just vent, feel free to post it.
Author Varadium Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 I think I might have to PM you soon about immigration. I've looked into it a little, but I'm sure you know more then I do at this point. How long have you been trying to move?
aerogurl87 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I think I might have to PM you soon about immigration. I've looked into it a little, but I'm sure you know more then I do at this point. How long have you been trying to move? Not very long at the moment. We've only been together 8 months so far, so we just started looking into it more after our first visit 4 months ago. But we're going to try and get me a temporary work visa first after I go back to get re-certified in his country for my job.
caramelday Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Thanks for replying:). Well, besides the logistical problems, we have had arguments before but we've always gotten over them and come out stronger afterwards. The problem I am having right now is actually a little different. I do not get jealous of her hanging out with other people. I do however get jealous when I see anyone else with their own partner. The other night it hit me pretty hard though when I saw Pretty Woman for the first time (it came out before I was born haha), and I was incredibly jealous of fictional characters! Part of that reason was because Julia Roberts actually resembles my girlfriend in looks and personality. Anyways, now I'm just struggling with jealousy of other people's relationships because I haven't been able to be with her. Luckily you and others on here are able to talk some sense, because like you said, I am not in the worst situation out there. Yeah, try and look on the bright side. As hard as that is, it helps to view other's situations, examine them, and come back to your own with a new set of eyes. When I was in an LDR, I almost felt the same as you. I wasn't exactly jealous, but I did give a sad smile to myself when i saw couples walking the streets hand in hand. I just tried to imagine how great it would be when I finally had that chance. For how long I waited, it would be worth it. How do you guys connect offline? Was the transition okay?
folieadeux Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Welcome aboard, I'm new too! My SO and I are in the same country and have a good ten years on you guys but the challenges we all face are very similar. Good to see you have parental support at such a young age and best of luck to you both!
Author Varadium Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 (edited) Well, because it had taken over a year to finally come together, I'm sure that you can imagine we knew alot about each other by the point we met. The most difficult thing was getting along with her family because it is a large family in a small house, they are mostly younger siblings, and therefore not mature. I was actually surprised at how easy it was to instantly connect with her though. I felt totally comfortable with her from the get go. I think part of this was because before I left my own house, I had told her my worries about meeting so we had a mutual understanding of what could be some problems, and of course naturally tried to overcome that. I am sure I am not educating anybody by saying that leaving is the worst feeling ever though. It will be a few months to a year before she may be able to come to visit me, if her parents permit it. To folieadeux: I had to write a letter, suck up to her dad, and make a couple calls before her parents would finally agree to me going out there to visit. You can imagine how hard it would be for them to let their daughter see a boy for the first time, when he is two years older then her. Edited October 20, 2010 by Varadium
caramelday Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Well, because it had taken over a year to finally come together, I'm sure that you can imagine we knew alot about each other by the point we met. The most difficult thing was getting along with her family because it is a large family in a small house, they are mostly younger siblings, and therefore not mature. I was actually surprised at how easy it was to instantly connect with her though. I felt totally comfortable with her from the get go. I think part of this was because before I left my own house, I had told her my worries about meeting so we had a mutual understanding of what could be some problems, and of course naturally tried to overcome that. I am sure I am not educating anybody by saying that leaving is the worst feeling ever though. It will be a few months to a year before she may be able to come to visit me, if her parents permit it. To folieadeux: I had to write a letter, suck up to her dad, and make a couple calls before her parents would finally agree to me going out there to visit. You can imagine how hard it would be for them to let their daughter see a boy for the first time, when he is two years older then her. I can DEFINITELY imagine. When I was planning to see my boyfriend, I expressed my feelings of nervousness to him, and etc. I'm happy for you guys, that another young couple actually got to meet and someone was okay with it.
Author Varadium Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 Aerogurl, how might I be able to contact you to talk about the border issues? If you dont mind of course!
Romance Posted October 23, 2010 Posted October 23, 2010 I was 17 and my bf was 20 when we began to date, my parents are supportive but his thought i was too young but theyre okay with it now. My parents allowed my boyfriend to come into our home and stay here but he had to come visit me before i could visit him, i guess to know he was not some 39 year old murderer. But he had guts(just like you) to come so far and walk into a house of people you'd never officially met before and a place you'd never been. With the parental support, Im sure you guys can make it! Perhaps she can go to university in the states.
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