Pikkles22 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I was just wondering what everyones take is on this situation: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year, and I know that the chemistry we have together is incredible. I recently graduated college, and I am looking for a job in my field, but of course in this economy no one is hiring. My boyfriend went to school for something he doesn't find interesting anymore (nothing wrong with that, it happens!), but now he feels lost and doesn't know what he wants to do with his life. We are supportive of eachother, and if being a garbage man (again, nothing wrong with that! ) is a job that would make him happy, I would be completely behind him. However, ultimately.. we both just feel lost. I'm this close to using my degree to become a waitress for the time being, and he has no idea what he wants to do. For a lack of a better way to describe it-- life just sucks right now, and because of that, it's bringing us down and making us depressed... We want to move in together, but of course we have no money to do so. I am afraid this misguided direction in both of our lives will negatively affect our relationship, as we have had fights about it in the past. It's like we are waiting for the other parts of our lives to catch up with how we feel for eachother, and my biggest fear is that our relationship will be ruined because we don't have our lives figured out yet... I'm just at a standstill at what to do about it. I just want us to get through this part of our life... and I don't want us to lose eachother in the process.
Insanitylater Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Your lives in my opinion have nothing to do with you guys fighting. I have the best job I ever had now. Years ago when I made half as much money I had good relationships and we never fought about stuff you are fighting about. Again its my opinion, but you shouldnt be fighting over such meaningless stuff. And how willing is your bf to settle for a job and be smart as you are settling for a lesser job for the time being?
Surrealist Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Probably not a bad thing that you are giving this aspect of your lives some serious consideration before making any further commitment. I have a degree in Exercise Science and a Post Grad Diploma in Physical Education. I taught in High School in a casual capacity for 5 years and hated it pretty much. Then worked for almost 2 years in Employment Services before finally getting a cushy job in the public service. I no longer work in any area related to my qualifications, so dont be surprised if this happens to either or both of you. Nothing wrong with it, but use your qualifications to market yourself to prospective employers, together with any other work experience you have. I think its a good idea you get a career sorted because let me tell you from experience, few things are worse than living out and renting and so on, with bills to pay, when you are in a job yuo hate or a job that readily leads to burnout. It will place tremendous stress on your relationship that will make your current arrangements seem like child play. Good luck with it. There is NO NEED for you guys to lose each other over this issue, but keep working at it together and provide each other support, which is what you appear to be doing.
make me believe Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Your lives in my opinion have nothing to do with you guys fighting. I have the best job I ever had now. Years ago when I made half as much money I had good relationships and we never fought about stuff you are fighting about. Again its my opinion, but you shouldnt be fighting over such meaningless stuff. I agree 100%. I was recently laid off from my job and my fiance is going through a bit of a crisis because he is not happy in his job, doesn't make as much money as he'd like, and is considering going back to school to get his Master's degree. We both feel pretty down about our job/career situation right now, but it hasn't affected our relationship at all. You & your BF should be there supporting each other, building each other up, and using this as an opportunity to grow as a couple & as individuals. My fiance and I have literally never had a fight about money or job stress or any of that BS. It sucks that neither of you are where you want to be now, but you know what? Your life right now is what it is. So what if it's not perfect? You guys don't need to have the "right" job in order to function as a couple or allow your relationship to grow.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 The original post sounds like too much moving around and around a Rubik's Cube that is already solved, just looking at the like-colored sides... and trying to further 'solve' anything. Stop looking at your relationship as some product of your employment fate. They matter to one another, but just give it time and do the best in the present that you can.
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