Mimolicious Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Well, how can I say this without really having to relive the moment. When my xH was exposed, he went from total denying to later on admitting to "some" flirting, till the next rumor came and so on and so on... and the story was on spinach all day long. One day he decided to ditch it all on me and tell me stuff that I honestly didnt need to hear. I kinda regret entertaining the conversation. He could have kept it classy. Anyway, I had to hear it from the horses mouth yet the statement ended with "I have loved you since the first day I ever saw you and will always love you". Right... To answer your question: Obviously, he loved, loves and will love his OW (beats me as to why, since she is so unbalanced. Dominican Voodoo is no joke!) more since he is still with her and living a shameless wreckless life.
jthorne Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 and the story was on spinach all day long. Okay, I consider myself to be relatively intelligent, but what does "on spinach" mean? Like spinnage? Like being spun? Like opposite the No-Spin Zone? Like a slimy green pile of ****?
Owl Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 I've kinda got two thoughts on this subject. First off is the compartmentalization that goes on. That tells me that he loves whoever he's with at the moment...because they're the focus of his attention, and so many times these MM/MW are experts at compartmentalizing. They focus on who they're with at the time...and put the other part of their life mentally "on hold". So when they're thinking about the OW...they're in love with the OW. When they're thinking about the wife...they're in love with the wife. My other thought on this is the investment theory. You tend to be "in love" with the person whose relationship you're currently investing into. So if you're engaged in the affair...you're "in love" with your affair partner. If you're fighting to keep your wife from leaving you on d-day, you suddenly realize that you're still "in love" with her. My wife told OM in an IM..."I can't do it. I can't be in love with two men at once. I find that I'm slowly falling out of love with (Owl), and in love with you.". It hurt to hear, but it makes sense when you realize that she was investing in that relationship at the time. When it came time for her to make a decision...and truly have to invest in one or the other...it was our marriage. And when she chose to do that...she began rebuilding her love for me.
Mimolicious Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Okay, I consider myself to be relatively intelligent, but what does "on spinach" mean? Like spinnage? Like being spun? Like opposite the No-Spin Zone? Like a slimy green pile of ****? Growing strong- boo...
jthorne Posted October 27, 2010 Posted October 27, 2010 Growing strong- boo...Oh! Thanks for clarifying. Sorry for the tj, herenow.
Fuggem Awlle Posted November 4, 2010 Posted November 4, 2010 My answer would be himself, more than anyone else. Generally, he's not getting enough of something in one place, and attempts to make up for that feeling of lack in another. It doesn't have anything to do with any of the women at that point in time, it's all about him. I am not trying to start anything volatile, but I really gotta speak my mind on this. A LOT of women run around hurt and whatnot because they got cheated on. I can understand that to a point, but why isn't anyone willing to admit they didn't do this, or do that to prevent something like that from happening when the warning signs were there? Sure, you may be a fantabulous wife, but if you're not having sex as often as he'd like, what do you think is going to happen? That goes both ways. If you aren't worth the spot you melted into the couch, but you have the best sex on either side of the Mississippi, what do you think is going to happen? Hell, it's just like genetics. If there's something missing, it WILL be compensated for in some way, shape, or form. You can take that to the bank. Then, you just have some people that are sexual butterflies, and will pollinate anything with a flower. That's not usually something that "just happens". Of course you have the women that mess with the married guys, and that's just action/reaction, but common sense ain't so common, is it? I think I'm babbling now...but in any case, the whole point is he loves himself. More than anyone else, and if everyone would stop being so selfish with A,B, and C, maybe nobody would go shopping at the ABC store.
Katharin Clifton Posted November 16, 2010 Posted November 16, 2010 I think before any of us go further into this discussion, it would help to define what LOVE truly is, which no one has done so which much clarity. I happen to come across an interesting article at the Nat Geog website which may interest all of us. It basically posits that we can only truly love 1 person at a time. http://science.nationalgeographic.com/science/health-and-human-body/human-body/true-love.html I am apt to agree with what the article says because when I was in the throes of my affair with my MM, I absolutely did NOT feel any love for my own H. I only had feelings for my MM. I have, however, ended my affair and have chosen to rebuild my relationship with my H. Do share your thoughts on the article after u have read it. I am sure everyone will benefit from all the sharing that takes place. Good luck to you all!
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