Jayerjay Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Long story, but I'll try not to type a novel. I'm 26, was only dating this girl for 7 months. She's a great girl, but I wasn't feeling that spark or "you're the one" type feeling. Things got rough with us during the last month (mainly due to me being unhappy from insecurities that this wasn't the right relationship), I gave it a lot of thought one night and decided to break up with her the next day. Started to get cold feet and texted her, kind of looking for a sign to keep things going, via text she said a few things that upset me and I broke up with her right there and then... via text. Awful, awful, awful, I know... my emotions got the best of me. Sooo, pretty quickly I regretted my decision. I called her same day, apologized (very sincerely too), and said let's just take a couple days to think about things... she agreed. And apparently her "thinking about things" meant agreeing to go on a date with some other guy, and by the time I talked to her again after a few days she wanted nothing to do with me and was ready to start seeing someone new. For about a month after our breakup I tried to get her back... made all the classic mistakes. At one point she sounded close to coming back to me, but it didn't happen and she pretty much snubbed me for a long while. So I went 2-3 months NC, and eventually we started talking again randomly via email (I initiated). Now we've been broken up for 6 months, open communication, not sure if she is still dating that same guy (I'm guessing she might be). She found out that in about 4-5 months she needs to move out of state for her job (she will eventually be back), and we agreed to have lunch or dinner before she leaves for good. I've dated 5 girls since we broke up. And am dating someone new now (nothing serious yet), but I can't get my mind off my ex and I know I made a huge mistake and that I'm in love with her. I guess what I'm confused about is whether I should take another real shot at getting her back or if I should just move on? It still really hurts knowing she was able to turn her back on me so quickly and easily, but I guess I am the bad guy in this situation and she had the right to do what she did? All I know for sure is that I'm in love with her and that I messed up, but as much as I show regret for what I did she does not show any. What do I do and how do I go about doing it? Thanks for the help.
Don Ho Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 She's a great girl, but I wasn't feeling that spark or "you're the one" type feeling. All I know for sure is that I'm in love with her and that I messed up. What do I do and how do I go about doing it? Well Bro, you were not into her until she dumped you after you dumped her. Case of you want what you can't have. If you had her now, you wouldn't want her and would dump her again at some point. Now you're in love with her. LOL. That's kinda funny. What do you do? Chalk it up to experience. Next time if it's a woman you don't have "that feeling" for then move on. Let her go and find another. Not what you want to hear, but it's the truth.
Author Jayerjay Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 Thanks for the advice. Yeah it's definitely confusing as to why I would feel this way once she is gone as opposed to in the relationship. The thing is, I've had a few women since her and it just makes me realize more and more that I was immature during our relationship and took for granted what I had. Do you think it's possible to realize all your mistakes and sincerely want to change for this person for a future together? Or is this a clear case of grass is always greener? It's just the fact it has been 6 months, and a few girls later that makes me think this is for real. Or maybe the right play is to just be friends with her, date other women, and if it's meant to be things will spark up again in the future when the timing is right? Let me know what you think.
Trovador Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 if it's meant to be things will spark up again in the future when the timing is right? That won't happen, ever... Cut your losses and go NC...
Author Jayerjay Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Interesting. So your advice would be to not even meet up for one last dinner before she moves out of state? Even if I decide not to pursue her and just be friends? At this point, being 6 months later and having a new girl I feel fine with acknowledging that we're not going to be romantically involved again and just having her as a friend. If you recommend not even seeing her again, should I tell her this and wish her luck with everything? I don't really see any problem with meeting her, as we're on good terms and neither of us hold any grudges. But I'm new to this so maybe there's some pitfalls that I'm missing. Thanks for any advice you have.
Don Ho Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 So your advice would be to not even meet up for one last dinner before she moves out of state? we're not going to be romantically involved again and just having her as a friend. should I tell her this and wish her luck with everything? If you have a new GF, you're over her, she's over you, you're not going to get romantically involved, then WTH is the point? Oh, that's right you're trying to fool yourself and still wanting her. No, don't meet with her. Don't wish her luck. Let it go.
Recommended Posts