neely Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 question.....how early into a relationship until there can be love??? instantly??.....i am in love.....is it too early after 3 weeks of getting to know someone?????.... Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Nope. I don't think so. I hit it after 2 weeks in my last r/s. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 Sorry to rain on your parade, but you don't know enough about this person to love her. In an awful lot of relationships, people think they are 'in love' in fairly short order. Many things are at play; first and foremost is that all you have seen are the good aspects of the person. Even if you see some negatives, your desire to fall for someone causes you to ignore them and focus on the good. It's easy to fall 'in love' with someone in the early stages of a relationship. To be truly in love, that love has to withstand the diminution of the effects of the 'love hormone', oxytocin. It has to survive through realizing that the beloved has flaws and bad habits. It has to endure problems and trials. Sometimes it does; very often it does not because once the initial glow wears off, the flaws can become annoying and cracks can appear in the solidity of your connection when you both react to problems. Kevin, you may have been one of the people whose initial affection did endure all these things for the time you were together, but LS is full of posts from people who felt exactly as you did at two or three weeks and then found that their love or their partner's waned because it was not able to hold up under closer scrutiny. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 I'm a walking contradiction. Link to post Share on other sites
dolphinsunshyn Posted March 2, 2004 Share Posted March 2, 2004 It think what you are descibing is "lust" at first sight. "Lust" doesn't always mean a sexual feeling. It just means you haven't seen the whole entire picture of who someone is, yet. It takes a while for that to happen. In my expirence, it comes normally after several months with someone. The beginning everything is so fresh and new. Your are running on horomones and wear rose-colored glasses. It is hard to see the other person's flaws when it is that early. I think it takes really getting to know someone inside and out.... the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you still see yourself spending the rest of your life with them even after the bad and the ugly, that is love. It is really important to see how you both handle your first disagreement, also. That can make or break your perception of someone. Love is knowing that you can conquor anything with that person. That you could let him/her into the deepest darkest parts of your soul and know that he/she will still love you after that. Love is unconditional. Link to post Share on other sites
cute-babes Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 HEY i WAS WATCHING TRISHA THIS MORNING AND ITS SOMETHING LIKE THIS A COUPLE SAYING THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AFTER 7WEEKS THOUGH, SOME PEOPLE SAID 'WELL TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM LIKE WHAT HOLIDAYS THEY HAVE BEEN ON WHAT BROCKEN BONES THEY HAVE HAD, WHATS THERE FAVE COLOUR FOOD DRINK, EVERTHING TO DO WITH FAMILY' YOU KNOW THAT STUFF AS IF TO SAY DO YOU KNOW THE PERSON WELL ENOUGH TO LOVE THEM YET? BUT........ SOMEONE ELSE SAID 'ITS A FEELING YOU CANT CONTROLL AND IF IT WAS YOUR INSTINCT THAT THIS IS THE RIGHT PERSON FOR YOU' PERSONALLY I THINK YOU CAN LOVE A PERSON THAT EARLY IN A RELATIONSHIP YOU CANT HELP YOUR FEELINGS CAN I ASK???????? ARE YOU TELLING EACH OTHER YOU LOVE ONE ANOTHER YET? XXJENXX Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 love must be a personal definition. I could say, "Your capital letters turn me on, I'm in love with you", but not after I've experienced the love that comes with a true understanding and willingness to move only in one direction. Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted March 3, 2004 Share Posted March 3, 2004 i have fallen in love in six weeks and over the course of five years. both were good. love is by definition subjective - i think people are concerned that it is easy to confuse romantic love with increased oxytocin production, and then get hurt by the other party, who is not in love. if people learned as much about luist and limerance as they do about traditional romantic love, we might have less confusion. all of that said, i think if you know exactly what you are looking for, you can fall in love relatively quickly. i would never doubt anyone else's conviction that he or she was in love, how could i? but i might point out that his or her partner may not feel the same. i love friends quite quickly. i don't mean in love - but i know within a few months if i will like someone's basic personality for life; i know if i will be loyal to him as a friend. i've been wrong a couple of times, but i like that 'fall-hard-in-friendship' quality in myself. i think longevity is a safe indicator of 'trueness' for me, in the way it is often an indicator of what is considered classic in literature, with all the reservations that attend such a proclamation. i see my long term love as more valid than my short term one. but this, is, again and of course, subjective. Link to post Share on other sites
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