What NOT to put in an online profile

[irc333]

Someone here posted for their OKC profile, they'd add something to it (a list of negative things) she decided not to, and it was a good move...here's a VERY good example of what NOT to put in your profile:

 

I have decided that I am sick of a few things. One I am sick of you guys writing things on your profile like please no crazy people, then you back that up with I give the girl my number and we text a few times and I hear nothing else. I am sorry to be the one to tell you this but if you have text back and forth a few times and talked on the phone and she isn't calling or returning your text, she doesn't like you!! She has realized that you aren't for her.

 

This does not make her crazy this makes her smart because she is running for the hills, now if she only knew you were calling her crazy that would cement her decision in NEVER returning your call or text.

 

(Chances are she is probably one of those women who flake, and stop texting/calling, and was offended by men who have a problem with this)

 

 

Second, I am so sick and tired of seeing profiles that say please no drama. Here is a little piece of advice for you men. If you do not want drama date another man!!!! I am sorry to tell you that no matter what women you are dealing with she will bring drama. It just depends on how much drama. So get used to it, embrace it and find a woman with a little less drama then what you have dealt with and I guarantee you, you haven't dealt with real drama.....

 

Third, I am sick to death of the men I turn down or do not return emails too. I am not a b*tch, I am selective and I have the right as does any other woman or man on this site to be selective in my search for love. If I am not returning your email I have read your profile and I am not interested. Why does it take a parade down Main Street and rainbows and clowns, to make it all better!! You were not rejected; rejection is a state of mind. You would had to of had me and been dating me in order to experience real rejection in the first place. Guess what we aren't dating and you aren't my boyfriend and I don't need to tell you why or give you reasons for my decisions. WTF, guys!!!

 

 

Fourth, I am going to make this as crystal clear as I possibly can, I am looking for a guy anywhere in the world it doesn't matter, if there is chemistry and it's meant to be it will be. I am looking for a guy who is taller then 6'0, no older then 40, not any younger then 33. I don't care about the color of your eyes, your hair or anything else like that, please have all of your teeth, please be clean cut, please have a great sense of humor, please do not lie to me or think that if you tell me what I want to hear we will be fine, because we won't!! We are all adults here people, no need to make up fairytales. I am far from perfect and I understand that my partner will not be perfect either and I am more then okay with that……

 

 

As for me I am smart, funny and attractive. I have a sarcastic sense of humor. I know when to take things serious but at the same time I love to laugh. If you think you can handle a passionate, fun, sexy girl then BRING IT ON!!!!

 

Agreed?

Edited October 20, 2010 by irc333

[Andy_K]

Actually, I couldn't care less that it's negative, I think it's a great profile because she's clearly put herself into it, spent quite some time writing it, but most of all because it's totally DIFFERENT to virtually every other profile out there.

 

I would probably write to someone with a profile like that, even if I didn't fit the 'list' of criteria, just to give her some positive feedback, make a joke or two, and see if she's friendly enough to chat.

 

I'd definitely sooner write to the above profile than one that just said she was 'bubbly, and likes to have fun'.

[irc333]

LOL....well, this profile exudes negativity.

 

And it sounds like I'm being lectured, anyone else in agreement, a fine example of what NOT to put in a profile, a bunch of whinining, complaining, and demanding? I want to read a nice profile, not be lectured to death.

 

Actually, I couldn't care less that it's negative, I think it's a great profile because she's clearly put herself into it, spent quite some time writing it, but most of all because it's totally DIFFERENT to virtually every other profile out there.

 

I would probably write to someone with a profile like that, even if I didn't fit the 'list' of criteria, just to give her some positive feedback, make a joke or two, and see if she's friendly enough to chat

 

Then she'd put you on that list of "idiot men that didn't read the profile, that emailed me anyway" category.

 

 

Actually, I couldn't care less that it's negative, I think it's a great profile because she's clearly put herself into it, spent quite some time writing it, but most of all because it's totally DIFFERENT to virtually every other profile out there.

 

I would probably write to someone with a profile like that, even if I didn't fit the 'list' of criteria, just to give her some positive feedback, make a joke or two, and see if she's friendly enough to chat.

 

I'd definitely sooner write to the above profile than one that just said she was 'bubbly, and likes to have fun'.

 

Sure, and this one follows it all up with "I love to laugh". lol

 

Actually, I couldn't care less that it's negative,

 

Interesting, I think that's the problem....men not caring that it's negative.....I think is why women can get away with the kind of profiles they have. Men will email them if they just see a pretty face. lol

Edited October 20, 2010 by irc333

[Andy_K]

It exudes negativity about online dating, which is perfectly understandable and doesn't necessarily mean she's a pain in the arse. It doesn't exude negativity about life in general, which would be a turn off. Hot girls have to put up with a LOT of crap online, some frustration is more or less inevitable.

 

Looked at another way... isn't it the kind of thing you could imagine having a good laugh about with someone on a date? How rubbish online dating is and how clueless most guys are? (thereby also making yourself look better) Trading horror stories about weirdos and such?

 

Then she'd put you on that list of "idiot men that didn't read the profile, that emailed me anyway" category.

 

Possibly. Or perhaps she'd feel happy that someone liked her profile and understood where she was coming from, but not write back anyway. Or maybe we'd exchange a couple jokes about the whole online dating thing under the understanding we're not a match and it would go no further. Or she might decide to ignore her list and get to know me anyway (believe it or not, this does happen). It might be fruitless, it might not. But it would only be 5 minutes out of my day to find out.

[utterer of lies]

I think it's a great profile text. She knows and communicates what she wants. Men who are turned off by it don't matter anyway, since they are not in the target group anyway, even if only for the fact that they are turned off by it.

 

You're not what she's looking for. That's ok. Doesn't mean she's not a cool woman.

[Pfiend101]

Sounds like a know it all bitch. No thanks.

[irc333]

Okay, Andy....I think this is why we probably might disagree, and I'll tell you why.

 

I had a profile, years ago, very similar to hers.....I think put it it up for critque on said dating site (their message board) only to be told to get ALL that crap off the profile, because it exudes negativity.

 

Not joking, dead serious....beleive me, I concur with this woman on certain things, perhaps this can be discussed on an actual date.

 

There are times when I had put in my profile, "What's with the women who email you back and forth, then when you go to get a date with them, they stop responding or do the disappearing act?"

 

I have THOUGHT the same way as this woman, but was told, quite vehemently, to keep it to yourself and off the dating profile.

 

I could put, "What's with these women's profiles who try hide parts of their bodies or angle shots? Please have a full picture of yourself or at least from the waste up, if I can't really tell what you look like with just your face squished in the picture or a pic of you poking your head out from behind a tree acting cute....please include a decent photo"

 

MOST of all, and I've been VERY tempted to put THIS in my profile, "What's these women who have been on this site for 10 years? The same women? I've emailed you before probably and had gotten no response, but you whine and complain in your profile on how you can't meet a decent man?"

 

But I don't do it.

 

I actually saw a whiney woman complain she'd been on the dating site before, was never satisfied with the emails, took it down, and realized where she lived she wasn't meeting men her age, so she put her ad back up.

 

I sometimes feel inclined in emailing them to perhaps tell them "Um...maybe your expectations are unrealistic? Perhaps you should not even bother with online dating, I emailed you LAST year, you never responded.....so I really don't know what your beef is."

 

But I don'tdo it.

 

There are countless profiles of the same women's faces within a 50 mile radius that seem to have issues meeting men, and then whinea bout it (like the above example like we have some nerve emailing her if we don't QUITE fit her criteria)

 

 

 

 

It exudes negativity about online dating, which is perfectly understandable and doesn't necessarily mean she's a pain in the arse. It doesn't exude negativity about life in general, which would be a turn off. Hot girls have to put up with a LOT of crap online, some frustration is more or less inevitable.

 

Looked at another way... isn't it the kind of thing you could imagine having a good laugh about with someone on a date? How rubbish online dating is and how clueless most guys are? (thereby also making yourself look better) Trading horror stories about weirdos and such?

 

 

 

Possibly. Or perhaps she'd feel happy that someone liked her profile and understood where she was coming from, but not write back anyway. Or maybe we'd exchange a couple jokes about the whole online dating thing under the understanding we're not a match and it would go no further. Or she might decide to ignore her list and get to know me anyway (believe it or not, this does happen). It might be fruitless, it might not. But it would only be 5 minutes out of my day to find out.

[Andy_K]

Absolutely... the rules for guys and girls online are unfortunately not the same

 

If you'd switched all the gender references round and said it was your profile, I'd have said you need to change it because you'll get no response whatsoever that way.

 

But also, there is a difference between complaining that the people you're interested in behave badly, and complaining that you're constantly being harassed by people you're *not* interested in who behave badly. This woman's profile leans far more towards the latter, which is what can be termed as a 'high quality problem' and automatically puts her in the position of high demand/being the 'chooser'.

 

Of course if a guy tries to say he's constantly bombarded online by girls he's not interested in, this just makes him either a model or a liar!

[Tim The Enchanter]

And it sounds like I'm being lectured, anyone else in agreement, a fine example of what NOT to put in a profile, a bunch of whinining, complaining, and demanding? I want to read a nice profile, not be lectured to death.

 

Well some people here seem to like what she's written, so maybe that was her intended effect. Personally, I think it makes her sound like a major pain in the arse, and with a big chip on her shoulder. She's cynical and whiny.

[utterer of lies]

Well some people here seem to like what she's written, so maybe that was her intended effect. Personally, I think it makes her sound like a major pain in the arse, and with a big chip on her shoulder. She's cynical and whiny.

 

Cynical, yes. That's a good thing.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I think it's a great profile text. She knows and communicates what she wants. Men who are turned off by it don't matter anyway, since they are not in the target group anyway, even if only for the fact that they are turned off by it.

 

You're not what she's looking for. That's ok. Doesn't mean she's not a cool woman.

 

I thought profiles were supposed to be your chance to sell yourself, i.e. describe who you are, what you like doing and what you want out of life. All she's done is rant for several paragraphs. That tells me a bit about her being ego-centric and self-important, but it tells me nothing about what we might have in common.

 

I see these kinds of rants much more frequently on the free dating sites, and I don't think that's a coincidence.

[Tim The Enchanter]

Cynical, yes. That's a good thing.

 

Only in moderation. Too much cynicism leads to bitterness.

[utterer of lies]

I thought profiles were supposed to be your chance to sell yourself, i.e. describe who you are, what you like doing and what you want out of life. All she's done is rant for several paragraphs. That tells me a bit about her being ego-centric and self-important, but it tells me nothing about what we might have in common.

 

I see these kinds of rants much more frequently on the free dating sites, and I don't think that's a coincidence.

 

I disagree. All these 'that's me' profiles are bland and boring and too much text. That's also the main problem with her... too longwinded.

 

The profile should contains a hook for starting a discussion with compatible people, not your life's story.

[Cee]

At first, I was appalled by her profile, but then I read it multiple times (which presumably an interested man would). Her specifications were precise, which makes it easy for a prospect:

 

Tall (over 6 ft)

Clean cut

Age 33-40

 

I liked how she didn't care about geography, which shows that she's serious about making compromises for a LTR. This woman means business.

 

As for her rants about messages, that was completely unnecessary. There are trollish type men out there (women too?) who like to pick fights when they don't get a message or get a rejection email. I've noticed that the most "out there" or strange men are the ones who argue. I had somebody rant that I was destroying planet earth by not wanting to join his polyamorous commune I wish I saved that email- I would've posted it for your enjoyment.

[Tim The Enchanter]

I would bet you anything that this woman is a major, high maintenance, pain in the arse.

[utterer of lies]

I would bet you anything that this woman is a major, high maintenance, pain in the arse.

 

Better a good high maintenance woman than a boring easy-to-please one.

 

But that's a matter of taste and preference, so discussions are likely futile

[irc333]

Better a good high maintenance woman than a boring easy-to-please one.

 

But that's a matter of taste and preference, so discussions are likely futile

 

I'm sure you don't mean that. (utterer of LIES) lol...unless you're just looking for a one-night stand with this woman, and as soon as she opens her mouth, out the door ya go.

 

Not sure how you see that as boring, that's not the right word to use actually. People who bore easily probably have a higher rate of divorce and short-term relationships.

 

People who bore easily not only make crappy lovers, but also crappy friends.

 

People who bore easily are an equivalent to a 6 year old who gets bored of a toy and wants a new one, not unlike most relationships these days. Get tired of the boyfriend/girlfriend, dump them to get a new one. They are into disposable relationships.

 

But I'm not sure how you equate "Boring" to "easy to please", not sure how they relate actually. How is this boring?

[utterer of lies]

But I'm not sure how you equate "Boring" to "easy to please", not sure how they relate actually. How is this boring?

 

High maintenance vs low maintenance (which is the same as easy to please).

 

 

I made the experience that high maintenance women appeal more to me, and women who easily pleased and do not require much energy start to bore me quickly (therefore the boring).

[irc333]

I made the experience that high maintenance women appeal more to me, and women who easily pleased and do not require much energy start to bore me quickly (therefore the boring).

 

Okay, so how is that boring? Let's try to break this down...I figured a woman who would be less boring would be fun, make you laugh, have a great personality, and even be positive. Perhaps not a dull personality, but more of an upbeat personality.

 

A low-maint woman can be all this and NOT boring at all actually, so I think the "boring" is an incorrect term and doesn't really factor into this.

[utterer of lies]

Okay, so how is that boring? Let's try to break this down...I figured a woman who would be less boring would be fun, make you laugh, have a great personality, and even be positive. Perhaps not a dull personality, but more of an upbeat personality.

 

A low-maint woman can be all this and NOT boring at all actually, so I think the "boring" is an incorrect term and doesn't really factor into this.

 

Did you read the part about preferences and taste?

[Tim The Enchanter]

Better a good high maintenance woman than a boring easy-to-please one.

 

But that's a matter of taste and preference, so discussions are likely futile

 

You seem to have a very black and white view of the world. Not being high maintenance does not automatically equate to someone being boring, easy to please or anything else. There is a whole region of grey area where the vast majority of women reside.

 

Good luck with the high maintenance women. You're welcome to them.

[irc333]

Good luck with the high maintenance women. You're welcome to them.

 

Defiantely, actually this is the first time in my life where I had seen someone actually ADMIT preferring high maint. women.

 

Either it's a mistake in the definition of a high mant. woman on their part, or they're masochists.

[flying]

So wait, is that her entire profile? Or is there any more?

 

I'm a woman, so not her target audience, but I agree that it's overwhelmingly negative. I think you can say that sort of stuff in fewer words, if you really want to express cynicism over online dating and look for like-minded folks - and that's fine. But the balance is way off; she should have devoted more time to saying who she is. I guess it seems unattractive to me, too.

[utterer of lies]

You seem to have a very black and white view of the world. Not being high maintenance does not automatically equate to someone being boring, easy to please or anything else. There is a whole region of grey area where the vast majority of women reside.

 

And where exactly did I say that there's only the two extremes? Oh, right, you just imagined that part.

[irc333]

yep, that's her ENTIRE profile...the bottom portion is the only normal part of the profile. LOL

 

The rest are just stats...age 33, "Single", has kids...., she's 5'9" (I don't have a beef about her ht. requirement either, makes sense......since she's rather tall herself....looking for long-term relationship...not much else to say.

 

 

 

So wait, is that her entire profile? Or is there any more?

 

I'm a woman, so not her target audience, but I agree that it's overwhelmingly negative. I think you can say that sort of stuff in fewer words, if you really want to express cynicism over online dating and look for like-minded folks - and that's fine. But the balance is way off; she should have devoted more time to saying who she is. I guess it seems unattractive to me, too.

Edited October 20, 2010 by irc333