NY87 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Hi everyone, I just need some advice and normally would ask friends, but to be honest I'm a tad embarrassed to admit to them I'm trying online dating. Anyways, I'm 23 and I've been casually trying the online dating scene for a couple of weeks. I'm on a dating site and see a guy I'm interested in, so I sent him an email on Friday, we exchanged a couple of emails then exchanged cell phone numbers that same day. We exchanged some texts friday evening, saturday afternoon,through a text, he asked me if he could call me, I said yes. He didn't but then called me the next day and explained why he hadn't called, we talked for about 20 mins (this was the first phone call) just casual stuff and exchanged more texts later that day. Monday, hadn't heard anything from him, so I texted him. He told me he was with friends and would call me later, hours went by and I thought he was blowing me off so just forgot about it. well he called me while he was with his friends to apologize for not calling sooner and told me he didn't want me to think he was blowing me off and would call me later when he got home. He did call me, but i was tired from lack of sleep the night before and the phone woke me up so the conversation was short but at the end of it he said I could text/call him the following day if I wanted to. Yesterday (Tuesday), I sent him a text just saying hi, how's your day going in the middle of the day. He didn't text me back until later, while I was out with a friend, and we exchanged a few texts. He does work full time and go to scool so I just assume he's busy most of the day and he knows when I get out of work so all of the communication on the 2 weekdays have been a couple hours after I'm off work. But during all of this, he hasn't asked/suggested that we meet yet. I mean, he seems like maybe he is interested since he actually calls and apologized when he didn't call when he said he would. It's been 4 days since the first email and 2 days since we stated talking on the phone. Have I just not given him enough time yet? Should I maybe suggest that we do something? Also, I only initiate contact through text and give him the option to call me if he wants to. Should I be trying to initiate phone calls to or let him do the calling? I've just not done the online dating scene much so I'm very unsure and need advice. I am very interested in meeting him because from the limited contact we've had he seems like a good guy and I'd like to see if we click in person. And I've read article saying the first meet should be set up after the first phone call and also if after a week of communication, he hasn't asked, he's never going to. Hopefully that's not the case because I would hate for this to end before it has a chance to really start.
utterer of lies Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Stop initiating contact. If he initiates contact, ask him to go out. Otherwise...next.
LoveAintEverything Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 why are you so frustrated over this when you have only talked to him a few times? You do not even know who this guy is...just let him contact you, then you will be able to know.
Author NY87 Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 why are you so frustrated over this when you have only talked to him a few times? You do not even know who this guy is...just let him contact you, then you will be able to know. I'm not frustrated, never said I was. I was simply lookibg for input, that is what this site is for right? I am asking because I know if I sit back and do nothing, nothing will come of it. It will come off as me not being interested. Downfall of trying online dating, can't show interest like you can in person.
utterer of lies Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I'm not frustrated, never said I was. I was simply lookibg for input, that is what this site is for right? I am asking because I know if I sit back and do nothing, nothing will come of it. It will come off as me not being interested. Downfall of trying online dating, can't show interest like you can in person. If he's interested in you, he will contact you. Always contacting him makes you look desperate and lowers your perceived value. Not contacting him will NOT make you look uninterested, as you did more than enough contacting him already. He knows.
FructoseGrande Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 If you are willing to have sex with him, then most likely, he is interested.
Author NY87 Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 Okay, i haven't tried to contact him in any way since he texted me last night so I'll leave it at that like you guys suggest. I wasn't planning on contacting him because like you said, I don't want him to think I'm desperate. Like I said I'm only casually trying the online dating thing, not investing a whole lot of time into it. I'm in no rush. So I'll let it be and if it happens, it happens. If not, oh well. Thanks.
Confusedalways Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 A rule I have honestly learned that has saved me so much time, energy and over analyzation: if they are interested, they will call/text/email. Fact. I know what it's like to be in your shoes-- but I would say his interest sounds mild at best. I hope he contacts you, so you at least get a chance to meet in real life. Good luck
Recommended Posts