zachary85 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Hi all, long time lurker, very occasional poster. I've recently had a little predicament that I need some advice on, and where better to get it? I apologise in advance that this is a little long-winded, but I want to be as thorough as possible. A bit of relevant background (not trying to big note myself): I'm 25, about to finish uni, own my own business, have a good car. Never had a girlfriend as I was either too much of a nerd while at school and too busy with my career since. Slim and average looking. So recently I caught up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while and was invited to a birthday party. At the party were two American girls who have been backpacking around and planning to stay here as long as they can. After I was introduced to the girls we spent the rest of the night chatting (sat at the same table, etc.) and one of the girls (we'll call her T) gave me a LOT of attention. Now I did notice that she was a very outgoing and super friendly person, but it felt like I was given even a level above. She told me I was cute and she liked my hair. There was a lot of flirting, touching (rubbing legs, hands rubbing backs) and we got on really well. I found out she loves cars so I dropped a line about my good car early in the conversation, which went down well. Other friends at the table were asking me about my business and stuff, which was great advertisement for me without having to boast So end of the night we all part ways. These girls are staying with the friends of mine and only T's friend has a cell phone here, so we swapped numbers. I told them I'd be in touch the next day and we'd do something. The next afternoon comes along and I give them a call. We agree to meet up at our mutual friends' place and we go out for dinner with a bunch of other friends. This time there's not much chance for flirting with T, but I give T a ride to the dinner destination (one a two seater car) and we have some brief discussion, even a little about sex. I tell her I'm still a virgin (Christian upbringing, but now just waiting for the right person) and she's not phased by it. End of the night all is well and I get hugs from both American girls. So at this point I'm feeling pretty happy with myself and figure I'm going to see how I can progress things with T. I figured I'd wait a couple of days and then invite here for a drive around with the roof down (we'd had really terrible rainy weather up until then). My friends confirm that a couple of days of no contact is the best way to "play it cool". So I try to call T (via her friend's phone) three days since I'd last seen them. No answer. I tried a couple more times that afternoon but still no answer. The really confuse things I'm getting one of those novelty answering messages, and at the point where it plays back the person's recorded name, it's some other random person's name. OK play it cool Zac...... I wait another couple of days and try again. Same result. So I just send a text along the lines of "Hi, how's your week been, will have to catch up again some time". No response. Wait another couple of days and try again. No answer. It's now been a week and a half. I know for a fact that they are still staying with friends of mine, but I don't know what the story is with this inability to contact them. I've come up with two scenarios: 1. Something happened to the phone. But T knows that I am friends with the people she is staying with, so if she wanted to contact me she could get my number from them. 2. I've been subjected to serious flaking. I've been strung along by girls before, and had people altogether drop contact with me, but never after acting as interested as this girl did. I really felt like we had something going. So with this inability to contact I have come up with one possible solution: facebook. I looked T up and through some facestalking could see that even though she is backpacking she is keeping updated. So based on this logic it's expected that if I sent her a message on facebook she would definitely receive it. I asked friends about this and got a 50/50 response of do it/don't do it. Bottom line here is that I don't care if T has gone cold to me, I just want to know either way, because the suspense is killing me! I really struggle to believe that over the course of a couple of days both of the girls could have gone from very friendly to ignoring my calls/texts. I also get quite anxious when I can't get a hold of people (see the having people drop contact with me in the past, above). So hopefully those who have put in the effort to reading all of this will have some words of wisdom to impart. For this I would be VERY thankful! Zac
Author zachary85 Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 Anybody? The uncertainty is really killing me!
that girl Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 So I try to call T (via her friend's phone) three days since I'd last seen them. You don't play it cool with people on long haul back packing trips, they might just up and leave one day. If the phone is playing someone else's name, it might have been a pre-paid mobile they got rid of. Facebook and ask her out. If she doesn't respond, let it go.
dispatch3d Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Meh I wouldn't bother with the facebook crap. Maybe try to hang out with that friend of yours again who they are connected through.... if possible. I definitely would have only called the number like twice. Sounds like you called 4-5 times. Way more than I do.
SecretSquirrel Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 The first time you called, to meet up for dinner after the initial meeting, did you call your friend, or the girl's phone? Is it possible she flat out gave you the wrong number? I wouldn't Facebook her; at this point I would assume she wasn't interested. At the most I would try to hang out with the friend they are staying with and find a sneaky way to see what's up through the friend, without being direct.
Author zachary85 Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 Thanks for the responses! OK we've got some varying advice here but I think we've got a solution. You don't play it cool with people on long haul back packing trips, they might just up and leave one day. If the phone is playing someone else's name, it might have been a pre-paid mobile they got rid of. Facebook and ask her out. If she doesn't respond, let it go. They are planning to stay in Oz for a while, and using my town as a base of operations. I am prepared to let it go if I have to, but I want to know where I stand first. Facebook seems to me the most practical and logical solution, but I understand not everybody would feel that way. Meh I wouldn't bother with the facebook crap. Maybe try to hang out with that friend of yours again who they are connected through.... if possible. I definitely would have only called the number like twice. Sounds like you called 4-5 times. Way more than I do. The whole game of how many times you can call just seems really juvenile to me. I wanted to catch up, so I called a few times over the course of a week. Big deal? This may be a solution though - I can catch up with the mutual friends on the weekend. The first time you called, to meet up for dinner after the initial meeting, did you call your friend, or the girl's phone? Is it possible she flat out gave you the wrong number? I wouldn't Facebook her; at this point I would assume she wasn't interested. At the most I would try to hang out with the friend they are staying with and find a sneaky way to see what's up through the friend, without being direct. Nope, the very first time I called the phone that the American girls are sharing and they answered. If I did catch up with the mutual friend it would probably be at the place where the girls are staying, so I do worry about potential awkwardness if I have been given the flick.
SecretSquirrel Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 If I did catch up with the mutual friend it would probably be at the place where the girls are staying, so I do worry about potential awkwardness if I have been given the flick. It's your friend, right? I would do that and just play it cool - be nice to the girls if they are there, but not flirty.
Author zachary85 Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 Yep it's the friend through which I met the girls in the first place. Sounds like we have a plan then. If the girls do happen to be there what do I say to them? Do I ask if there's something wrong with their phone or what?
Recommended Posts