I am Devasted and torn apart. Going through a hard time.

[coist]

I see my response prompted a direct act from you. Listen, we unconsciously put ourselves in these tough situations for a reason. Picture climbing down a man whole that's very deep, dark and cold. Now the further you go down, the more tougher things would get. We believe it or not do this type of stuff all the time. The reason could be applied to a spiritual matter of growth and lessons we need to learn. I picture you doing this. You are spiritually climbing down a deep man hole just to get hurt and to punish yourself just to see what if feels like to hurt.

 

Sometimes many of us don't make it back to the top because we went down too far. When this happens this causes the physical body to become sick filled with diseases of all sorts including negative issues in our lives that often times leads to death. Good thing our creator loves us enough to give us the opportunity to be reborn again so that we could hopefully learn of these current lessons and banish them.

 

Now this is by no means to offend anyone nor an attempt to sway anyone to believe what I believe in...these are just my own personal opinions.

 

Now back to you....the only way out of this man hole you have climbed into there is a way out but since it's been several months and you say you feel worse then it's time to imploy spiritual help. Here's what you do:

 

At night before bed, pray. Ask your God for his assistance in this matter. You must grant him PERMISSION to send his angels to assist you because the angels can not interveen without your PERMISSION. Here's an example:

 

"HEAVENLY FATHER, I HAVE FOUND MYSELF STUCK IN THIS MAN HOLE. I'VE CLIMED TOO DEEP AND HAVE GOTTEN LOST ALONG THE WAY. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SEND YOUR ANGELS TO MY RESCUE AND TO HELP ME TO LET GO OF (STATE HIS NAME) AND TO FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE AND FOR YOU TO HELP ME TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR MY TRANSGRESSIONS".

 

Pray in your own way but make sure you state the word "PERMISSION" because if you do not give the angles permission then they can't help you.

 

You are stronger than you think and I do understand your pain simply because I'm dealing with the same thing but it hasn't be 10 months....more like almost 5 months. Yet I believe in myself and the power of God and thought.

 

Say your little prayer at least three times a day luv. Within two days of doing this you shall notice something in your mind and welbeing. A strength that you never knew you had. You don't have to settle for some one if they appear not to give you the love you deserve. You must love yourself and shift your focus from him back to you because in reality it is you that has created this reality not him. Your spirit wanted to go deep into the pit just to see what it feels like and to develop your self worth.

[Am4Real]

I see my response prompted a direct act from you. Listen, we unconsciously put ourselves in these tough situations for a reason. Picture climbing down a man whole that's very deep, dark and cold. Now the further you go down, the more tougher things would get. We believe it or not do this type of stuff all the time. The reason could be applied to a spiritual matter of growth and lessons we need to learn. I picture you doing this. You are spiritually climbing down a deep man hole just to get hurt and to punish yourself just to see what if feels like to hurt.

 

Sometimes many of us don't make it back to the top because we went down too far. When this happens this causes the physical body to become sick filled with diseases of all sorts including negative issues in our lives that often times leads to death. Good thing our creator loves us enough to give us the opportunity to be reborn again so that we could hopefully learn of these current lessons and banish them.

 

Now this is by no means to offend anyone nor an attempt to sway anyone to believe what I believe in...these are just my own personal opinions.

 

Now back to you....the only way out of this man hole you have climbed into there is a way out but since it's been several months and you say you feel worse then it's time to imploy spiritual help. Here's what you do:

 

At night before bed, pray. Ask your God for his assistance in this matter. You must grant him PERMISSION to send his angels to assist you because the angels can not interveen without your PERMISSION. Here's an example:

 

"HEAVENLY FATHER, I HAVE FOUND MYSELF STUCK IN THIS MAN HOLE. I'VE CLIMED TOO DEEP AND HAVE GOTTEN LOST ALONG THE WAY. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SEND YOUR ANGELS TO MY RESCUE AND TO HELP ME TO LET GO OF (STATE HIS NAME) AND TO FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE AND FOR YOU TO HELP ME TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR MY TRANSGRESSIONS".

 

Pray in your own way but make sure you state the word "PERMISSION" because if you do not give the angles permission then they can't help you.

 

You are stronger than you think and I do understand your pain simply because I'm dealing with the same thing but it hasn't be 10 months....more like almost 5 months. Yet I believe in myself and the power of God and thought.

 

Say your little prayer at least three times a day luv. Within two days of doing this you shall notice something in your mind and welbeing. A strength that you never knew you had. You don't have to settle for some one if they appear not to give you the love you deserve. You must love yourself and shift your focus from him back to you because in reality it is you that has created this reality not him. Your spirit wanted to go deep into the pit just to see what it feels like and to develop your self worth.

 

You've got to be kidding me...this is the most ridiculous thing I've read in a long time...

[coist]

The post or my response was not directed towards you. Why cause conflict if someone were to offer some comfort towards another? You're comment is redundant and could have been kept to yourself. Obviously you're not on here offering any type of help for the original poster so with that said......YOU KNOW WHAT...NEVER MIND, I wont stoop to your level. My goal is to help not criticize.

[rose45]

thanks for the advice..i did try praying awhile back but it was for things to work out with me and him..i'm not really into prayer so much right now.

 

anyway--i didn't say i feel worse..i said it felt worse when we had no contact at all..when i didnt even know what was going on..and that was after the original break up..i enjoyed talking to him this year and wish we would have seen each other a couple of times to see if anything could be again..he said the break up was hard and he didn't want to go through that again..but i told him if it was hard for him it was 10 times harder for me..for obvious reasons which he says he can believe that.

 

It just makes me feel sad because she is coming right during the perfect time..the holidays..christmas and nye, valentines day..obviously she will meet his mom...

 

i just wish we would have seen each other before he met her even if it didn't lead anywhere.

[Am4Real]

The post or my response was not directed towards you. Why cause conflict if someone were to offer some comfort towards another? You're comment is redundant and could have been kept to yourself. Obviously you're not on here offering any type of help for the original poster so with that said......YOU KNOW WHAT...NEVER MIND, I wont stoop to your level. My goal is to help not criticize.

 

Read up hun and try again...

 

that's right...you sugested she pray threee times a day and everything would be alright...I like the WIZZARD OF OZ told her ot click her heels threee times and she would be back in Kansas and feeling fine in no time.

 

Seriously, you really believe GOD was going to swoop down and fix her troubles. Unreal!

[shayan]

thanks dreaming

[Am4Real]

I see you have no wisdom non what so ever. I see you like to be confrontational with that you have a low self esteem which causes you to start bestowing your ignorant negative thrashing. Obviously you are a trouble maker as well and what you put out shall return unto you. It's called the law of attraction.

 

I do not have to explain nothing to you nor justify my reasons for sharing with the original poster my ideas or different methods she could try. I am here to help, inspire those that are having trouble getting over a loss of love. You on the other hand are trying to start childish mess.

 

From this point on I will ignore your negative comments. You can write whatever you desire about me for my God sees all and knows my heart and intentions. Good bye.

 

Easter Bunny + Santa Claus + Jesus Christ = God (and all the rest of the fictitous God inspiring characters). Yep, really sound advice. Hope you didn't use all of your 16 posts on such inspirational wisdom!

Edited October 26, 2010 by Am4Real

[Trovador]

Hey Am4Real, don't stoop to Preacher level...

 

You were here trying to help Rose before he appeared on his white horse...

 

And, prayer man, in the black book says tomething like: Physician heal thyself...

 

If those prayers were useful you wouldn't be here, and it is irresponsible to advice someone to pray to some deity, implying that people don't have to do anything else for themselves... wellbeing is an individual responsibility...

 

Sorry Rose for this off topic, post, you know we have been listening to you, at least...

[Am4Real]

Hey Am4Real, don't stoop to Preacher level...

 

You were here trying to help Rose before he appeared on his white horse...

 

And, prayer man, in the black book says tomething like: Physician heal thyself...

 

If those prayers were useful you wouldn't be here, and it is irresponsible to advice someone to pray to some deity, implying that people don't have to do anything else for themselves... wellbeing is an individual responsibility...

 

Sorry Rose for this off topic, post, you know we have been listening to you, at least...

 

Good morning Trov,

 

Thank you for the words and clarity – they are much needed here.

 

Rose, this somewhat off topic but I think it is VERY important to mention my position when we are commenting on how to interpret your pain through reflection on our “relationship” experience and successes in working through similar situations.

 

We’ve had many threads in these forums where religion and/or faith are support mechanisms; I cannot recall anyone taking exception or forcing ridicule upon one leaning on their inner beliefs during similar hard times. However, NEVER and I repeat NEVER have I witnessed a poster give direct religious instruction and imply tunneling communication specifics (RE: without specific words the Angels will not hear you or come to your aid, etc) in such a way. These type of advisements give the reader or O.P. false hope for some form of instant relief.

 

When such instructions are given (see below in the re-post of the supposed prayer and qualifier for the prayer, not to mention other posts in this thread insinuating prayer as the “fixer”) I have an issue.

 

And besides, exactly what “transgressions” is Rose asking forgiveness for…really, did she violate a particular law or a duty or moral principle, or overstep some boundary or limit.

 

Please, this person did nothing of the sort and need not ask for forgiveness for anything…hence my original remark as this being one of the most ridiculous pieces of advice I’ve ever read still stands.

 

From the poster are these words:

 

[highlight]"HEAVENLY FATHER, I HAVE FOUND MYSELF STUCK IN THIS MAN HOLE. I'VE CLIMBED TOO DEEP AND HAVE GOTTEN LOST ALONG THE WAY. I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SEND YOUR ANGELS TO MY RESCUE AND TO HELP ME TO LET GO OF (STATE HIS NAME) AND TO FORGIVE HIM FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE AND FOR YOU TO HELP ME TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR MY TRANSGRESSIONS".

 

Pray in your own way but make sure you state the word "PERMISSION" because if you do not give the angles permission then they can't help you. [/highlight]

 

I suppose it’s a moot point if Rose would agree with the poster but in the ensuing thread she said she does not follow the advice of these spiritual words.

 

In the end, as you mention TROVADOR, let’s return to listening to Rose who again I apologize for being so far off topic but stray only to restate the intention(s) we have here on L.S. to deal with whatever relationship issues arise with actual relationship material.

[rose45]

when we broke up, that first year i tried the dating site..since that time i must have met about 15 people and not one was honestly worth dating or i wasn't attracted and i can't force myself

 

This past year with talking to him, i took a break from the online dating..only meeting 2 people..one i spoke to for about a month but we just kind of lived a little too far and had different schedules..other than that it might have worked for a little while.

 

It just makess me feel even more regret over what i had..i just miss him so much..sometimes i just want to see him before december knowing it won't lead to anywhere..

 

it just makes me think i was so horrible he wouldn't see me..a friend said if i was that horrible he probably wouldn't have taken my calls..i know i was young and inexperienced but still..i should have known better

[Am4Real]

now as far as you two ignorant people "4real and the poster above u...get out and read a book or better yet count leaves on a tree. your negativity does not faze me.

 

Please re-read all posts and ensuing comments, they are filled with advice appropriate to the subject and O.P. from the established members.

 

Also, we do not personally insult each other in these forums but do state exceptions with advice given or other statements as long as they are relevant to the issue. That is the purpose of a public forum and open-threaded communication.

 

Your grammatical errors and spelling mistakes make the post hard to follow at times, however I understand you are a religious man who embraces all and enjoys insulting other posters who disagree with you – I got it!

 

p.s. turns out you cannot ignore me after all and that makes me giddy and joyful. Have a heavenly day!

[rose45]

i really just don't know how to live with this regret..the warnings were there, hints, words..and i just didn't really believe it would lead to that point or that my actions would cause a break up

 

And now looking back i would give anything to be doing what we used to be doing knowing i would be more laid back about alot of things and more secure..and i would give anything to be able to because there would have been even more good things between us

 

if i had changed in even the slightest bit he would have stayed..its a 100% feeling i have just from knowing him back then..if i had done just a few things very differently..he would have thought wow, she is trying

 

I dont know how to live with that regret...

[Cratsky]

I've just come across this thread.

 

Rose, you might find this helpful because I too felt regret for over-extending myself in a relationship but as previously mentioned, this happened because I needed to learn more moderation in my life. Everything happens for a reason hun.

 

Anyways, whenever you are feeling this pain/regret/loss you should ask yourself:

1: Do I feel this (insert emotion)

Think/feel it through and then ask yourself:

2: Will I let this go?

 

It will become evident whether you truly want to let this go or not. If you are consciously saying NO to question 2, then you know that you are trying to hurt yourself. Why are you worth punishing? Do this as many times as need be.

 

Remember, you were happy being single before this person came along. You will emerge again a more resilient person. The lessons you will learn will make you a better person in your next relationship. Isn't that a good thing?

 

We can choose to see the cup half empty, or half full. What are you choosing?

[IfiKnewThen]

Rose i beat myself up too for the things i did ....the things i then didnt do. these ex's have us walking on egg shells.....our love has us walking on egg shells. one person said you were giving too much over to him...always asking to meet up etc. yet you didnt NC for 10 months. so thats NOT being weak. believe this one truth. YOU DID IT ALL with the knowledge or lack of knowlege (by not knowing how he'd react at the time. you did MORE>>>>>>>>>>>>>so much MORE than most people. you tried EVERYTHING basically. some people on here cant say that at all. they did one thing and whatever. but you tried various things and various times.

 

basically when a man loves a woman...he comes back...tries...goes to the ends of the earth. if he is emotionally stunted or scared or indifferent it wouldnt work anyway. you can ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY control so much.

 

so therefore, do NOT regret anymore. that will NOT change things and only make your life suck. and i fully agree with coist to keep praying. not for forgiveness but for continued wisdom and strength and to move away from this person. i know he seems soooooooooooo freaking perfect. they all do. but they are NOT and they are DIFFERENT now. you mourn the old him. and you know you could have done better so your frustrated. but you did what you could do at the time or knew to do..or dared to do or not do. we all mess up. if he cant see that and forgive it and take you back or meet you or give you a chance he doesnt want you anymore period. ask God for strength and please please move forward. go one day at a time. you cant live in the past. we cant live in the future. get through this day. find happiness in what remains in YOUR life without him. you dont need him as a friend. hes not a friend. hes not your lover anymore. he was someone in your life once that you loved dearlyyyyyyyyyyyy and deeply and even if you still do....that is in the past. please take this one day you have and stop kicking yourself. use diversion to stop thinking of him and someday it WILL call come into perspective for you. you WILL wake up and say.....there IS another life out there for me and i can find joy in it. please please go with that. effective immediately..before you regret NOT doing THAT!

[rose45]

well then it probably proves how horrible i was if he made up his mind a long time ago to never go back

 

i know he made mistakes at times but i really was too much at times and i regret it..He knew i loved him dearly and still do but i guess it doesn't make up for what i have done.