Egychick Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 (edited) my ex and I broke up a little more than 4 months ago. I really had a hard time for about 2 1/2 months. I finally got out of my depression and sadness and wallowing and started to meet new people. I even started having a crush on a new guy...who was actually good for me. Things didn't work out I guess and the new guy doesn't seem interested. So all of a sudden, I start thinking about my ex again. I'm afraid to look at his profile...I can't see everything, but only his location. He's traveled all over Europe while I sat and suffered. I haven't made contact....and Ihaven't looked at his profile for more than a month...although now I have this itching feeling to! But why did these feelings all of a sudden come back, and I can't get him out of my mind, and the hurt is coming back (although duller)...and here I am at 2am writing to LoveShack?! I thought I was over him...what's happening? Am I still not over him yet? Am I still not ready to move on to find new love?! What are your thoughts? 4C3BFD50-A6E2-D069-7961-E1A4ECD9C91C 1.03.01 Edited October 20, 2010 by Egychick more details added
WTRanger Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Your mind is really smart and absolutely out to get you. Your brain knows exactly what thoughts to bring up to depress you, and in this case it is your ex. It's not the recent guy as you two don't have much history together. This is normal, and you've just got to accept the thoughts and continue to move on. Don't dwell on the thoughts, but accept them and let them pass. Please, for your sake, DO NOT check his profile. Nothing good will come of that.
Trovador Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 It looks like you are forcing yourselg to get into another relationship, as if that was the answer to your situation and since you have not been able to do so, your mind resorts to the last nice, romantic, memories you experienced... Not saying that you are looking desperately for new dates but not only that is tricky given your circumstances, you should diversify your interests and concentrate on others goals in life, classes, work, hobbies, whatever you can put all your passion into... this might sound as bull**** but be positive and you will attract positives...
LoveTNT Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I did this for some years, jumping in one relationship to the other. Sometimes i swore I was over it because I was the dumper. Anyhow, if you do not let yourself mourn an ex completely you will relapse at one point. When you start dating and having rebounds etc. You're only prolonging the healing process. Believe me, a life lesson I've learned and taking into consideration in my current break up. It's been almost 3 months and I have not had sex and or started dating someone because it's truly pointless and harming myself and more than anything, prolonging my healing process that I would love To get over asap. And I don't mean by fast, but if I get down with a rebound I'll only prolong it.
jeff2321 Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 (edited) I did this for some years, jumping in one relationship to the other. Sometimes i swore I was over it because I was the dumper. Anyhow, if you do not let yourself mourn an ex completely you will relapse at one point. When you start dating and having rebounds etc. You're only prolonging the healing process. Believe me, a life lesson I've learned and taking into consideration in my current break up. It's been almost 3 months and I have not had sex and or started dating someone because it's truly pointless and harming myself and more than anything, prolonging my healing process that I would love To get over asap. And I don't mean by fast, but if I get down with a rebound I'll only prolong it. I'm going on about 3 months now myself since the ex and I broke up ( it was a 3 year relationship ). I have some platonic female friends that I've been hanging around for support throughout almost the entire grieving process and I don't think they have a lot of respect for me at this point because I've been a wreck ( I'm definitely in the friend zone with then - and I don't think women like seeing men in a really depressed non-confident state in general anyway). One of them I actually like a lot and we have a past FWB history 4 years ago when she was getting divorced, but she really isn't interested in extending that kind of same deal to me this time around ( which I'm okay with ). I actually like her, but I know there is just no interest on her side, though we do text a lot ( almost everyday )... (she is a hard one to figure out ). Anyway I haven't had sex either for 3 months and I really am afraid to. I've had some opportunities but I just can't get myself to do it yet. I think I'm still mentally attached somehow to my ex and by having sex with someone else I'd be breaking that bond. Also, it's hard to talk a girl into sex when you're self confidence is shattered and you're down. So yeah it's been interesting getting used to not having sex but I'm not dying or anything... and I'm not out there hitting on anything that walks... the opposite basically. I'm in a state of numbness really and really don't even want to think about sex really. What is wrong with me? I guess I'm just not over my ex? ( I'm almost certain my ex has probably been with someone else by now... I know her and I just know that is how she would choose to move on, but who knows ). I feel like I'm jailed and restricted by this constant emotional state of hurt and feeling of loss I feel since she left me. I'm happy a lot of the time now but I come home alone and I frequently think about her and just wish she was still around. I hope I will get over this feeling soon. Sorry for thread jacking again. I'm jumping out of a plane on saturday for my first sky diving experience -- perhaps that will help me feel a bit different. I'm jumping out of a plane instead of jumping into another relationship. Jeff Edited October 20, 2010 by jeff2321
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