datura_noir Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 My sister in law and her husband have been together since they were 14/15. They are now in their SIXTIES!! They got married in 1969, right out of high school. But then, she cheated, and they divorced (after he had a bad motorcycle accident), but were always in touch daily, because her parents thought of him as family. They both were each other's best friend. Could pick up the phone and call each other anytime.They have no kids. After the ten year divorce, they were talking one night, and brought up the divorce. She said "I didn't really want it" He said "Neither did I!" So the within next year, they moved in together. They then re-married in 1999, after twenty years of co-habitating, and are still together. We all agree, they were meant to be. I love them both and can't imagine them ever being apart. I just wanted to share here on this board, because it seems that many people think that infidelity cannot be overcome.
jennie-jennie Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 That is a beautiful story! It made me warm at heart.
pureinheart Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Thank you for sharing this:D:D. I think it's wonderful...
seren Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 A lovely post and hope for those who think that infidelity is the end of love in a marriage, I often think how easy in one way it would have been to walk away, but how dammed hard to go through life afterwards, always searching for the person I was happiest with -my H. It was that, that made me stay, the knowing that what we had would win through. How lovely.
FructoseGrande Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Well it's nice enough they got back together, finally, but "cute love story"???? That's a stretch, don't you think? She cheated on him leading to their divorce, and it takes them ten years to get back together/overcome the cheating? Ten years is a long long time. Then of course, even after getting back together ten years after the divorce, it took them another twenty years to trust each other enough to actually re-marry. That's a tragic story, not a "cute" story. IMO.
Feeling Horrible Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 That is nice that they were able to work things out after cheating. I am currently going on 1 year of seperation and it's nice to hear a story like this! Thanks for sharing!
Fieldsofgold Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I bought a property a few years ago that had two houses on it. One was new and modern, the other quite an old wood frame house. It was built by a man for his bride, as his wedding present to her, in the early 1900's. They lived in that house, worked together every day, and their children and neighbors said they never had a fight or a falling out or a cross word between them. They were sweethearts all their lives. He died at age 96; she died 3 days later, despite being considerably younger, and in perfect health. They say she died of a broken heart. I just always thought that was such a sweet story.
Fieldsofgold Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Oops, I accidentally hit "send" before I finished my post (darn touch-screen phone) about the love stories - I think anytime two people really want that kind of loving R, they can have it, if they are both committed to it. There are so many variables in infidelity. But I think often the R can heal if the couple really want it, and they can have that kind of devoted love.
on a learning curve Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 I liked that story. Thank you for sharing!
on a learning curve Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 (edited) That's a tragic story, not a "cute" story. IMO. How the heck can you call that a "tragic" story? Romeo and Juliet is a tragic story. Wrong choice of words, maybe? Edited October 21, 2010 by on a learning curve
PegNosePete Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 That's a tragic story, not a "cute" story. IMO. Agreed. It also gives false hope to those currently going through painful break-ups. We don't want to be telling them "hey maybe your ex doesn't really want the divorce? Maybe you should beg/whine/grovel to her?" Just my 2p.
on a learning curve Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Hello learning curve. This is your first post at love shack-- Keep reading and keep learning. It seems you're still somewhat behind the curve. Touché, FructoseGrande.
Spark1111 Posted October 21, 2010 Posted October 21, 2010 Oops, I accidentally hit "send" before I finished my post (darn touch-screen phone) about the love stories - I think anytime two people really want that kind of loving R, they can have it, if they are both committed to it. There are so many variables in infidelity. But I think often the R can heal if the couple really want it, and they can have that kind of devoted love. I so agree. I have known my spouse since I was 15 and he 17. Even if I decided to divorce him, if I could not forgive his infidelity, I realized early in the process he would always be one of my very closest friends.... I could never have changed that and neither could he, even if he had wound up with his OW.
Author datura_noir Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 I guess you would just have to know them IRL. My H's family is VERY humorous, and warm and big on tradition. They are first generation immigrants, and are a HUGE family. The couple in question are, for lack of a better description, just meant for each other. It's just hard to convey that on this board. But if you met them without knowing their history (and even with), you would really want to hang out with them all the time. They are THAT couple-always welcoming with an extra bed, drinks flow freely, laughter is non-stop. And very active and current and not at all acting their age. I hate that some people have thrown doubts in here, but totally understand. It was my intention to show that couples can and do recover from infidelity successfully.
lkjh Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I don't see how this is a "cute story". She cheated on him and then after nothing else went her way he took her back. I can assure you that her H has never forgotten the cheating and it still probably burns him to think about it. Not a cute story more of the lame stuff we see on lifetime
Green Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I really don't think the part about her cheating or them divorcing after a bad motorcycle acident was that cute. Thats nice that they are still togather if it makes them happy. I personaly would never continue a relationship with a person who cheated on me.
JAGeezer Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 I personally would never continue a relationship with a person who cheated on me. Neither would I, now. I tried it once and it came back to bite me in the ass. I often wonder at the trade-off. I forgave my first W her first A and tried again, and the the result was a beautiful daughter. OTOH she launched her second A before my daughter was even weaned, and nearly got me killed by a jealous AP not long after that. I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything, but I could have done without the stress and fear that went with having her. The flat truth is, to borrow an old English saying..."There's nowt sae queer as folk." I believe that certain things are absolutely wrong, every time, with no exceptions. I believe that certain things are absolutely unforgivable (I didn't used to, but I learned my lesson the hard way) with no exceptions. But that's me. Other folks have other opinions. I had a secretary for years who was a grand lady, from a large family, about whom she loved to talk. Her brother and SIL divorced over the SIL's infidelity. They were apart nearly fifteen years. They both remarried and started new families (they had two children at the time of the divorce). His W died of cancer ten years into their marriage. Her H had a roving eye (there's irony for you) and she ended up divorcing him. Not long afterward they met over their mutual kids at a family gathering and started seeing each other. A couple of months shy of their 15th anniversary as divorcees, they remarried each other. The last that I know of they were still together and still happy. I think they were both certifiably nuts, but like I said, that's just me. Most marriages don't survive infidelity. Of those that do, most are damaged to the point where divorce could be seen as humane euthanasia. But a few flourish, and some of those emerge better and stronger than they were before. However I'd hate to hold my breath between seeing one and seeing the next one. No thanks, give me a nice clean divorce and my freedom, any day and twice on Sundays. I won't be married to a cheating spouse again, and neither will my current W. We agreed to that before we were married. To borrow another old saying..."Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." JAG
Fieldsofgold Posted October 24, 2010 Posted October 24, 2010 Neither would I, now. I tried it once and it came back to bite me in the ass. I often wonder at the trade-off. I forgave my first W her first A and tried again, and the the result was a beautiful daughter. OTOH she launched her second A before my daughter was even weaned, and nearly got me killed by a jealous AP not long after that. I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything, but I could have done without the stress and fear that went with having her. The flat truth is, to borrow an old English saying..."There's nowt sae queer as folk." I believe that certain things are absolutely wrong, every time, with no exceptions. I believe that certain things are absolutely unforgivable (I didn't used to, but I learned my lesson the hard way) with no exceptions. But that's me. Other folks have other opinions. I had a secretary for years who was a grand lady, from a large family, about whom she loved to talk. Her brother and SIL divorced over the SIL's infidelity. They were apart nearly fifteen years. They both remarried and started new families (they had two children at the time of the divorce). His W died of cancer ten years into their marriage. Her H had a roving eye (there's irony for you) and she ended up divorcing him. Not long afterward they met over their mutual kids at a family gathering and started seeing each other. A couple of months shy of their 15th anniversary as divorcees, they remarried each other. The last that I know of they were still together and still happy. I think they were both certifiably nuts, but like I said, that's just me. Most marriages don't survive infidelity. Of those that do, most are damaged to the point where divorce could be seen as humane euthanasia. But a few flourish, and some of those emerge better and stronger than they were before. However I'd hate to hold my breath between seeing one and seeing the next one. No thanks, give me a nice clean divorce and my freedom, any day and twice on Sundays. I won't be married to a cheating spouse again, and neither will my current W. We agreed to that before we were married. To borrow another old saying..."Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." JAG JAG, generally I agree with you. But I also know that people can change, sometimes drastically - especially young people. I changed completely from 18-30. I became a totally different person. My very core beliefs changed. So what I did when I was young, is no way the person I am today. I can see how ten or fifteen years later, a couple could get back together. I think people can and do change at different points in their lives, in lots of different ways, for lots of different reasons. After all ..."There's nowt sae queer as folk."
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