that girl Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I'm not sure how women read whether men are serious or not, but ive spent 4 out of the last 7 days with her and thats only after 2 months..i wouldn't have time to see anyone else even if i wanted to-i work 70+ hrs a week as it is. How much time you spend with someone isn't the only marker of how committed you are to them. I was close to commiting 2 weeks ago, but this recent stuff has just pushed me away and made me question whether the girl in the first month was real....and im actually glad i haven't commited yet. Let her go. Seriously, end it. You're not really into her. You are looking for reasons to leave. All of your posts are about what you want from her and you never talk about liking her. but i think im justified in waiting to see if it gets back on track before commiting-im not too keen on the idea of withholding sex to get what you want, it's manipulative and a power play, and if i give her what she wants, she knows she can use this whenever she wants. I don't know why you are assuming it is manipulative. I think she is either pulling away because she feels you aren't committed or she has legitimately been feeling crappy. 4 dates with no sex is a bit of a dry spell, but it isn't necessarily the big deal. And you really have no right to talk about manipulation when you just considered telling her you were going to date other women as a way to see if she'd up her game. You seem to have some serious power issues and basically no concern for the girl you are dating. Let her find someone who really likes her.
AverageJoe Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 Hey rob you need to kick this gal through the uprights. Two months and this is an issue already? Do you really think it will be better a year from now? C'mon man dont walk down that road. Do yourself a favor and end it, end it now. Pull yourself together and find a gal that will be more compatible with you. Let her find some other punk to deal with that.
Author robaday Posted October 22, 2010 Author Posted October 22, 2010 Ok, Despite my ego, I guess Ive realized that this isnt going to happen. I like her a lot, but there is nothing from her side at all, no attempt to keep it moving nothing, and if im honest if i keep trying my self esteem will be at rock bottom. I do like her a lot, she is kind, caring and beautiful, but if i keep putting myself out there to get shot down ill be an idiot. I want to bow out gracefully, i dont care if shes got another guy, i just want to walk with my head held high, im sad its come to this, i thought chemistry was amazing but maybe im stupid, im just surprised is all, and disappointed, i misread things and im gonna have to let her go
Kic Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 You're not exclusive with her, so you can bow out by merely meeting and going on dates with other ladies. During your absence, maybe she'll realize she'd lost more than she thought. You don't have to give some sort of "bow out speech" - especially since there is "nothing from her side" - although if she eventually asks or if it makes sense to do so, you can let her know that you felt like the relationship just wasn't going anywhere. Or, if you feel she can take it, admit that sex is an important part of a relationship to you - no shame in that and don't let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. She withdrew first, so the ball's in her court and you don't need to make any grand gestures. Kind of like with No Contact.
that girl Posted October 22, 2010 Posted October 22, 2010 Ok, Despite my ego, I guess Ive realized that this isnt going to happen. I like her a lot, but there is nothing from her side at all, no attempt to keep it moving nothing, and if im honest if i keep trying my self esteem will be at rock bottom. I do like her a lot, she is kind, caring and beautiful, but if i keep putting myself out there to get shot down ill be an idiot. I want to bow out gracefully, i dont care if shes got another guy, i just want to walk with my head held high, im sad its come to this, i thought chemistry was amazing but maybe im stupid, im just surprised is all, and disappointed, i misread things and im gonna have to let her go Um, what? I think you should stop seeing her because you don't seem to like her as a person and you just seem interested in sex. She keeps asking you out and is involved in a sexual relationship with you. You aren't putting yourself out there and getting shot down.
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