Is This Rape?

[JackJack]

Then why didn't you mention in your first post about all of that? Here it is 6 or 7 pages later. You stated itching and burning but didn't say one word about what you just said now. Guess it wasn't worth mentioning? Probably could have saved you from people saying things about it further though had they known that upfront.

Edited November 4, 2010 by JackJack

[BettyBoo]

Get out of this awful abusive relationship. The other man does not seem like such a great choice either . I think you need to get help and live on your own with your kids and sort your life out first.

 

Give men a wide berth till you sort your own life out

 

best of luck:)

[NeverALover]

do what everyone is saying about seeking help and moving out. in the mean time stop the rape by buying a chastity belt and hiding the key somewhere he wont know about:

 

http://www.shopmania.com/shopping~online-adult~buy-strict-leather-female-chastity-belt~p-3360915.html

 

you said you had some money saved up, i think you can deal with sparing $90 until you figure everything out, and once you do leave make sure to report that guy!

[NickelbackFan]

Yeah about that itching and burning feeling, can you say STD from your being unfaithful to your husband ? Unless you have caught him in the act it plausible your wetness, soreness and discharge can be from you having sex with another man.

[Suerenity]

Oh for Heaven's sake!!! You people are so ridiculous!!! You act like fornication isn't a sin!!!(which I KNOW just about 95% or more of you have done or ARE DOING). Not to mention others such as homosexuality, stealing, coveting, worshiping idols, other gods, committing murder, etc. No sin is greater than another and hurts people some way or another. To sit here and judge me, is indirectly saying that you're perfect and can do no wrong. The question was "Is this rape?" not "Is cheating wrong?" or "Do you think my husband gave me an STD?" or better yet "My husband's raping me and I'm cheating, now BASH ME PLEASE". I hope one day in your 'make believe, perfect little lives' someone judges, disbelieves and degrades you for being so ignorant and narrow-minded to let you see exactly how it feels. Like I said before, thank you to the posters who at least tried to answer my question and had sense enough give positive and uplifting advice but for the rest of you... one day you WILL realize that life is real and that no one is perfect. I hope you never have to experience the things that I did and end up having to make the decisions that I now have to. If you did, I hope that you at least learned a valuable lesson from it. The innocent really do suffer for the guilty. Why is every one jumping to STD's though? I already said that both OM and I were tested and clean and yet everyone is still blaming me. The 20yr old girl CALLED ME at work and said that she and my husband had a 3yr relationship and that she just *****ed him 4 days prior to her call, not to mention, RIGHT AFTER I was almost killed in a car accident and had JUST been released from the hospital. I was NOT cheating, I had NOT BEEN cheating and was a good wife. Although I was seriously injured, I was still cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and having SEX with him because I cared that much. So is it still unclear where the first STD came from??? If it is, then you need to start elementary school, or better yet, K5 all over again. This man has admitted to being "like a monster" and having sex with almost anyone at one point. Right down to the hotdog woman at his job. Now tell me that I should not be withholding my vagina from him. Please tell me! The reason I stayed was because we had agreed that we would try to work on it and I stopped wearing my wedding ring ever since. I didn't know if I could ever get past that.

 

I'm not trying to justify my cheating because I know it's a very selfish thing to do. I've been putting myself last for my entire marriage and thought it was high time I worried about MY feelings for a change and went into it without regret. It was to see how it would feel and it felt damned good for a change. I am sorry that it now has to affect my kids but not sorry that it's affecting him. He deserves every tear and heartache that he now has because I endured years of silent suffering. How pigheaded and silly it would be to not see that and just bash me because you can get a quick response or because you have been cheated on. I think there are people who make it a habit of going on forums and picking out targets to 'play with their heads' and get them all fired up by making silly remarks and hostile comments. Whether you fall into that category, or if you're just plain old ignorant and uneducated, my advice to you would be to get a life and stay out of other people's until you're able to see and think clearly enough to give sound, sensible advice or help. The world has enough *******s out there. Stay on the side lines. lol:p Everything you say on here is nothing that my husband hasn't already said.

[Kendrick]

When you come into a forum and lay your business out for others, you are gonna get comments, good and and not so good. You're gonna get opinions, some good some not so good. You're also gonna get judged. Yep believe it or not some will. WHY? Because all people judge at some point in their lives, so if you think they wont think again. I didn't say it was right, I said it will more than likely happen. You say no one is free from sin, you're right no one is free from judging either. So, you have to weed out what you don't like, the ones who you feel were harsh and go with what you feel is the best advice for you. Also, sometimes what one might perceive as judgment, might not really be anything more than someone pointing out truths. I think the bottom line here is people don't want to see you continue on in these bad situations and hope you make a better choice for yourself and kids.

[dreamingoftigers]

Oh for Heaven's sake!!! You people are so ridiculous!!! You act like fornication isn't a sin!!!(which I KNOW just about 95% or more of you have done or ARE DOING). Not to mention others such as homosexuality, stealing, coveting, worshiping idols, other gods, committing murder, etc. No sin is greater than another and hurts people some way or another. To sit here and judge me, is indirectly saying that you're perfect and can do no wrong. The question was "Is this rape?" not "Is cheating wrong?" or "Do you think my husband gave me an STD?" or better yet "My husband's raping me and I'm cheating, now BASH ME PLEASE". I hope one day in your 'make believe, perfect little lives' someone judges, disbelieves and degrades you for being so ignorant and narrow-minded to let you see exactly how it feels. Like I said before, thank you to the posters who at least tried to answer my question and had sense enough give positive and uplifting advice but for the rest of you... one day you WILL realize that life is real and that no one is perfect. I hope you never have to experience the things that I did and end up having to make the decisions that I now have to. If you did, I hope that you at least learned a valuable lesson from it. The innocent really do suffer for the guilty. Why is every one jumping to STD's though? I already said that both OM and I were tested and clean and yet everyone is still blaming me. The 20yr old girl CALLED ME at work and said that she and my husband had a 3yr relationship and that she just *****ed him 4 days prior to her call, not to mention, RIGHT AFTER I was almost killed in a car accident and had JUST been released from the hospital. I was NOT cheating, I had NOT BEEN cheating and was a good wife. Although I was seriously injured, I was still cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and having SEX with him because I cared that much. So is it still unclear where the first STD came from??? If it is, then you need to start elementary school, or better yet, K5 all over again. This man has admitted to being "like a monster" and having sex with almost anyone at one point. Right down to the hotdog woman at his job. Now tell me that I should not be withholding my vagina from him. Please tell me! The reason I stayed was because we had agreed that we would try to work on it and I stopped wearing my wedding ring ever since. I didn't know if I could ever get past that.

 

I'm not trying to justify my cheating because I know it's a very selfish thing to do. I've been putting myself last for my entire marriage and thought it was high time I worried about MY feelings for a change and went into it without regret. It was to see how it would feel and it felt damned good for a change. I am sorry that it now has to affect my kids but not sorry that it's affecting him. He deserves every tear and heartache that he now has because I endured years of silent suffering. How pigheaded and silly it would be to not see that and just bash me because you can get a quick response or because you have been cheated on. I think there are people who make it a habit of going on forums and picking out targets to 'play with their heads' and get them all fired up by making silly remarks and hostile comments. Whether you fall into that category, or if you're just plain old ignorant and uneducated, my advice to you would be to get a life and stay out of other people's until you're able to see and think clearly enough to give sound, sensible advice or help. The world has enough *******s out there. Stay on the side lines. lol:p Everything you say on here is nothing that my husband hasn't already said.

 

Rape is unacceptable no matter what you are doing. I hope you find peace and get rid of the garbage in your life, good job for standing up for yourself. I hope that you make healthier choices than you have been and that you learn to protect yourself from living with or dealing with men that are predators. I hope that you truly learn to respect yourself, and from that end you will respect others. This thread had some of the harshest criticism and assumptions that I have ever seen thrown at anyone on LS.

 

I couldn't believe it when someone suggested that you passed out drunk and pissed your pants and then wanted someone else to blame. People who haven't been through very much often offer disbelief for people going through hard times. They often will say someone is making it up because it is so far outside of their day to day existence. Don't take it personally, one day when you are in a stronger position, use your experience to help others in your situation. Then everyone wins.

[phillyfan]

I am very tired of being married but try my best to "keep the peace" since I am financially stuck right now. I am seeing AM and love him to death. I've been through an extremely negative and difficult marriage for 6yrs. and with OM for about 8-9mths (seeing each other just about everyday). Now I have 2 kids, 7 and 2(boy & girl) and I'm trying to save money right now because I'm fed up and do plan to leave H by the end of the year at most. Here's the problem, I've told H for the past 2 years (since the birth of our daughter at least) that I didn't feel sexually attracted to him anymore. I mean I literally could watch an entire porn flick with him and NOT be turned on. In fact, I'm turned off because of the feeling of impending doom, by knowing what's to happen.(Having sex with him). Mind you, it's the complete opposite when I'm with with OM.

 

So on numerous occassions, either when we're having family gatherings or go out with the children, he would try to get me to drink. After which, when we get home and I get comfortable and put the kids to bed, I'd have another glass or two and go to sleep. The next morning, I'd wake up with a burning sensation, like I've been having sex. No matter what I tell him as to why I don't wish to have sex that night, he would do it. I was rather late on my Depo last month and had severe cramps to the point where I almost wanted to cry. I took 2 Baralgin (which knocks you out and I'm already a hard sleeper). When I awoke, the cramps were even worse, my underwear was clearly tampered with and wet, I was in physical pain in that area and not to mention 'itching'! I could not believe that that could happen to a person without them knowing and also, that my own husband would do that to me knowing that I was already in pain. The only reason I haven't reported these incidents to the police is because 1) it's sort of surreal because I was asleep and don't feel like anyone would believe that I didn't wake up during and 2) because I know that would be the end of our relationship before I'm financially able to take care of myself.

 

He is not working right now full time anyhow and only does partial weeks work and I don't feel like him being arrested would help the kids or our situation but inside I'm torn apart and grieving because I can't believe this has happened to me. Not once, not twice, but more than about 5 times. I feel sooo stupid. All of this is the reason why I don't want to have normal sex with him because it's now a full turn off. All I see him as is a sex-addicted rapist. He does this too with the aid of pornography. I mean isn't masturbation just as fulfilling. It is for me! I would never do that to a person.

 

I know that this is rape but don't know what I should do at this point about it. God I want out! Any suggestions would be really appreciated.

 

WTF?! SET UP A VIDEO RECORDER, get the evidence then leave.

 

Seriously lady, it is your body and you are choosing to leave your body there, to let him do that time after time, you even have another man to go to yet you choose to stay and get hurt. Take responsibility for your own life and just get out of this freakin nitemare.