rebeccajones Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 my recent ex of a month hung out with my brother in law this past weekend and stayed over at my sister's while he was there my sister spoke to him about me and him. He was probably half drunk or just sobered up after having a few drinks. Anyway she really likes him and us together so she talked to him. She got a positive vibe like if we just talked you never know. He told her he was hurt because everyone was gone from his life and he also said he felt pressured to get married and that he has to do it on his own and that I would argue with him alot over it. Anyway so my sister felt bad for him and refriended him on FB thinking positive about her talk with him. She sent him a message the next day saying how she wants us to work it out or something of that nature.He responded thank you for your good heart, but I think I'm heading in another direction (something like that). Also he left to Europe that day for a few weeks. Anyway it hurt me that he said that. I actually have been ok, great even, but when she told me about the first time she talked to him a little relief came over me, like I felt happy and then the second message I heard from her just really brought me down! It's like going back all over again. No contact was much better, but he kind of broke it by hanging out with my family!!!!! I guess I'll get over it UGH. Any thoughts are appreciated.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 I just don't get why he has no desire to contact me. I want someone to be desperate over me for once. He seems fine going in his "new direction". I'm sad he doesn't care at all. I just don't know if anyone will fall hard for me. Makes me feel unworthy.
Idalis Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I know your sister meant well, but she probably shouldnt have told you about their convo (if the convo shouldve taken place at all is another story!) Don't know how old you are but if you're over 19 I would say have a conversation with your sister about just not letting you know what goes on with him, or what he has to say about you. Its not benefiting you in any way, and its actually harming you. When you're in HS the whole friend intervening on your behalf might be cute, but as adults I think guys might find that a bit annoying, at least any guy I know would. You are not unworthy of love, just b/c one person in a world of billions doesn't love you that does NOT Mean that you are unloveable. It just means that there is someone else out there for you. He is obviously moving on with his life with out your input, and you need to do the same. There will be someone else, and it will be great, but that won't happen until you let go of this and start realizing the things about yourself that make you a wonderful, worthy person. Best wishes!!
Author rebeccajones Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Yes letting go is the tough part!!! I told my sis to cut ties with him, delete him off FB. I mean that's the only way I can move forward. I don't want to know anything about him. Thanks Idalis.
Idalis Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 It is tough, and you will have some ups and downs with it. But you will come out a better person. Hang in there!!
Author rebeccajones Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 I responded to one of your posts.
Idalis Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 awesome! Let me go check it out. How are you holding up??
Author rebeccajones Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 From your other post you sound good. I hope things work out for you both. I was reading last night some posts on here from men about marriage. They seem to look at it so different from us. I'm not sure I completely understand. But it did seem that they feel deep love for their girlfriends but sometimes become very nervous about marriage, maybe they feel it's a huge responsibility and commitment and we think of it more emotionally how wonderful it would be! Anyway no way of completely understanding. I am holding up good. I think I took a step back once my ex was with my family. I was moving forward and that brought me back to thinking of him!! I need to get back to feeling good again. I still ahve a twinge of hope for him and I but I want to move ahead!! I was and will again. Thanks for asking!!
Author rebeccajones Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 My sister now defriended my x which is good. He is on vacation and his status says he can't believe all the beautiful women there. So yea that hurt. At this point I hate him. I am glad no one related to him can see what he says or does!!!!!!!! I was good and I will make it through. I want to forget him! but it's just hard to let go, but maybe I have to, like this post I read about the bird being trapped but holding on to the trap string thinking he wouldn't survive if he let go, but that would be the only way he could survive! So let go Let go LET GO!!!!!!!!!
Author rebeccajones Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 I'm jus so stressed, you know I was so happy, even with him, I was, I was good anyway its not meant to be.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 21, 2010 Author Posted October 21, 2010 I guess I should not look at his FB page?? I do although I don't see everything whatever I do see makes me upset or think stupid crap!
Idalis Posted October 25, 2010 Posted October 25, 2010 Sorry! I hadnt seen that you replied. I know it must be hard not to look at this little "window" in to his life, but I think once you do stop looking moving on will be easier! I hope you're doing well... I know coping with a break up can have its ups and downs.
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