cucumbernub Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Has it only been 3 months? 3 months since you left me and decided that our relationship wasn’t worth saving. It really feels like an eternity to me, I think about you everyday, I think about the sweet nothings you whisper to me and the sweet everythings you proclaim. Why did I believe you so much then? You convinced me that our love was meant to be, perhaps you were trying to convince yourself as well? Our whole break up keeps on replaying itself in my mind. When we were together, you were my angel, my princess, the love of my life. When did you become the devil? Did it happen suddenly or was I just naïve enough to not spot your gradual evolution? I keep on telling myself this is not the real you, the one I love is hidden beneath that façade but who am I kidding? Everything isn’t a dream, it’s been long enough for me to accept it as reality, as much as it hurts. Not a day goes by when I don’t feel melancholic and cynical. You said he was just a friend. You told me nothing would happen. I trusted you, yet at the time I knew I shouldn’t have. I wonder if I was the one who pushed you into his arms. Maybe I was at fault but I can’t live with what-ifs. I did what I was forced to do at the time, do you know the feeling of seeing someone you love slip out of your grasp into another’s? I don’t think you will ever know the feeling. I was there for you when it was your fear, do you remember your cries and pleas? I’d like to believe I wasn’t just a transition for you. I want to believe that everything was real, your feelings were real. But if they were, despite your reassurances, how can you be capable of doing something like this? How can I escape from this void? You tell me to believe in love, that I deserve better, that you’re not worth it. The irony. I don’t know what plans the universe have for my future. The only way I can see it is if there’s a bright light at the end of the tunnel whatever that will be. Will you regret what you did, or have you finally found the love of your life? Unfortunately, fairy tales don’t exist. I’ve learnt it the hard way.. again. The person whom I envisioned growing old together with was you. Maybe, that was just foolish thinking on my part. Do you ever feel sad? Do you ever feel remorse? Was it ever real? Those are the questions I’ll never know the answer to. And I may never will. The best thing for me is to cut you off from my world, as heartbreaking as it is. Because it’s obvious I’m nothing but a distant memory for you now. You sound happy with him now. It’s a new life for you. Does it hurt that I’m not sharing your happiness with you? It hurts a hundred and one percent. One day, I hope to be able to find courage to love again. And when I do, hopefully I will be able to reflect and thank you for the mistakes I made. Will you be the one for me? Only the universe knows that. Ultimately, I’m the most important person in my life. And nothing can ever change that. Goodbye. May we meet again. If ever.
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