primer Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Would you date someone that did not have a job? The individual I know of does not get unemployment either. The individual is almost 40 years old and the "Bank of Mom and Dad" is paying the bills. I don't think I could date someone like this. It shows lack of ambition. Any job (waitress, factory, etc.) would look better than none.
machiavellian Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 What is this person doing with his/her time?
Pyro Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Depends on the situation. If they are not working but going to school instead then thats OK. If they are out of a job but are actively looking for a new job then its OK, but anything else is out of the question.
Author primer Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 The person hasn't worked in at least three years. (I think that is enough time to find some kind of job.) Free time = Facebook, gardening, reading, watching TV
carhill Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Yep, full time medical students make for lousy date prospects OP, in your case, you're getting really good information about important aspects of this person's psychology. If those don't match up with your aspects, then it's an incompatible situation. FWIW, I haven't had a 'job' since 1987
Raderick Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Depends. If she's going to school, no problems. If she's one of these "work at home" type, that's a good thing. If she has $$$ in the bank and thus doesn't need a job, Heh... If she's unemployed because she was laid off/fired and is actively looking for a job (i.e. interviews at least once a week) then I'd be willing to give it a chance, taking this **** economy into consideration. If she's out of school with no job, isn't taking in any sort of money (through unemployment or disability) or isn't actively looking for a job, then I'm going to pass.
machiavellian Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 The person hasn't worked in at least three years. (I think that is enough time to find some kind of job.) Free time = Facebook, gardening, reading, watching TV That's kind of a turn off. If s/he was in school, volunteering, doing something worthwhile (by my standards) it probably wouldn't matter....that just sounds lazy though.
lolreconlol Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Depends on the situation. If they are not working but going to school instead then thats OK. If they are out of a job but are actively looking for a new job then its OK, but anything else is out of the question. My girlfriend dumped me because I didn't have a job, even though I'm a Junior in college going to school full time. Would you date someone that did not have a job? The individual I know of does not get unemployment either. The individual is almost 40 years old and the "Bank of Mom and Dad" is paying the bills. I don't think I could date someone like this. It shows lack of ambition. Any job (waitress, factory, etc.) would look better than none. I couldn't date someone like that, unless I REALLY loved them.
Eeyore79 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 If someone is in school, is out of work but actively looking for a job, or has suffered from ill health which has prevented them from working, then I'd cut them some slack. But if they were just lazy and lacked ambition, I wouldn't date them.
Pyro Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 My girlfriend dumped me because I didn't have a job, even though I'm a Junior in college going to school full time. if that was the only reason why she did then good riddance to her.
OceanGirl Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 If a guy was in school, OK. If he has been out of work for couple of months and is actively looking, OK. Anything else - a complete deal breaker. It represents no ambition. I have no respect for people who sit on their a$$ and watch TV all day
EyeAlone Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Yep, full time medical students make for lousy date prospects I tried dating a guy that didn't have a job. He was thinking about perhaps going back to school but he wasn't making any active plans to achieve that nor any plans to find a job. If you're going to talk the talk, then you better walk the walk. He did not. I did my honest best to look past that but it didn't work (no pun intended). It probably didn't help that in one of his initial messages he wrote that he wouldn't mind being a house-husband.
LoveLace Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I dated someone for a few years that was always either on or off with work. He'd had every kind of job out there, labor wise. Even before economy probs, it seemed he'd get laid off only a few months into a job. Then months without one...vicious circle like that. Between jobs he was always looking for ways to make money, so it wasn't as though he didn't want to work. However he rarely could afford to take me out. Great guy as a person but I never could think of taking him home to mom and dad, given the long term instability. In the case of someone losing their job and actively seeking another one, that is ok. But when it's a person who really doesn't even want to work and efforts are minimal to do so, not a chance h*ll with me. Can't stand a lazy a$$.
Author primer Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 I would not date someone that was financially dependent on others and did not work. That would be a 'red flag'; they are looking for someone to support them.
daphne Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 It probably didn't help that in one of his initial messages he wrote that he wouldn't mind being a house-husband. Why on earth did you pass up on that gem?
sanskrit Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 For men, a vast majority of women will not date you if you don't have a -good- -stable- job, or are wealthy from some other source. A majority of women will not date you if you make less money than them. For women, a vast majority of men don't care about your job status as long as you look good. Of course there are outliers, any particular outlier does not change the factual nature of the above statements. /threadanswered
Mutant Debutante Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Would you date someone that did not have a job? The individual I know of does not get unemployment either. The individual is almost 40 years old and the "Bank of Mom and Dad" is paying the bills. I don't think I could date someone like this. It shows lack of ambition. Any job (waitress, factory, etc.) would look better than none. Heck no. I have dated plenty of guys who had crappy day jobs to support themselves while they worked on their art, and that's cool. I work two jobs, myself, because the one I'm really passionate about doesn't pay very well yet. 40 years old and leeching off of elderly parents? What a maroon.
hopesndreams Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Would you date someone that did not have a job? The individual I know of does not get unemployment either. The individual is almost 40 years old and the "Bank of Mom and Dad" is paying the bills. I don't think I could date someone like this. It shows lack of ambition. Any job (waitress, factory, etc.) would look better than none. I wouldn't date someone that didn't have a car either. Sponge, sponge and sponge. Yuck.
Template Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Y'know, there are women who are attracted to these types of men, because they present some type of challenge or project. Kind of like the men who have hero syndrome, and just HAS to save a woman. For whatever reason, these women are convinced that the guy just "fell on hard times", or "is a nice guy, it just has to come out", or whatever reasoning they used to justify their clear lack of judgement in character.
Losing Faith Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 A couple things to think about is... -Will this person be an equal in your relationship? Or will you become this persons care taker? -What kind of "partnership" will a relationship w/ this person be? -Will this person be able to support you and help you when you are in need? I honestly don't think I could date someone that was almost 40 and living off mommy and daddy. If the person was sick, like fighting cancer or something sever like that, then it would be a different story. But a fully cabable person letting their parents still take care of them at almost 40 years old would be HUGE red flags for me. Best of luck!
Banker Chick Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I just ended a 10 month relationship where the guy (38) was unemployed and getting unemployment when I met him but was starting school two months after we met to become a teacher. He did end up getting a job and did appear to have a good work/school ethic working full time and taking a full load at school. However, he is STILL financially irresponsible to the point I had no respect for him because of it. I can't tolerate someone that can't make his car insurance payment but then heads up to Hooter's to drink beer with his buddies and watch football games. At some point you have to grow up.
USMCHokie Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Depends on the situation. If they are not working but going to school instead then thats OK. If they are out of a job but are actively looking for a new job then its OK, but anything else is out of the question. This. However, the only qualm I'd have with it is that you might spend a bit too much time with that person as they usually don't have much else going on, especially if you are a student...
carhill Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I just found out yesterday that the reason our local grocery store closed is there's a WalMart Supercenter coming in the next couple months. I was thinking of applying for a job as a greeter. Great way to meet women, eh? Re-enter the workforce after 23 years? Maybe I'll get some dates too. Greeting customers is steady work, right? BTW, my quip about dating a medical student was sarcasm. That's a person with a plan and they work their butt off to execute.
LoveLace Posted October 20, 2010 Posted October 20, 2010 I wouldn't date someone that didn't have a car either. Sponge, sponge and sponge. Yuck. Did that, what a pain in the ars that was.
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