usagi Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 feel my reserve wavering and I was wondering if you guys could give me examples of why it's a bad idea to re-establish contact after 6 months of me not contacting her (received 2 attempts at contact from her by text but las one was 3 months ago). Thing is we have some friends in common and she lives very near me so I see her every so often. I'm aware that she's pretty unhappy and a small part of me is rationalising that she may regret her decision. So if you can give examples of why it's better to remain NC after a failed attempt of reconnection that you experienced..... thanks
TLCbear Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Examples of why not contact after 6 months I would say it could be a big possibility the person's feelings may have change. I once had an ex who contacted me a year after our break up. We did get back together for a couple of months, but I realized my feelings had changed and so did his. He wanted to get married and I want to date other people. Actually I'm a little confused myself on when to make contact because you don't want to wait too long nor do you want to do it too soon. But I would make a guess and say about 3 months...guess it depend on the two people and reason for the breakup.
SithLord Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 To detox yourself! No contact is to focus on healing yourself and working on making improvements in your life. Also it helps u moving on with life. Usually when u vanish off the map after being with a girlfriend, usually it gets them curious with ur life and makes them hit u up when they haven't heard from u in a long period time. But the thing is u can't think of no contact as a tool to get ur ex back, it's a weapon to GET YOU back to normal and focus.
SithLord Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Let her come to u, usually 9 times out of 10 when that person comes back, u usually don't want them.
DustySaltus Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 If you want to have a fresh start, you have to change the dynamic of the relationship. By sticking to NC you have done that. If she comes back to you and says she made a big mistake and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work, then you have a decision to make. If you went back to her at this point and broke NC, you are essentially telling her that you were ok with the way things went in the past. You have the power, use it wisely because the moment you break NC you lose it.
chocolate_boy Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 feel my reserve wavering and I was wondering if you guys could give me examples of why it's a bad idea to re-establish contact after 6 months of me not contacting her (received 2 attempts at contact from her by text but las one was 3 months ago). Thing is we have some friends in common and she lives very near me so I see her every so often. I'm aware that she's pretty unhappy and a small part of me is rationalising that she may regret her decision. So if you can give examples of why it's better to remain NC after a failed attempt of reconnection that you experienced..... thanks High probability they're in a new relationship by then.
Stephie Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I can, I cut off contact August 31st and last night after several beers and a failed atempt with a new person I text him. (He dumped me) I get a response followed by the word babe... Really babe? This led to 2 hrs of back and fourth simple convo trying to convince one another we were happy and our lifes were better than the other's. So yeah I'm having a hard time focusing today on anything but him. If you are not over it the smallest word like being called babe can give you false hope. When were left heartborken we desire the smallest words from them to make us feel like there is hope of a second chance, when there isn't. Being called babe made me feel so good but so sad know what I mean.
kaycstamper Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Being called babe by the person who dumped you shows presumption on their part, like they own you and can call you what they want when they want, it'd make me friggin mad!
Trovador Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 After a year or so of NC, I saw my ex, said hello and that prompted some emails from both parties, but nothing happened... I guess we were not really interested in each other... It was as each other was waiting for the other to say the magical words... and to think that I loved so much that girl!
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