ForeverAwkward Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I've been dating a guy I met work for a little over two months. We're not exactly coworkers, we work for separate companies in the same location, so we don't really work together, just pass by each other a lot. He's tried to ask me out since January, but I wasn't really interested (I was interested in someone else, but he didn't feel the same way). He was persistent, and I finally agreed to a date in August. Our fifth date was earlier this month, and we're not "officially" a couple right now. He doesn't really initiate contact with me anymore, hasn't asked me out again (even though I suggested a place) and he doesn't answer my texts. All signs of him not being interested, right? Well, he still visits me at work! And not just him passing by on his way to work, he will actually seek me out, and start a conversation with me as if nothing is wrong. He'll say he'll call or text me later but rarely follows through. Now, I haven't been blowing up his phone or anything like that. I took the lack of contact as an obvious sign of disinterest, so I backed off and tried to move on, but its hard to do when he randomly shows up at work. I enjoy his company, and if he's still interested, I'd like to get together with him more. If he's not interested, I'd like for him to stop visiting me for a little while so I can move on. How can I talk to him about this?
Titania22 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 You could text him, 'I like you, but if you're not interested could you please give me a little space so I could move on' This was the first thing that popped into my head after I read your post.
Something_Awesome Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 You could text him, 'I like you, but if you're not interested could you please give me a little space so I could move on' This was the first thing that popped into my head after I read your post. Straight forward and shows him that you don't wanna play games. I endorse the above solution
Fouts Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Maybe he's just bored at work, killing time with someone he knows? Maybe he wants you to pursue him at this point? Either way, probably sounds like the bloom is off the rose.
Author ForeverAwkward Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 Thanks, guys! I like the texting idea, though I'm thinking of doing it by email instead.
machiavellian Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 He can ignore (or "not receive") texts and email. I would do it face to face, or at least over the phone.
WTRanger Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 He can ignore (or "not receive") texts and email. I would do it face to face, or at least over the phone. Yep, own up and do it over the phone or face to face. Email and text give him a chance to think about and craft a response that'll keep you on the hook. Doing it in person forces him to think on his feet and chances are you'll get a more honest answer.
Author ForeverAwkward Posted October 20, 2010 Author Posted October 20, 2010 I was thinking of doing it face to face, but I was worried he'd think I was asking him to commit to me. Doing it by email or text seemed like less pressure on him. I still haven't decided how to talk to him about it yet, though...
Author ForeverAwkward Posted October 23, 2010 Author Posted October 23, 2010 I tried to do it by phone. I called him and left a message that I wanted to talk to him about something that was "kind of important." He texted me about an hour later saying he was work and that he'd call me as soon as he's off. I got a missed call from him 2am (which makes sense, with his job). I texted him the next day asking when would be a good time for me to call him tomorrow. No response, and he's obviously alive cause he's been posting stuff on Facebook. I'm taking this as much more obvious sign of disinterest, and I don't feel like trying anymore. I sense he's trying to avoid me, and maybe he'll stop visiting me at work. Which is kind of what I wanted.
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