KarmasTestDummy Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 All this talk about how our manpicker's are broken really got me' thinking about me' and what I look for and accept in a man. So did the research and my job has a lifeworks program for employees that pays for the first 6 sessions. So, I called for a referral and am going to give it a try and see if some of my issues can be resolved so I can find a healthy relationship and be strong enough when and if exmm calls me' one day.
BB07 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Yay! KTD.........you are going to be just fine because you've got the good sense to see what is wrong and do something about it. You go girl! From another woman who's man picker is broken but hey I'm working on it.
on a learning curve Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Good for you, Karma! Take care of you.
sc58 Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 I just started therapy as well, just last week actually. Even though I've only had one session with her, my therapist helped me see WHY I even let myself get into that situation. That my past life experiences have led me to believe that being hurt is ok, even normal. I'm starting to realize that it's NOT ok and it's NOT what a normal relationship should be like. Everyday with my MM was a roller coaster. The high of being with him then the low when he would go back home to his wife. And while I tried to ignore it, the pain was there every single day. I told myself that I was the one that got into this mess, so I deserve it. But you know, it takes two to tango, and he made the choice too. And now I am making the choice to get out of this unhealthy relationship and work on MYSELF. I was watching "House" the other night and he said, "If everyone was a little more selfish, the world would be a better place." So that's exactly what I'm gonna do - be selfish. Good luck to you and keep me posted!
Author KarmasTestDummy Posted October 19, 2010 Author Posted October 19, 2010 But heck I don't even know where to begin. Unresolved issues of a long history of codependent women in my family and being overweight and insecure led me' to an abusive marriage, or was it the abusive marriage that makes me' keep from finding a man that I'm afraid to disappoint, so mm was safe. He only wanted the fantasy side of me'. I'm afraid I keep doing that though, finding men who aren't emotionally available or men who need someone to fix them. Hope I'm not too broken to glue back together again. I've got a 10 year old daughter to think about and the example I set for her.
on a learning curve Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 But heck I don't even know where to begin. Unresolved issues of a long history of codependent women in my family and being overweight and insecure led me' to an abusive marriage, or was it the abusive marriage that makes me' keep from finding a man that I'm afraid to disappoint, so mm was safe. He only wanted the fantasy side of me'. I'm afraid I keep doing that though, finding men who aren't emotionally available or men who need someone to fix them. Hope I'm not too broken to glue back together again. I've got a 10 year old daughter to think about and the example I set for her. Karma- You are not broken, you are human. Begin with what is foremost in your mind and let it go from there. In the words of a movie I have recently watched: "You don't need a man, you need a champion".
Fieldsofgold Posted October 19, 2010 Posted October 19, 2010 Hi, Karma! I think it's great that you are going to IC. No, you are NOT too broken to "fix." The one biggest thing that therapy did for me, it taught me to recognize when someone was disrespecting me, and that it was not OK for other people to treat me that way. Wishing you the best!
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